MovieChat Forums > The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior (2008) Discussion > 100 things i learned from Scorpion King ...

100 things i learned from Scorpion King 2

posted 16 years ago by Supaman1
35 replies | jump to latest

Here's a start...

1. Whites comprise much of the civilization b/w the Euphrates and Tigris rivers rather than Arabs/Persians

2. Badly cauliflowered ears can actually have super hearing powers.

3. if oil is engulfed w/ fire, then kick dirt on it

4. a handful of dirt can extinguish flaming oil

5. extinguishing the flames on the wall will stop the flaming oil from spreading on the ground

6. an indian girl can clearly communicate w/ a Chinese person (who only speaks Chinese) by speaking English

7. Don't trust a Greek

8. Randy Couture forgot that he should never trust a Greek

9. a Chinese acrobat can catch a flaming arrow and then chuck it back at the archer w/ pinpoint accuracy

10. the same aforementioned acrobat can throw the arrow w/ more force than the archer can who used a bow

11. All Chinese guys are superbly proficient in martial arts

12. Randy Couture uses black magic

13. to kill a black magic scorpion, lay on your back and hold out your sword and wait for the scorpion to force itself onto the sword, then curl back up and die

14. Despite knowing black magic, Randy Couture doesn't see that the Greek had no intention of serving him

15. A girl can be just as talented a swordsman as a man

16. that same girl can also kill a bunch of Black Scorpions despite never receiving elite formal training

17. Young Rock is actually half-filipino

18. Kings practice MMA w/ their bodyguards

19. Each time a King's bodyguard kills someone, they have to scar their own face

20. Despite coming out 26 years after Conan the Barbarian... the CGI and special effects have actually regressed and the acting makes Arnold look like Al Pacino

[–] TheTitan101 16 years ago

21. Michael Copon is no 'The Rock'

"What do you do when you spill carpet cleaner?"

[–] darkenergymusic 16 years ago

22. In the Scorpion King world all ancient civilizations exist in the same timeframe.
23. Every citizen wears middle-ages clothing.
24. The main city of Arcadia is located in the middle of the desert without any water supplies or fields.

[–] Supaman1 16 years ago

25. if you try to grab jewels in the Underworld, you will die

[–] steelgaze 16 years ago

Rubbing dirt on your face is not a good disguise as a dead person.

Despite how many times you lie to an chinese guy, he will always follow you, and eventually setup a store in your town.

The King's palace is best placed right in front of the city gates.

Randy Couture keeps a replica Sword of Damocles on his table.

Lady Astarte, having the power to levitate people and other godly powers, lets mortals flee from her sanctum with her prized relic to only have some stupid mortal proxy to reclaim it.

[–] marianablackberry 16 years ago

31. Turns out you actually don't need a ball of string to find your way back through a labyrinth.
32. A white woman and an arab/persian[[maybe even latin...]] man can produce a half Filipino warrior.
33. Monsters in the Underworld bear strange resemblance to the aliens in Alien.
34. Underworld goddesses can change their clothes using magic ribbons.
35. In the Underworld, huge forests can materialize in a matter of seconds.
36. Minotaurs actually look like reptiles with bull heads.

"Is it ever appropriate for a man to give another man a pickle?" - BB
<3Viva La Revolution

[–] ZachBonnell 16 years ago

37. I haven't seen, neither do I plan on seeing,The Scorpion King 2.

[–] Skimjim180 16 years ago

38. Poets will get pissed if you call them scribes.
39. If someone is trying to kill you because you told them there would be vast treasure, point them to a single ring and they will leave you alone.
40. Akkadien women never shut the hell up.
41. If you aew hired as the kings bodygaurd, he will let you have sex with most of his concubines.
42. Your mother services water buffalo.

Wear the eye patch, Bret. Wear the funky funky eyepatch..

[–] Gambi1986 16 years ago

43. If somebody tells you that Underworld is a shortcut to China then you should consider it twice.

44. That women sooner or later think of marriage.

45. That Minotaur was killed by Mathayus and not Theseus...

46. That Chinese people are cully..

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth"

[–] thedigitalnomad 16 years ago

47. King Hammurabi was overthrown by Sargon, rather than having ruled Babylonia 600 years after Sargon conquered Sumer.

[–] muj91 16 years ago

48. The only part of the palace that is visible is the front doors.
49. An actor who has once played a part in the power rangers should never act again.

[–] aqza25 16 years ago

48. Accadians are not funny people. They try to be, but they are not.
49. Prisoners learn english very fast. One second they dont understand it, the other second they do.
50. Playing on a flute will distract a minotaur long enough for you to kill it. Even if you scream as you run towards it.
51. Even if you dont look like your father, people who are in debt to him will recognise you as his son.
52. Everywhere you go, you will find people in debt to your father.

Starscream : " Megatron ? Is that you ? "
Galvatron " Here's a hint. "
( Pulverises Starscream )

[–] hexrei 16 years ago

I really have to disagree about the acting. Arnold's performance was no better than Randy's.

[–] j-gravare 16 years ago

this is the movie of the year!

[–] david.widlake 16 years ago

52. Russell Mulcahy is the new Uwe Boll (and we had such high hopes for Russell after his Duran Duran videos and Highlander)

53. Karen David is HOT and is perhaps the only reason to watch the whole film.

54. If you hated this make sure to watch The Lost Boys 2 - The Tribe for another awful sequel to a much loved earlier film

[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] chriszad 16 years ago

60. If your enemy is invisible just throw a vase at him.

[–] mothepro 16 years ago

61. The best MMA fighters in the world still earn less than trashy actors in the worst produced films in history.

62. If you are a queen of power, you must have a deep voice, foul breath, be able to hover around pathetically for over 10 minutes whilst whispering utter crap in an increasingly obscene transsexual manner into the ears of, well, anyone who can bear to be near you.

63. If you are a queen of power, and have the power to dangle your opponent in the air by a mere point of the finger, don't. Instead, proceed to sword-fight like a mortal bitch and be totally unaware of the other man sneeking behind your back to snatch a sword from you.

64. If you are a queen of power, you must talk slowly, real slow. So slow in fact, that you ensure all viewers have dissapeared for a coffee and cake only to return to the next scene when, supposedly something else is supposed to happen.

65. If you intend to carry out a mass murder, you must ensure you stand close enough to those you intend to kill, make it clear to them how you intend to kill them, provide them with sufficient time and resources to activate a counter plan to stop you killing them and then proceed to die pathetially yourself in one of the most shamefully depressing manners in history.

[–] bisaya-1 16 years ago

66. Karen David can be hot. More exposure and more skin will prove the worth of watching this babe.

67. Natalie Becker (Astarte/Asarte?) looks like Tera Patrick.

68. Michael Copon needs more theater training.

69. Director Mulcahy is sinking like he has had a sore deal with the executive producers and gotten back at them with this lousy outcome of a movie.

---
You are a piece of Spoiler!

[–] black_hawk_avenger 16 years ago

70. The King's veteran elite personal guard can be taken out by a new single Black Scorpion and his untrained brother.

71. If you're a evil Underworld goddess; to make you look menacing the camera must show a close up of your face, shine a bright light on it, and have an evil sounding voice.

72. The Underworld shortcut to China sucks.

73. After watching this, the original Scorpion King movie is a masterpiece.

74. The main bad guy will eventually turn into some horrible CGI-made insect based on the movie's title.

75. If you hire a UFC fighter, there will be a scene to show his array of UFC moves on someone.

[–] aqza25 16 years ago

76. Even though tea was discovered 1000BC, the Accadians knew of it. As Mathayus mentiones " a cup of tea" at the end.
( This movie is supposed to be 4000 BC )

Starscream : " Megatron ? Is that you ? "
Galvatron " Here's a hint. "
( Pulverises Starscream )

[–] sball36 15 years ago

77. If I don't want to marry my arranged fiance, I can run away, steal my dowry, and return back to my village as if it were no big deal.
78. If I have a serious leg wound, if my boyfriend tells me it will be okay, I will miraculously heal and be able to run and have a hand to hand combat with no ill effects
79. If I want to be the most powerful king, I must first kill all my subjects.

[–] ak6702 15 years ago

80.This was at least better then Highlanders last movie and Pulse 2.
81.Oh it's also better than Higlander 2.
82.A former Power Ranger can beat a U.F.C Champ.
83.Getting branded by hot branding iron leaves no smoke.
84.All hot warrior chicks wear Xena outfits.
85.The Rock skipped this for Doom?
86.lets hope Uwi dosn't do the next one.

[–] gilliansl 15 years ago

87. Giant magickal scorpions, once impaled on a magickal sword, do not thrash about and try to sting their killer.
88. Tom Wu is HOT!
89. The fewer clothes good-looking Philipino men wear, the better.
90. Skimpy women's clothing in Hollywood defy all the laws of physics. (and ye canna change the laws of physics!)
91. Magickal scorpion venom really sticks to your ribs!
92. The minotaur was actually scary because he was all gooshy and raw looking.
93. If you're enough of an acrobat, and have the aid of a bumbling Greek poet, you can catch a magically spinning sword without losing a hand or even getting a cut.
94. Josh Whedon had it correct. All uses of black magick get solid black eyes when working a spell, or getting pissed off.

GSL

[–] iusetobekool 15 years ago

95. I thought The Rock cant act but I was wrong after watching this POS.

[–] ranhill 15 years ago

96. The hero Mathayus is gay having spurned the overt and erotic advances from the goddess of love(and war.) Then high tailed it out of town on a camel when Layla, the other hot babe, makes it known she now wants to make love and not war. Layla, her name says it all...

97. multiple slow motion cuts do not make a scene more dramatc.

98. There was a housing/foreclosure crises as the city was a massive, sprawling, multi layered metropolis, but at King mandated events such as communal civic sacrificial lock-in gatherings, only a few hundred people show up.

98. Horses are better at the beginning of an adventure. Camels are better at the end.

[–] ranhill 15 years ago

99. It don't take a lot of money to make a really bad movie.

[–] Oceans300 15 years ago

100. Tickets in ancient times were made of wood

[–] holistic-3 15 years ago

Sorry guys, but I've got to add another couple...

101. The word 'Jerk' was coined over 6000 years ago in in this fair land
102. Scandanavian blondes appeared to go long distances for their summer holidays back then... (vikings perhaps? - opps - before their time!)

[–] Naldoman 14 years ago

103. After killing the king's guards, you can talk about it openly anywhere in the land, without hiding you identity.

104. When your brother is killed the day after you graduate, old friends won't ask "How's your brother?" when seeing you outside the city you are supposed to be protecting.

105. Don't stare people in the eye. Don't take their jewelry. Don't stay more than an hour. Don't make out with old broads with no legs.
== sounds like the rules posted at a retirement home ==

[–] qwerty619 12 years ago

108. Pyramids were built, then the brains of all the people of the world was erased, then the pyramids vanished, then they built it again!!

In the first movie, the narrator says "Long before the pyramids were built..." But Mathayus plans to travel to see the pyramids in this movie!! His and the world's memory must have been doctored between the two movies!!

[–] graysonwc 13 years ago

106. This movie sucks.

[–] Dream_Demon 13 years ago

107. This movie is mediocre and fails at being entertaining.

Welcome to my Nightmare- Freddy Krueger

[–] ZleFox 12 years ago

108. When you have no money for special effects, just make the monsters invisible :)

[–] Infestissumam 11 years ago

109. From Dusk Till Dawn II wasn't so bad after all, compared to this *beep*

[–] seekingallthetime 10 years ago

110. People can spent money on this *beep* ah!