MovieChat Forums > The Pickup Artist (2007) Discussion > Alot Of Guys Should Just Give Up !!

Alot Of Guys Should Just Give Up !!


Don't get wrong..I'm not trying to put anyone down
butI think that at a certain point some guys should
give up and resign themselves to being alone.Although,
I have to give someone like Fred credit because he has
more guts than I would ever have.I would never have the
confidence or nerve to approach a woman/ask someone out.
(Maybe,If I won the lottery..but that's another story)
At least some guys try...I'll give them that.


Believe me...I'm no Denzel Washington,Taye Diggs
or Lenny Kravitz but I have had a number of IOI's
(indicators of Interest) from women over the years;
not in clubs (i've never been) but on the street,
stores,supermarket.

Like alot of guys,I'm pretty shy, socially-awkward
and a poor conversationalist.With women you need to
incredibly smooth and fluid in your delivery/approach
you can't stammer and stutter as I'm sure that I would.
Some women may be interested in a guy but if his approach
is all wrong/lacking she'll be turned off in an instant.

You can take what I'm saying with a grain of salt.
I'm a 35 yr old guy..who's never dated,never had
a girlfriend and has yet to have his first kiss.

Good luck to you all.

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Thats harsh, I hear your desensitisation. I'm kinda in the same boat, only im 9 years younger. It's kinda like ive given up - more or less.

I want to just hide in my apartment 100% of the time and play computer games and never think about the fact that women even exist. But I have to work to pay the rent and when im up and about out in the life I get reminded of what I'm missing out on, and then I get neurotic.

But no no, I guess I havent given up 100%, because if I did then I would propably just kill myself right now, or not..

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I totally feel you guys.

I'm an aspiring lawyer who is successful in life and *beep* at most only 16 different women per week. Sometimes women jump on me because of the things I say or the things I do, and I'm so tired of this whole sexual thing going around me that I just wanna tell the women to stop bothering me and let me calmly study law and go on with my career.

God I just wish I could switch my attraction level to "off".

Keep it up with the good work

Everything is made to be perfect.

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You have to start setting goals for yourself! It IS possible no matter what you look like. Do what I do: Go in there, in a tight spot with a refreshing drink, a unique object (art or something) just lay it down on the table, make yourself comfortable. Make sure there are women around you. Read for a while, ignore everyone. As you pick up the conversation you interrupt after apx 4-5 minutes (any more will subconciously lead them to think you're asexual) - "Omg, were you just talking about xx".
They will light up with enthusiasm and you will have a conversation going.. it works everytime. If you're in the room but not at their table its 12-15 minutes.. in their table (or emediate space) 4-5 minutes.. never more. It works..

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To make sure there is zero chance of my meeting a girl, I have even gone to extremes and started ignoring all my female friends; they all seemed pretty hurt by it. Too bad they weren't born men, then I'd acknowledge their existence. :)


What a douchebaggy thing to do

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Gotta say, some of these posters sound like trolls. Their stories just sound too extreme to be believable.

another thing to try especially if u dont want a slut from a party line is to just practice by talking to random strangers. talk to other dudes. once you get used to conversating, next try harmless women who you don't want -old librarians, the old lady vendor, the fat lady sitting next to you on a flight. don't just ask a question, and then end it, but carry on a quick light conversation for about 3-5 minutes. from there, move on to a younger middle aged women. once you get the hang of that, THEN finally move on to a girl your age.


This is actually a decent piece of advice. You're just gradually stepping up the difficulty in terms of what you can confront.

I've had more then 50 non-stripper, non-escort normal attractive girls and you guys have had --- 0!!! wow, i can't even imagine that. anyhow, it's never too late, try my advice and have fun.


I kinda doubt that but even if it was 50 I would bet my life savings not even half were "10's".

Yes, girls are shallow and plenty are stuck up. Anyone who denies that is a fool or a liar. The funny part about it is many of the really shallow and stuck up ones aren't even attractive. I mean, if you like skanky, a bit "expired" and "fake-looking" (too much make-up, etc.), maybe you'll find them attractive. But the point is looks do make a difference. So for the guys here who are losers and aren't just trolls making up stories, go to the gym or take up a sport or physical activity you enjoy, get some good clothes, get a nice hair cut, take care of your teeth and skin and maybe do a bit of waxing if need be.

my last piece of advice and this is very VERY REAL: in a room with a bunch of 2s, 5, 7s, and one ten. Always talk to the 10. why? because they are more confident to speak to you. Ugly girls generally have ugly personalities and act rotten, mean-spirited and nasty. 6-7s (nornal pretty girls) are wannabe hot girls with nothing to say and are dumb, they shoot u down becuase they are pathetic. but the 10s (the true 10s, not the 10 for your town who is really a 6 objectively but a real 10) are classy women. even if not to push on them to date, they are always cool and kind when it comes to plain conversations. I always ignore 7s and below and go straight for the superiorly gorgeous girl at parties/bars/etc to talk with her. the 8s and belows who all have these rotten looks on the faces (generally) or you feel right beneath the surface they are rude/ignorant are armed and ready to shoot a guy like me down, but as soon as they see me ignore them and talk the pretty girl , i see them in my side vision perk up and get - as what i think it is - jealous or pissed. they are pissed becuase they came to the club for the sole reason of acting pissing and to shoot guys down for fun, but since i ignore them, they hate it. there goes their fun.


This is an odd piece of advice and I can't really say I agree with it. Lots of ugly girls are nice 'cause that's the only way they can get a guy. (If you're ugly AND a b*tch you're no good to any guy unless they're EXTREMELY desperate to the point where you want to strangle them [the guy].) This also makes me think you might be a troll. Whatever. I'm taking what you say with a grain of salt.

To my surprise I ran into one of the most popular girls in campus at Dimmu Burgger's concert last week.


Just to let you know, it's Dimmu Borgir. Dimmu Burgger sounds like a fast food joint or restauraunt owned by some Scandanavian guy. I'm guessing you're not a metal fan, so your mistake is understandable.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2PzagXsD0Y

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Dude your life is really sad.

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"With the right approach, any guy can get any girl--FACT!"

No only is that not a fact, it's outright bull. Just think about that same statement in reverse and imagine that a 300lb absolute dog of a woman was trying to get you. Can you think of any approach, even up to the point where she'll pay you to live with her, that you start and maintain a relationship with her? Men and women may be different, but they're not that different. If a woman is repulsed by a man, no amount of convincing is going to win her over.

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"Superior"? Guess that directly stems from NOT getting laid, huh?

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Are you sure you were tasting the right dish? There are two within striking distance of each other.

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It really depends on how much you're willing to settle. A lot also comes down to luck, being in the right place at the right time and able to make the right impression. Not to mention something as big as location; being in the same company and working alongside your prospects will provide a much better chance of finding a mate than just approaching somebody on the street or a club. Plus being uber-social provides far more points of contact for romance.

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No one _should_ give up, since the whole world is random, almost anything can happen, get out there and do what you think you can't to prove yourself wrong once and for all!!

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Lads, if you really want to be good with women, you will be. Don't lie to yourselves and say "it'll never be me."

Chatting to women is easy, just go up to them and tell them "i'd be kicking myself all day if i didn't tell you...you're beautiful." The goal isn't to convince them that they are beautiful, its to convince them that you believe it.

Go forth, choose the look you like, eat well, exercise and smile with all your heart. You are good with women, and you will be great x

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i agree, ive been shot down more times then i can count and i just got out of a really bad relationship(she cheated on me) and ive had stuff said to me like "youre just gona rape me". and to this day, i believe im gonna die alone.

i think the problem is that womens standards have gotton too high, even the "ugly" ones believe that a guy should be muscular and blonde

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i agree, ive been shot down more times then i can count and i just got out of a really bad relationship(she cheated on me) and ive had stuff said to me like "youre just gona rape me". and to this day, i believe im gonna die alone.

i think the problem is that womens standards have gotton too high, even the "ugly" ones believe that a guy should be muscular and blonde


If a woman replies "youre just gonna rape me" you're doing something wrong, read "The Game" by Neil Strauss (best friend of Mystery) and learn

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I read the whole thread, and it makes me sad, really. I can't understand that some men refuse to take control of their own destiny. You can be what you wanna be. And yes, all men can get any women. Why doesn't it work the other way around, like some guy asked in this thread? Men are waaaaaaaaaay more shallow than women. Another fact.

Have you seen Pickup artists at work? Most of them are not pretty or rich, and most of them AREN'T born that way. They learned. They didn't sit on their sorry asses saying "I should just give up, no women will ever like me." That's lazy talk. Most of all, that's coward talk. What are you affraid of?

You are your own problem and you refuse to solve it. I can't believe some guys would rather spend their whole life alone than try to change.

I was the geekest guy you could think of from my elementary school up to the end of university. But one day I decided to take back control of my life. I decided to have a good opinion about myself. I decided that if people can't like me for who I am, they're just not worth it and that I shouldn't be affraid anymore. And guess what? People actually liked me for who I am! If you like yourself, people are gonna like you. But you hate yourself, even though you might believe otherwise, so of course people (especially girls) won't like you.

Quit the loser talk and get out there. People want to know you, allow them to.

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yeah i know what im doing wrong

im too damn ugly

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ftremblay, well said.

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Your problem is your focus is all wrong. If you obsess about getting women, it shows through in your approach to them. You need to concetrate more on being an interesting person. Do you have any hobbies or interests that you can share? Are you interested in sports or music or religion or politics? When you engage fully with life you become fascinating to others, men and women gravitate to you to help fill the emptiness in their lives.

My gut feel is you are just a crashing bore. Of course, I could be wrong.

If you are not busy being born, you are busy dying.

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i have a lot of hoppies/intrests, but im serious when i say its because im ugly

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Friend, looks are way down the list on what is important in a man for most women. But even so you have no excuse. As Helena Rubenstein said "There are no ugly women. There are only lazy ones." That goes doubly true for men. You can get your body into shape by working out, you can get a stylish haircut, and you can wear nice clothing.

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Helena Rubenstein said "There are no ugly women. There are only lazy ones." That goes doubly true for men.


So sayeth Neil Strauss...

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You have to be really butt ass ugly for it to not be a possibility to hookup with someone ever even if you're trying. Im talking like, if someone saw you for the first time they would feel bad because they would assume you have down syndrome.

Listen fellas, Im far from attractive but Ive hooked up with about 30 girls (please dont confuse hookup with have sex). In high school I only hooked up with I think 6 girls and most of them sucked, it was because I didnt try and was to shy to initiate conversations with anyone outside of guys. Since high school (now a junior in college) Ive hooked up with around 25 girls, some hot, some okay, some bad, but the point was I was getting myself out there and I have dated 4 girls and I am currently with one that could very well end up being "the one"

Dont get down on your looks or your personality. Just get out there and start winging it. Learn by doing, and eventually girls will be talking among themselves about you, even if they say to each other that they would never touch you atleast you're in the conversation and not just completely irrelevant. Looks are not an excuse and shyness is not an excuse, if theres a will theres a way.

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www.meetup.com

try some social anxiety support groups, or social/meeting groups organized online..

i'm trying it out, meeting new folks, so it's a cool thing 2 try..

"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility"
Stan Lee, 1962

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Personally I think Mystery did a lot of guys a favor and pointed out that women don't necessarily obsess on a mans looks and showed that everyone can find someone to be happy with.

One thing about the show did surprise me though. A lot of things that he pointed out in the show I learned years before in trial and error:
1) Don't walk directly towards a woman that you are interested in, it's too confrontational

2) Open the conversation with something witty... keep things light

3) Show confidence, women aren't too concerned with guys that they feel are unsecured... they tend to extend that to such things as 'sex'

I think Mystery did good job of showing that there's someone out there for everyone and that there's no need to be like the one poster who commented about never having a girlfriend.

Being single is not a good thing trust me. Finding someone that means the world to you, and you to them, is one of the best feelings in the world! Something that everyone should experience at least once in their lifetime.

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amen to that

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I agree with everything you stated. I also want to add some points that Changing the way you dress, The people you associate with, and the places you go for entertainment or socializing can also help you to find a woman.

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