MovieChat Forums > Crank: High Voltage (2009) Discussion > Utter Crap

Utter Crap

posted 14 years ago by Dissector
32 replies | jump to latest

If this is the level Jason Statham has sunk to, I won't bother waiting to see his future output. this is a misguided Soft Porn romp, that misses on two counts.

If it was supposed to be a turn on sexually ... pay for an authentic XXX porno, and IF it is trying to be funny ... it misses by a mile, the later Carry-On's were better, and they were utter *beep*

In fact `On the Buses` was funnier and sexier.
I can't think of a worse insult ................ `Can You?`

If you don't ask Questions ... You don't get Answers!

[–] AlienByChoice 14 years ago

Let's see... Crank HV was fast paced, very violent, plenty of nudity, and openly ridiculing those who take these kind of movies seriously (Dissector) by spoofing everything from Godzilla to Tarantino. Loved it.

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Hello, Ground!

[–] Dissector 14 years ago

Hi ABC

Yes I `get` the idea ... but it was SO Badly conceived and executed ... that it just flopped all around ... it was too self conscious of itself, and what it was trying to achieve.

I like all of JSs film thus far!

but CHV would probably appeal only to TeleTubbies fans! (AlienByChoice) 'o)

If you don't ask Questions ... You don't get Answers!

[–] AlienByChoice 14 years ago

"it was too self conscious of itself, and what it was trying to achieve"
Agree, but that's a far cry from "Utter crap" :)

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Hello, Ground!

[–] wolf359locutus 14 years ago

This has got to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life! Was on a cruise ship and this was one of the movies playing in the room. OMG!!! CRAP!!!

However, I did finish watching the movie. I still don't know why???

Kind of like seeing an accident on the highway, I just couldn't turn away. I had to see it through to the end.

Which was utter crap!

[–] garbage_day1987 14 years ago

i thought it was completely awesome. 100% energy and excitement on meth.

[–] HugsFromLV426 14 years ago

I'm not sure I could call Crank 2 a "good" movie in the standard sense, but I really enjoyed watching it. Just don't feel that your intelligence is being insulted by any level of absurdity and you will enjoy the experience.

[–] gb901 14 years ago

I must agree this film is utter, utter crap!

[–] jaworski-matthew 10 years ago

If this is one of the worst movies you have ever seen, I feel so sorry for you.

To me this indicates that you have a terrible sense of humor, aren't much fun to be around, and you haven't seen very many movies.

[–] chilone (17262) 3 years ago

I totally agree.

[–] ryansloan-1 14 years ago

If you have a good sense of humour and want to be entertained watch this movie.If you have got no sense of humour and take things to serious dont watch this movie SIMPLE!!!!

[–] Dissector 14 years ago

OK ... for all you guys that say `Crank - High Voltage` is so good,
check `Box-Office and Business` on the imDb page ... the original `Crank` which I thought was very good, and is the reason I wanted to see High Voltage, made it's production costs back in the first Weekend, this CRAP ... `High Voltage` still hasn't recuperated it's costs yet 3 months down the line, it might just about break even after it gets released on DVD. ... given that the original more than trebled it's costs after a couple of months in the cinema alone, without the DVD being taken into account ... C-HV doesn't come anywhere close, which in my books, makes it a flop.

AND still unfunny. you guys that still say it's funny ...
don't worry, you'll `Grow-Up` ... `Eventually`.

If you don't ask Questions ... You don't get Answers!

[–] Tanchalum 14 years ago

Ha, I am a waaaaaaay bigger movie snob than you and I liked both Crank movies. You really didn't find these movies fun and funny? Have you not seen many movies? Cause these are way better than most badly made action movies of the last decade. I can def tell that you are one of those people who thinks he has a good sense of humor but really doesn't and no one close to you will tell you.

What does box office have to do with the quality of the actual film? Nothing? Less than nothing?

[–] Dissector 14 years ago

Yeah! ..... of course you are, I did say that I liked the original `Crank` thats why I wanted to see C2. I've seen hundreds of thousands of movies, and I obviously don't have a sense of humour, because I don't appreciate the same films as YOU. and you're right, that no-one has told me that I haven't got a sense of humour.

I was only comparing the Box-Office of the 2 Crank films, and that the people that went to see the first, probably read the reviews of the second, and stayed away!

If you don't ask Questions ... You don't get Answers!

[–] willingdruid 14 years ago

Here is a tip, never watch a TROMA movie (this is basically a well made, big budget troma film).

anyway... I liked Crank 2 a lot, it had the energy of Tetsuo with the humor and over the top nature of a troma film.

[–] livingdead1414 14 years ago

The very fact that you judge a film by the money it made pretty much trivializes your other points. That's basically saying a movie is only good if a lot of people like it. It's just untrue.

Unfunny? Subjective.
Also, it seems you think that anyone that finds this film funny is immature. Just plain wrong again. There are different types of humor, just like kinds of food or music. You either appreciate it or don't.

[–] Dissector 14 years ago

I didn't judge the film by the money ... but money is a guide to Bums on seats. and a LOT of people that saw the original film obviously didn't flock to see `C2`

the comment about immature was in response to someone calling me a Moron!
NOT everyone that likes the film, I know full well that not everyone likes the same things, and I gave my opinion of what `I saw`!! ... and `I thought` it was VERY badly done and could've been much better. it wasn't up to Jason Stathams previous work, and I've enjoyed all his films thus far, but we're all allowed an off day!

If you don't ask Questions ... You don't get Answers!

[–] ilon 12 years ago

Emmmmmmm....

Many of the greatest movies of all time flopped.

Many of the worst movies of all time made millions.

[–] ilon 12 years ago

BTW... CHV made it's money back... and had a pretty slow release woldwide.

This is a cult film for the future, I think.

[–] Sgt_Barney_Ross 14 years ago

Cry more please I need to take a shower soon and need more water.

T H E__E X P E N D A B L E S
August 2010
Stallone,Li,Statham,Lundgren

[–] Dissector 14 years ago

Film it ... it'll get more laughs than `Crank 2`

If you don't ask Questions ... You don't get Answers!

[–] cheesymacaroni444 14 years ago

Barney cant afford his bills, or I should say his mom cant afford the bills so the water was shut off, so he needs to shower in something.

Pretty Sally Mae died a very unnatural death... but the worst hasn't happened to her yet!

[–] donnie_alb 14 years ago

I concorde this was a Major let down, especially after being a big fan of the original and clever Crank. This was unnecessarily taken to an extreme. Just as the final shock/burning scene shows it.
The nipple scene I coulnd't stomach..

[–] email-etude 14 years ago

Pretty disappointed here as well. I generally like JS movies but this one was just irritating.

[–] mettallmk 12 years ago

I really liked the movie, but it's basically the same thing as the first, all over again.
Although a little more nasty in parts, which is cooler.

IMDB - Internet Moronic Database

[–] ilon 12 years ago

It is made by clasic sequel paterns, which is not bad by definition.

[–] bizzniss 11 years ago

Yea it was pretty horrible and racist for no reason. Just like the first one.

[–] dan-willi84 11 years ago

Crank 2: High Voltage is one of *the* worst films ever made.

[–] Evolution-X 11 years ago

Maybe to you, but it's one of my favorite movies, and I can totally admit how "out there" it is.

All I need is one mic...

[–] Mellow-Fellow 10 years ago

You should punch yourself in the face, because he beats up a few black guys in the first one its racist?... Pardon me, beats up a few African Americans. What a joke. I hope in the time since your post you have had a chance to dismount your high horse and put it to rest

[–] bizzniss 9 years ago

I was actually talking about the over the top Asian woman. The mere fact that you just went on this Black people rant just highlighted your hatred of them. LMAO! You CLEARLY have issues.

[–] mozillameister 11 years ago

So something like Crank 2 gets you riled up in protest over its overuse of sexuality...yet Tarantino can do the same schtick and called amazing and artsy? Seriously?

Look, Crank 2 is a B movie. Probably one of the few besides Tarantino films nowadays. It was ridiculous and over-the-top, and honestly downright hilarious. Its fine if you don't get it.

EXTREME FULL BODY TOURRETS!!!

[–] parbon84 9 years ago

How do you rate "funnier" as an objective term? Are you the lord of comedy?

Why are you so miserable?