MovieChat Forums > The Pickup Artist (2007) Discussion > How 'The Game' messed with me head

How 'The Game' messed with me head

posted 15 years ago by ogspy86
10 replies | jump to latest

A WARNING: This is some heavy *beep* But its real and true.

I read 'The Game' by Neil Strauss when I was a 19 yr old virgin.

It blew me away. Not only was it the most entertaining non-fiction book I'd ever read, it gave me hope that a tall, skinny guy who didn't know how to talk to girls could get laid after all.

Now, I am a 20 yr old virgin, and I will be 21 in early August 2009.

When I read this book, it changed my perspective on women forever. And it impaired my mind about whether its okay to show a girl that you're interested in her. I'm still confused today if I should demonstrate interest in any girl I like.

Since reading this book, the laws of attraction are all a complex over-complicated chess game to me. I still put pussy on a pedestal. And I remind myself of Steve Carell's 40-yr-old Virgin, just younger at 20.

When I see regular dudes get girls at my summer job, I wonder to myself "How the hell did he do that?" And here I'm sitting just lost and *beep* clueless.

I've since renounced pick up, because it never yielded any real results for me (obviously), and the lines are getting too popular. (courtesy of VH1 Pick Up Artist).

In the process, I've never come to terms with just being cool with girls. I read every gesture as some sort of signal, every conversation as an IOI, and just stupid *beep*

And its all because some a**holes got together and made a natural mating process into an exact, minute science. And it *beep* with my head and is currently *beep* with my life.

I get all kinds of sh*t from my friends because I'm a handsome guy but I just never seal the deal. My mind plays tricks on me and I always blow it.

If you own The Game, never loan it to someone who's still a virgin, because no guy should have to go thru what I am.

When it comes to the girls now, I've recently been trying to start all over again from square one. I just try to be me, but its hard because this book engrained in my mind things about girls I will never let go of.

Let me hear your thoughts.

[–] gundam_bravo4 15 years ago

Yes, indeed. It wouldnt be too much of stretch to say that lot of the success they spout is a bit much over-embellishment. The books also fails to mention the types of persons this pseudo-psychology works on (sluts pure and simple). I dont know what to say except that its better if you just work on improving yourself, rather than try to emulate everything the book tells you.

[–] geriatriccatlady 15 years ago

Good points. Besides women read these books as much as men do.

Just my two cents.

[–] metallicahp66 15 years ago

The show and book are both full of really bad advice. There's no harm in reading it, but in the end you just have to practice over and over again.

What the "method" fails to address is that women need to be taken on a case-by-case basis. You can't just recite scripts and pick-up lines to different people everytime. Just ask questions, and if there's no natural chemistry, then move on! It's just a numbers game!!

[–] Scott-101 15 years ago

It's not all about the end goal. If you get a date here or there or make a connection but don't seal the deal than that's fine.

I was a 21 year old virgin and highly concerned about that and i'm still a virgin at 25 but this year was better for me than last year in terms of dating and stuff. The idea is to not feel shame about yourself for being a virgin and coping with feeling inadequate because you're not getting any. Not enough self-help books focus on that and they should.

There's a lot of pressure that you've gotta resist but it's the only way to get anywhere. If you're not thinking too hard about it things work better.

It is tempting to compare yourself to these guys, but in the end, those guys are just kind of pathetic. They have no sense of balance and probably feel empty because that's all they have. Try to think about stuff other than sex anyway and it'll make you an interesting person.

Good luck to you.

www.examiner.com/x-3877-DC-Film-Industry-Examiner

[–] ghostofthepast1986 14 years ago

if all you've delt with is mysteries matreal then i feel sorry for you. mysteries stuff and the other so called gurus, mainly rely on high energy environments like clubs. if you dont want to do the club crap then focus on people that teach day game like David Deangalo. but there's a problem with him too. if your not a moderately high energy person it still wont work too well. but that does not mean its useless. learning how to by better clothes, how to hold your self better and how to watch body language and gain socials skills are all good things. but going so far as to see all this stuff as being as sacred as the bible is dangerous and will screw you over. in the end the best thing to do is what David Deangelo says "takes what works for you and leave the rest." i am a very low energy person, so for me that means meeting women in places like parks, libraries and class. it also means i now have a much better idea of how style works and how to interact with other people.

[–] hellven 14 years ago

Several issues come to mind:
- You're looking for 100% game
- You're looking for the perfect sets
- You're focusing on an outcome
- You're being too analytical

I've dealt with similar issues myself. When you first get into this stuff and read the book you are literally overloaded with information, and you get the feeling that you must be mindful of everything little thing/detail to achieve success - however this is not true. Plenty of people run imperfect game, but still manage to get results. Getting to a stage where you can run perfect game takes years of practice. What Mystery teaches is essentially the optimal way to pickup. Obviously things don't always run 100% smoothly and you need to be able to adjust.

I've had similar feelings in the past where I felt that I needed to master all the material before I even attempted it in field. This is the wrong mindset to have. The mystery method has a structure, and just like the show, you start at the beginning, practice, then move to the next stage. Don't try to learn the whole thing without practicing it in building blocks. Right now you're probably being way too analytical. Mystery says it himself, no rules are set in stone.

If you had trully understood the book, you would know that it's not about lines. Yes, you obviously need to have things to say, gambits as their called, but it's just as important to have the right body language, physical presence, and solid inner game. It seems to me like you are scared to try because you think that the lines are overused. That's being outcome dependent. If you didn't care about the outcome or rejection, then you would be able to try anyway. Even if they have heard the line before, there are many ways to deal with that. Remember that if you're being non-reactive, them reacting negatively to your opener for instance shouldn't affect you emotionally at all. It should just pass through you.

You need to spend a lot more time in field that reading the book. Start by getting some openers that you feel you could use congruently (there are thousands online so the chance that they will have heard it before is pretty small), and remember that it doesn't matter at all if they've heard it before because you're just trying to better yourself and show them a good time. You need to practice the openers with a friend, or even your mirror (don't overdo this), then actually go out in field night after night trying it. It will suck in the beginning and you'll probably feel really crap about yourself. You may even freeze up and not be able to open your mouth for the whole night. But you can only get better. You have to persevere to become successful. Work on your inner game and stop thinking so much.

[–] holdek01 12 years ago

Amen, bro! It's all about finding some bush and sticking your cock in, am I right?!

[–] MiqeaPA 12 years ago

These tatics are dentrimental to society.
Why would these losers keep using the same lines on different women? Even if it works.
Not only that,some of these douchbags pay thousands of dollars for a weekend camp to learn those stupid "technics".
If these losers werent such losers,they would know that subtle confidence and honesty are what you need to "pick up" chicks.
Neil Strauss is a con man.

Is it me or are these PUAs mostly from SoCAl?

PROUD P U-A HATER

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] 12 years ago

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