This Friday ep 7: “The Cursed Tuba Contingency”

OK, last week's episode was a royal mess with more plotholes than a Swiss cheese has holes, but this one was such a great improvement, comparatively speaking.

GOOD PARTS

I have to say there were many.

- First when I read the summary, I thought, "Wow, The Middleman ripped off Warehouse 13 (2009) this time!" After all, The Middleman is ripping off other stuff all the time. But it turns out this episode aired about one year before the pilot of Warehouse 13. Points for you, Middleman writers!

- I loved the Randolph Scott mention as The Middleman's choice of rugged male individualism... Considering how in the closet he was.

- Lacey: "That's so clear... Concise." Yep, everything that I'm not...

- I approved of the Lacey x Middleman relationship. Those two were so cute together. And anything to get Lacey out of her usual ridiculousness is an improvement. Actually, Lacey as a character is marginally redeemable, unlike Noser and everything to do with Wendy in her private life.

- The fake CSI and the "bromance" with MM..

- MM: "Nice deduction, Watson." - i'm starting to think Wendy's last name was not given her by chance.

- Wendy applying her drawing skills to good use (FINALLY!)

- The sexually desperate guy, and unexpected turn of events of his sexcapade.

- The return of Elaine Hendrix.

- MM never saw the ending of that movie because of work-elated issues.

- Rogers: "...taking the spot of a boy with polio and his blind mother."

- MM: "...drown, come back to life, drown again for all eternity."

- Gosh, I had to see Mr. Rogers in a tuxedo to realize he was a Leonardo Di Caprio wannabe... How slow of me.

- "HELP!" = SHIP HORN!


PROBLEMATIC PARTS

- It starts with a Men in Black/Pulp Fiction rip off. The Middleman: squashing space bugs in the backseat and copying from the very best!

- Wow, when the Middleman was surrounded by succubi I really feared for his life, especially when he volunteered to sacrifice his own life and Wendy's. They might even "die"! I was really scared! OK, unless, the writers would decide to bring another Middleman and assistant in a crate, clones perhaps... No, the writers wouldn't do something that stupid, would they?

- Roxy: "You are a s ignorant as your jacket is tacky." - Yes, Roxy, like last episode has shown us, The Middleman is very ignorant. Maxwell Smart ignorant.

- "Yo, Wendy Watson!"

- Rogers: "Hello again? Never seen a man come back from the dead before?" Actually, yes. I've seen Pushing Daisies, Torchwood, Highlander (with no tuba)....

- Shows which mostly use standalone episodes tend to tease the viewer with major character development moments, just to hit a "reset button" in the end. Sometimes they do that with talent, sometimes it's just forcing a situation in a very artificial way. In the case of MM and Lacey's "breakup" we have an expected side (the good old superhero "I can't expose my beloved to danger" cliché - after all, the MM is a walking cliché and this show thrives in clichés), and an idiotic conclusion. In what universe does "she's your roommate, I'm your boss" make a lick of sense among adults? It sounded like Lacey was Wendy's mother and Wendy was a jealous 10-year-old.

OVERALL OBSERVATIONS

The episode had many good moments and almost significant character development (totally ruined in the end). I have the feeling the writers have good ideas, but the show can't help being sucked by the black hole of its own problems: MM's lack of depth as a human being, the damned "reset button" (the same that magically brought Ida back because they had to reset things), Noser, the illegal sublet Wendy shares..., Lacey's mother issues...

Again, the good moments were promising,Lacey and MM were perfect together, Lacey looked lovely in a romantic setting and away from Wendy's annoying personal space, just to be sucked back ruining everything as usual.

I guess the show's greatest merit this time was approaching the theme of the hunt for cursed objects with originality. And at the same time, it gave me a chance to compare and realize where Warehouse 13 (2009) worked and where The Middleman didn't.

For anybody who doesn't know, Warehouse 13 is a cute family-friendly show about, well, hunting cursed objects known as "artifacts." But the greatest differences are that the agents in Warehouse 13 don't have much of a personal life, so the show goes straight to the core of the story and doesn't waste time with hipsters, starving artists, foolish activists, irritating hippies and other annoying distractions.

And when Warehouse 13 adds a little drama, it sounds honest and sincere, and even if we knew things are going to turn out just fine in the end, the stakes seem to be high at some point. And we know who is above the agents in Warehouse 13: they have a superior who knows more than they do, and they have the Regents, who are above and have their limitations as well. Overall it's a better organized show with more consistent writing and which, deservingly, just ended season 4.

GRADE

An honest improvement and a glimmer of hope, just to be shattered in the end, plus some of the usual problems. I never thought I'd go so high with my grades, but this one gets solid 7 romantic moments with Randolph Scott.

COUNTDOWN

One more under my belt! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Yay!


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
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12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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Suspension of Disbelief too far:
A tuba with a string quartet? Actually, the "only musical instrument to survive the sinking of Titanic" might have flown if I hadn't first seen it just a few months after I got to tease a Titanic buff coworker about the bandleader's violin going up for auction for more than the cost of his house. (Was found in its case tied to its owner's body floating in the ocean.)

The guy was so calm about the feds waiting for him back at port for the theft of an artifact that by then was lost in Davey Jones' Locker (or in this case perhaps just Mickey Dolenz's Locker) while no mention is made of Dubby harpooning a man in front of a crowd of witnesses. Not to mention the question of why a luxury liner would be equipped with a harpoon gun in the first place.

Cameron Shy:
When going on about the backstory of the tuba, the Titanic disaster "just like in the movie" was illustrated with clips from an older, film noir Titanic movie. But then back in the illegal sublet, Lacey is clearly talking about James Cameron's movie because when she mentions "that song" and Wendy cuts her off after two notes, whatever you call that vocalization she did was the first two notes of the Celine Dion song from James Cameron's Titanic with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.

Other homages to the Cameron film include the way in which MM & Dubby were handcuffed to the pipes, just like Jack Dawson, Dubbie hanging off the ship in need of MM to rescue her, the whole Ax-rescue bit with everyone assuming Lacey to be enough of a dingbat to actually try it.

Maybe or maybe not here, but Dr. Barbara Thornfield MD PhD must be one of those rich absentee parents who try to compensate by showering their offspring with material stuff. Get a load of that rock Lacey wore on her necklace. Not quite the Heart of The Ocean, but close enough to be an homage. Even a cubic zirconium that size would be well beyond my working class price range. Had she gone in the drink with that thing on she'd've gone straight to the bottom.

/specific topics

I really wanted to see MM & Lacey hook up. The lame way they denied us that at the end really sucked.

The gag of Dubby's screams for help exactly coinciding with the ship's horn was a little too old hat, but great job of overcoming that.

Man oh man I could watch Wendy run in that dress all day.

I really don't blame her for trusting Lacey for a hairdo ahead of Ida Scissorhand. I would, too.

Noser almost had my sympathy for getting so close to mooching lobster only to get called away from the table before he could even crack a claw. Also got in the risque zinger for "Couldn't we just use the ax?" instead of putting his hand into MM's front pants pocket for the universal key. I had to catch that one on my second viewing as the first time I was assuming that Lacey got that honor.

"Sweet Molly Brown!" has to be my favorite colorful MM expletive so far in this series.

Good to see Roxy back, and in a somewhat more antagonistic relationship with O2STK. Man, that bust in the jaw was wrong, even if she was a demon instead of the pretty lady she appeared to be. Good on her for popping him back once everything was ironed out between them. I got an even bigger smile at that than Dubby did.

This one falls in at a solid 8 missing mouthpieces.

___________

I'd've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids.

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I could say this one started out slow, but only for a minute or two. Once we discovered that Lacey was stalking MM, things moved at a steady pace and didn’t let up. The storyline held my interest all the way through. The concept of the tuba cursed because the band member used it to escape the sinking Titanic by wrapping it up and pretending it was his three year old son was just silly enough to work. Then add to it that the cursed tuba player finds he likes immortality, so he strives to keep the instrument locked away – until two thieves steal it and spoil his plan. So it’s crash the ocean liner cruise party and stop the tuba from playing because whoever hears the song will “drown in the icy waters of the North Atlantic.” Meanwhile, Lacy and Noser crash the party as well and end up taking part in the caper without ever realizing the truth behind it.

Nice use of Elaine Hendrix’s succubus character again. Lacey was looking hot tonight, and Elaine was pretty smoking herself. Liked how she punched MM before he left after he had started by punching her. MM then gave a look like – yeah, I had that coming. A small part for Elaine tonight – wonder it she was to be a recurring character. Moot point now.

Didn’t like the whole scene where MM seemed to have an almost gay attraction to phony CSI Rogers. I’m sure he was supposed to be impressed by his deductive skills, but still… I loathe the term “bromance” because it sounds like a gay love affair but here the expression seemed appropriate. Fortunately, that plot point slipped off the radar right after Rogers did.

Enjoyed Lacey’s involvement in the whole episode, from trying to romance MM to rescuing the pair who are handcuffed to the pipes a la TITANIC. Loved that Lacey loved the movie and the song while Wendy hated both – seemed to fit their characters. And the final scene where Lacey and MM realize they can’t be together was downright – poignant.

Best Lines: “Could you cut the bromance? This crime is gross enough already.” “God, am I underpaid” “I’ve got a hit.” “It’s waterproof, shockproof and grafted to my skin. Really? Might as well be.” ”OMGLOLROTFLMAOWTF. I finally got a tuba.” “Mister Rogers!” “So basically you’re HIGHLANDER with a tuba.” “ASCAP! Oh, the shrimp guys.” “One coffee and milk hold the coffer for you, and one coffee and milk hold the milk for me.” “It’s three feet longer than the Queen Mary and 86 feet longer than the Titanic.” “So I get to lose Hitler’s smoking jacket and do a mission in a real dress?” “I’ll do your hair, Cinderella. And when it’s done it’ll be just like mine.” “Never argue with the person holding the curling iron.” “I forget. What’s my part of throwing stones? The counting.” “Stop that woman. She’s got my tuba.” “Oh why couldn’t it have been a piccolo?”

We had two guest characters with double initials, so there was an AA, JJ, MM, and WW.

Glad these episodes were originally shown in order – multi references to prior shows, from the smoking jacket line to the “Barbara Thornhill, M.D. PhD” bit. Surprised they didn’t mention Ida’s “death” last week.

Cruelty-free vegan candy. Of course there’s no meat in chocolate or sugar, or ways to torture animals to make candy – but that’s the whole joke. (Bet it tastes like crap, too.)

A little disappointed that after Lacey does Wendy’s hair, it just looks the same as it always does. Again, I guess that’s the joke.

The “three feet longer etc.” line was used just the right amount of times. Overkill, though, on the “in the icy waters of the North Atlantic.”

Puzzled about Mendelsohn’s motive. I can see him having the party to show off his tuba recovered from the Titanic. But it turn out he knows about the curse, but just seems to blow it off. Would have been better for him to say something like: “All the other Titanic collectors will be here tonight. That tuba will polish them all off, and then I can have the whole damn ship to myself.” At least Cecil’s motive for being there made sense. Good gag about Wendy’s screams matching the ship’s horn every time, or her finally taking Rogers out with the harpoon. Way to take charge! Only drawback: the scene of him falling and hitting the water was mega-sloppy.

Didn’t get the whole RIDE LONESOME connection. I looked it up and it is a genuine Western and considered a cult classic. But not knowing the background of the movie didn’t wreck the episode – the references were still generic enough to work.

To make sure I got all the quotes right, I actually watched the episode a second time. Still held up well. So I’m giving it 9 lovely ladies or a solid A. Great start to a new year.

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In what universe does "she's your roommate, I'm your boss" make a lick of sense among adults? It sounded like Lacey was Wendy's mother and Wendy was a jealous 10-year-old. (Madp)

I took it as meaning Lacey is connected to Wendy and Wendy to him. That puts her on the borderline of being involved in dangerous situations. Getting any closer to her would put her in the front lines. Wendy also responded that under any other circumstances, she'd be happy to see them together.

For anybody who doesn't know, Warehouse 13 is a cute family-friendly show about, well, hunting cursed objects known as "artifacts." But the greatest differences are that the agents in Warehouse 13 don't have much of a personal life, so the show goes straight to the core of the story and doesn't waste time with hipsters, starving artists, foolish activists, irritating hippies and other annoying distractions.

And when Warehouse 13 adds a little drama, it sounds honest and sincere, and even if we knew things are going to turn out just fine in the end, the stakes seem to be high at some point. And we know who is above the agents in Warehouse 13: they have a superior who knows more than they do, and they have the Regents, who are above and have their limitations as well. Overall it's a better organized show with more consistent writing and which, deservingly, just ended season 4. (madp)

Well said. I love that show. I originally checked it out because it sounded reminiscent of FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES, which I also enjoyed. But W13 was its own unique show, and fun and exciting to watch. It's coming back for another season, but sadly only for 6 shows to finish its run. If they do a W13-The whole series DVD offer, I might just buy it and watch all the episodes one more time.

...while no mention is made of Dubby harpooning a man in front of a crowd of witnesses. Not to mention the question of why a luxury liner would be equipped with a harpoon gun in the first place.," (Bob 402-252005)

Wendy and MM had run quite a distance and were outside near the ship's railing. So there weren't any witnesses to see her harpoon the guy. Note how no one stepped forward to help Wendy when she was hanging from the railing except MM.

As to the harpoon, maybe Mendlesohn installed it in case of Somali pirate attacks or if a school of whales got too close.

Funny, but I've never associated "bromance" with "gay". The way I see the word used, it should mean two men have just about everything in common, a great connection EXCEPT that it's totally hetero. (madp)

Actually, the word is most often used in the context of which you speak. It just sounds gay to me and the "romance" portion of the word makes me think of love and sex. So a word often used to describe a close but non-sexual relationship between two men still sounds like a gay term to me. Just my own personal interpretation, I guess.

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On an unrelated side note: am I the only one who until watching the ep read "tuba" and thought it meant a sousaphone instead?

___________

I'd've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids.

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ah yes the cursed tuba...one of my favorites. I found quite a bit of humor in this. laughed most of the way through.
Loved the cursed tuba guy and his total lack of remorse for his action's on the TT. He has been the best villain so far. did I mention how good the dating has been?
My favorite line. The band on the TT was a quartet, it was after I ran
away.
The whole notion that the pressure from the bay would crush the tuba is a little far fetched but i'll let it go.
the love between MM and Lacey heats up but alas can never be...there are some things a man cannot ride around.
So my question is....WW jealous of Lacey or concerned? women do tend to bare their claws whenever two are together and a cute guy is present.
We also get another succubus sighting though this seems to be thrown in just kill some time in the episode....still good stuff though.

All in all very good. I'll give this one 8 mouth pieces on the MM scale

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- In reality, the writers were just teasing us. - The writers were not interested in developing the characters' relations and throwing them at new situations for character growth. They were just teasing us with a possibility and killed it at the first chance. The Middleman is not a show about sweet innocent romance like Pushing Daisies. Its humor is too much anarchic for that. And a romance between MM and Lacey would make Lacey a more prominent character (and in fact I think she would make an interesting alternative for female lead). Wendy is the writer's choice for female lead, and the possible romance between MM and Lacey only existed as far as it affected Wendy. (madp)

Your thoughts reminded me of a couple of situations in the past where I felt similar to what you felt here:

GREEN ACRES – there were some peripheral characters in the show – a county agent named Hank Kimball and a lady carpenter named Ralph Monroe. She would often try to flirt with him, but he was either clueless or scared off. One episode, amazingly, started with the two of them getting married. They went off on their honeymoon, only to find out that the justice of the peace that married them had an expired license. Conveniently, it happened before they had a chance to sleep together. At the end of the episode, Lisa told her don’t worry – they’d have another wedding later on. But it never happened – they just went back to her flirting and him ignoring her. That always ticked me off afterward as I thought they had made a cute couple and afterward all I could feel for them was sorry.

SUPERMAN II – in the movie, Lois Lane found out Clark Kent was Superman and she told him that she was in love with him. He flew her off to his Fortress of Solitude and gave up his powers to be with her. (It was never explained how he got her back to Metropolis from his Arctic location without being able to fly anymore, but that’s another issue.) It soon turned out Clark was just a wimp without his powers, and he forged his way back to the fortress and got his powers back. At the end of the movie, he just touched Lois on the forehead and she forgot all about his secret identity or them ever being together. I wasn’t even aware that’s what had happened until I read some fans’ comments about the movie – an Instant Amnesia Touch was never part of Superman’s reticule as far as I knew. I felt rather cheated by the whole movie – it just meant things were the way they were and couldn’t really change.

I might as well toss in BONES here as well. One character named Sweets had a girl named Daisy who was crazy about him and vice versa. They got engaged, but then she went off on an extended expedition abroad and he felt she had chosen that over him and broke off the engagement. She had returned and he was thinking about proposing again. He went to get advice from Sealy, the character whose past romantic history had consisted on knocking a girl up and then not marrying her - not someone I’d seek advice from myself. Sweets in the discussion managed to talk himself out of proposing, but from the talk, Sealy decided to propose to his then girl friend. He bought a ring and proposed to her and she said, (I kid you not.) “Sorry, I’m just not the marrying kind.” Afterward, he promptly hurled his ring into the Potomac. I didn’t feel cheated by this whole sequence of events; I was just disgusted by how ludicrous the whole scenario was.

Anyway, I did not feel cheated by the way the whole Lacey/MM was handled here. Yes, this is certainly not a sweet romantic comedy and exists only on the barest periphery of reality. Here, I accept that they had to acknowledge the fact that they’d established that Lacey found MM attractive so this is how they dealt with it: they almost get together, but realize it can’t ever be. I was okay with that, but I can certainly see and understand why other people would not be.

Going off topic, last night in church, our priest suggested we should learn something new every day. Thanks to you guys, I have learned the difference between a tuba and a sousaphone – very entertaining. I’ll pass along the information he gave us last night – a sneeze averages 100 mph, and a cough averages 65 mph. See you next Friday.

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This Friday ep 7: “The Cursed Tuba Contingency”

I have nothing against this show except I just don’t really care for it. While watching the great Tuba case I feel like I’m digging a hole I can’t get out of and each week as it goes by it just keeps getting deeper as I dig into it. It has his moments Lacy chasing the Middleman and almost catching him. But what happens the middleman turns her down must say he’s a better man then me. Again their is nothing wrong with the show it’s just not my cup of tea. As Agent Stone has pointed out it generates more posts then any show we have watched lately. Oh well I will keep watching hoping they will get better. Noticed Agent Scully is going to be back on the tube in the States. I was hoping she would do one more season of the Falls airing on the BBC but it’s unlikely to take place now. For those hanging out in the great North stay warm it brutally cold up there. Texting the kids up North when the temps are below zero (F) that’s just crazy.

Global Warming is taking over.

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