1000 things we learned from watching 1000 ways to die
#1 Never eat plants they may be poisonous and could kill you
#2 If you need to puke while driving pull over
#3 Even fat women can kill you
#4 gum and red phosphorus don't mix
#5 on new years eve, when the clock strikes 12, duck!
#6 when you drink, the best thing to do is fall into bed. just be sure the fall isn't too high, and the bed isn't going 60 miles an hour.
You don't watch Michael Bay movies. They happen to you.
7 - if you're an adult act like an adult, not a baby
8 - someone vomitting on you can kill you
#9 - Don't sleep on the job (or try not to)
#10 - There's always a price to pay with being Peeping Tom
#11 - And being a stuck up,rich scumbag too
#12 - Go to some anger management classes
#13 - Drugs and alcohol only led to trouble
#14 - Practice your fetishes safely
#15 - Respect nature,because she's a bitch.
#16 - Drained pools are only good for skateboarding, not druggies
#17 - Respect animal life
#18 - Common sense is not so common these days
#19 - Karma's a bitch
I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of dumb people. - Sophia from "Kid Nation"
#20 - Mel Gibson will die in a hot tub when it sucks out his insides through his ass.
share#21. Never have sex in the top bunk with your roommate in the bottom bunk.
#22. If you're hunting for turtles/tortoises to sell on the black market, wear a helmet.
#23. Before trying to deep-throat a long balloon, take some antacid.