AWFUL!


My brother brought me this atrocious DVD for my birthday as a joke. After finally watching this turd its easily the worst present I’ve ever received and one of the worst films I’ve ever had the misfortune to watch.

First off the 70's filter was a joke, you see modern cars for a start which the director had no clue how to make it look old so he made it far too dark with this awful grain effect which you could probably film better in a fish tank. The fight scenes were the worst I've ever seen and I've seen Steven Seagal's latest films so that saying something. The volume of the music was way to high, the dialogue was to quiet where you couldn't understand what’s happening most the time (not like it mattered with how boring/bad the story was).

The CGI is laughably bad, it looked like it's been edited in somebody’s bedroom using a 10 day free trial program downloaded from a torrent. Terrible looking bullets bouncing off other bullets, the WORST fire effects you could ever see. Some of the bullet holes would move around the actors body (if you could call them actors). If you used ms paint you could surpass this easily. When one of the vampires talks to their leader this god awful blurry effect which looks laughably cheap comes on which makes you think the lens has been dipped in treacle.

When the final fight takes place. It's the pinnacle of awfulness. Firstly the CGI again is all over the place, rubbish fog and stupid spark effects coming out of nowhere. Some of them protruding from the fighters heads. A lacklustre final fight which looked liked it was choreographed by Stephen Hawkins with a brain tumour, it was that bad.

The only good thing in the film was it's soundtrack (which he still managed to mess up). The volume was way too high so it easily drowned out the actors(?) voices. Which could hardly be heard without any music anyway. This is what happens when you don't use a boom mic and record the sound on the same device as the picture.

In conclusion the whole film was badly directed, wrote, shot, EVERYTHING was just AWFUL. The guy obviously put a lot of work and effort into this film, but he's a hack and this hack of a director should stay away from films FOREVER!





When there’s no more room in my stomach, Burgers will walk the earth - Steven Seagal

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i agree with most of this but i enjoyed the fight scenes for some odd reason


Lee's Daniel's' THe Butler'

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