My review

As reported earlier, German TV channel Sat1 has been working on a German version of The IT Crowd named Das iTeam - Die Jungs an der Maus. The first episode is due next Friday evening.

Sat1's web team was a little too slow at first, setting up a sub page for the "new" show but forgot to make any of the buttons work. Now they've been a little too fast and put up the entire first episode for watching online. Which means that there will be reviews online before the show even airs. ... mostly bad reviews. (I'm psychic!)

Now if Das iTeam was a new TV programme inspired by The IT Crowd, I suppose it would be a bit unfair to compare the two shows... but as it is actually a re-play of the same show, we'll do just that!

Intro: Same music, different pictures. No retro pixel graphics, rather mugshots of the main cast. Not very exciting but not gruesome either just yet. Gabriel (aka Moss) is shown with a metal detector (at first I thought he was vaccuum cleaning the office), and Tom (aka Roy) is seen playing with a computer mouse mobile which is new, geeky and adorable. Hey, for the record, I said something positive!

Episode title: "Brötchen vom Vortag" - yesterday's breadrolls. This doesn't really work as a translation (or adaptation) since yesterday's breadrolls basically are... crap.

First scene: As even Graham Linehan pointed out in his own blog, they managed to *beep* up the first joke by getting the camera angle wrong. What bothers me even more is that the camera movement seems way too slow. Seven or eight seconds in the original version, twelve (!) in this one! I didn't plan to go into that kind of detail with this review, but this just struck me so hard as "not working... not working at all".

Sky Dumont playing concern director Bornholm (aka Denholm) comes across as one big softie. The boss seems quite pitiful rather than scary at all. I'll mention at this point that I've had a peek at the picture gallery on Sat 1's website and saw Bornholm wearing a Kimono in episode two. Thankfully, I got it wrong - he isn't wearing it during the speech about WAR on STRESS but the merger scene. I'm pretty sure the war scene will be *beep* up anyway...

Britta Horn as Sandy (aka Jen) seems ok to me, albeit lacking Katherine Parkinson's charisma and bold, outgoing acting. Yes, I like her overacting and I think the German Jen is a bit bland. But maybe I'm just a grinch? At least she isn't outright horrible.

I'm quite sad that Bornholm describes the IT people as "one hell of a team" instead of STANDARD NERDS. Other than that, the dialogue is largely the same, sometimes translated word by word, sometimes adding half a line or leaving half a line out. I'll only mention it when I think it makes a real change (other than just "being less funny than the original" which seems to apply to most lines).

As soon as the basement scenes start, you can't help but notice the blueish, greyish tint of... everything. It creates a very cold athmosphere for the IT department office. I'm sorry, this is just a bit... too soviet for me! (And this means that a certain joke of a certain series two episode cannot work anymore! It's hardly possible to create a setting even... more soviet than this.) There's hardly any colour in the office room, some robots but all in all too few toys, no posters, very few stickers, not too much there for us geeks to relate to. I don't actually think I'd mind the concrete wall and the "bunker feeling" to much if the cast could make up for it with shining performance. It's just, they don't shine.

Tom's/Roy's first scene (shoe woman from the past is on the phone, right?) is okay. He is wearing the RTFM shirt, so far so good! Somehow he reminds me of my ex boyfriend. If this is good or bad I don't know. The writers manage to squeeze in an additional joke: "yes... just push the button. ... Okay, let's start at the very beginning: Do you have fingers?" The implication in the end that he was talking to a woman ("That told her!") is missing for no apparent reason.

Gabriel's/Maurice's first scene, too. This moment did really disappoint me. From pictures, I was mislead to believe that the German (and caucasian - but that's ok, Tom isn't Irish either...) version of Moss could work. Two things get in the way of that: firstly, the actor (Stefan Puntigam) isn't doing a very good impression. He over-pronounces everything, and this gives his scenes the athmosphere of a highschool play, and also over-acts horribly. Secondly, the writers turned his techno babble (about another thread jumping in there and doing its stuff) into... just babble, really.

We're 3 1/2 minutes into the episode, including intro. At this point on Friday, it will occur to many people that it's a good idea to switch off telly and play a board game with their family.

But for the sake of completion, we'll go on. Tom/Roy and Gabriel/Moss are talking to each other. Ah - this is when yesterday's breadrolls are mentioned. "Yesterday's sandwiches - that is what we are to them!" says Tom just before picking up a sandwich from Gabriel's desk. After Gabriel's hint that it is "vom Vortag" (a day old) he drops it. Now why change a working joke? I'll never know. Also... they say "Brötchen vom Vortag" which is kind of the "official" term for it instead of what average Joe would call them: "Brötchen von gestern". This isn't the only occurence of weird, overblown or awkward language in the episode - more examples to come.

Cut to the unisex toilets scene. Bornholm/Denholm gets it all wrong. After Sandy's/Jen's mentioning of Ally McBeal he says, "Nur hier arbeiten alle und haben keinen Sex auf dem Klo." / "It's just that here, everyone's working and not having sex in the bathroom." Did I miss something? Didn't Denholm originally say the complete opposite? "That's the sort of place this is Jen. Lot of sexy people not doing much work and having affairs." I am fairly sure. It seems to me that in several places the German version's writers just didn't get the original joke and thus turned it around by 180 degrees. Sandy's funny faces kind of almost make this joke work.Oh, hell...

We're back in soviet IT department. Penumatic blast first, then encounter with the "98% done" postman on the toilet. Another change that - in my eyes - ruins the comedic timing. I keep telling myself that the laughter in the background can't be real.

The IT team meets for the first time. Tolstoi is now Thomas Mann. Not too bad a change since Gabriel finally has a funny-ish new line: "Thomas Mann? I thought we were talking about Spiderman?!" On the other hand, one of my favourite lines was dropped ("I don't remember this conversation - AT - ALL!"). Gabriel starts talking awkwardly again when he shouts after Tom that he has "... da eine Wunde am Kopf. Wunde am Kopf!" (head wound). It would have sounded a lot better if he'd used the word that people usually use in these situations: Platzwunde.

Next thing you see is Gabriel comparing not the child's edition and adult's edition of Harry Potter, but this year's and last year's phone book. With a text marker. Oh, you writers. Bad idea! How do I put this to you? Geeks read and compare books, yes (sometimes even different versions of TV shows). Geeks do not read phone books. Not in 2007. I'm sorry, are you from the past? Have you heard of the internet? Or full-text search? Apparently not. My boyfriend actually says that he doesn't mind the phone books all that much, but I've seen the episode three times now and watching these particular twenty seconds just feels more painful each time. Anyway. Tom comes back from Sandy's office and picks up a toy in order to call his boss Bornholm. He does not hear it ring, he does not pass out. Just after he hasn't passed out, here's where the advertising break will take place. Afterwards, cut to Bornholm's office.

What you say! Yes, after so far only small changes were made, here are some two or three scenes missing entirely. No Gabriel to connect Sandy's phone. No pretend conversation. No Tom coming up with a plan, or scheme. No slightly larger glasses! That was a favourite joke of mine! Cut! No water spray for Gabriel (which is kinda weird because he is using some spray later on), no confrontation, no plugging in her computer. Nothing gives Tom and Gabriel the least clue that Sandy doesn't know anything about com-puters (which I thought was essential for the plot?!). We just move on right into Bornholm's office anyway. At 10 1/2 mintues, we're halfway through.

I'd been curious about how they were going to translate the "pair of horrible old women" conversation just before Denholm walks in. They haven't. It's missing, too. Bornholm speaks about teamplay. Again, so soft, so friendly, so calm, somewhat dreamy, doped, slightly... senile? I don't understand his approach at all. Another little comedic climax - "They may have to escort the current security team from the building for not acting as a team" - cut. Bornholm's speech seems a bit forced. "Teamfähig" (teamworthy, team compatible) is actually one of all German managers' favourite words. Bornholm does not use it. Again, awkward talking. Bornholm now acting camp! He shows them the A-Team (but to my dismay no mention of Tiger, Doyle or the Jewellery Man). The rest of the dialogue is largely the same, except that the IT team repeats the word team over and over while leaving which I liked. As mentioned before, Gabriel using spray on his hot ear.

Back in the basement, Sandy wants to learn what IT's about. Gabriel: "Ich erarbeite gerade eine ganz einfache Programmierung, in der ich..." again, awkward talking there. I'm certain now that this was intended by the writers. But not even the nerdiest person in the world would use these words. We do not "erarbeiten eine Programmierung".

The shoe girl appears on stage. It is sad, but the viewer can't help but notice that the acting was a lot better in the original show, even for this minor role. Sandy resolves the situation, but the original implication that she didn't do it on purpose at all - was cut. Her subsequent "people's person speech" is actually not half bad. After Tom has not passed out for the second time during this episode, the brainstorming takes place. Carbon copy of the original scene, bar one change: in the middle of it the IT team is seen scratching their noses like little Vicky the Viking! Oh my God, they snuck in a telly reference! But wait a second, is Gabriel wearing slightly larger glasses there?!

The party! Taking place at 19:00 instead of 5.45 PM but whatever. Sandy tells everyone that "IT people and normal people should meet more often... to improve teamplay!" Tom goes to get some more beer instead of wine (of course!), Tom and Gabriel were once drunk in Hamburg instead of Amsterdam (all fair and good changes/good adaptation in my opinion) and the hookers' names were Kiki and Vicky (I did like "Brandy and Chrystal" and I think these names would have worked in a German version just as well). Well, you know what happens next. Or actually, no, you don't. No shouting, no strangling - Gabriel uses the spray on his ear again and that's that. Cut to the last scene. Sandy calls Tom and Gabriel "zombies" (almost made me laugh) and then answers the phone "correctly" which earns her commendatory looks by the other two that weren't there in the original.

The picture slideshow is missing.

Last scene: Bornholm is really desperate because his voice activation isn't working - no sign of rage though. And that's it.

I just had another look at Yesterday's Jam. And I can't help it... it's not just the soviet colouring of the German IT department. All characters come across friendlier, more lovable and... cuddlier in the original version - despite all the shouting, screaming, choking, funny voices and, yes, passing out that does not take place in the German version.

You know how there are both funy jokes and funny people in this world? And a funny person telling a funny joke will make you laugh (and a funny person telling a *beep* joke sometimes will, too) while an unfunny person just can't pull of the very same joke? Watching Das iTeam feels just like that - for 18 minutes. At this point I am asking myself whether I should be grateful - the original is 23 minutes of geeky goodness long.

The actors: Britta Horn (Sandy/Jen) and Sebastian Münster (Tom/Roy) were better than expected acting-wise - okay, sometimes even almost "good"; Stefan Puntigam (Gabriel/Moss) couldn't do the Moss at all, and Sky Dumont (Bornholm/Denholm) was beyond bad - what was he doing? I hadn't expected much of him anyway, despite him being a respected (or at least, well-known) actor, after reading that interview at fernsehjunkies.de with him a few weeks ago. In the fifth paragraph he states that Das iTeam is going to be successful because it is going to be better than the original. Why? Because they're going to do a lot of things different, he says. In paragraph seven he states that everything's been directly translated, and largely the same. Make up your mind! So, what was he doing? He probably doesn't know this himself. A bit weak, coming from the "star" of the show - Dumont is the only one of the actors that I ever heard of before, and it's no coincidence that he's sitting in front of everyone else on Sat1's promotional photos. Maybe it would have been a good idea to use Christoph Maria Herbst (aka Stromberg) instead of Dumont - the German version of David Brent from The Office (which was in fact a success in Germany).

The writing: is a pile of crap (see above).

All in all, there's not much good to say about Das iTeam, although I tried to be fair and list all the things that I thought were decent or even funny. I tried. I really, really did.