MovieChat Forums > Prayers for Bobby (2009) Discussion > Heartwrenching. I Cried, and Cried, and ...

Heartwrenching. I Cried, and Cried, and then Cried Some More

posted 14 years ago by cinephile20
19 replies | jump to latest

I have been contemplating suicide for some years now. Right now i am 20 and till some months back, i had an almost-concrete plan of committing suicide. I come from a very conservative place where homosexuality was not even recognized as a social presence till some years ago. I can't even entertain the option of coming out to my family. Had it been only about my parents, i might have still contemplated this option. But it is also about my cousins, friends and the hundreds of others who I am acquainted with. I have no clue how hostile the reaction of people when they know about me, but i am sure I would not be accepted.

My magnum opus was to kill myself after crossing 25 or so but only after having written a story of my life. In the suicide note I had plans of mentioning that my last wish is to get this story published so that others do not have to go through what i have been going through. This was to ensure that my death does not go in vain. But then i thought i can not do this to my family. i would rather come out to them alive than come out to them posthumously. The pain in the latter case would definitely be greater to them. Now that i have scrapped this plan, i am at a loss of what I should do.

All in all, thus, i could relate to Bobby in the movie. The way he tried to feign his orientation by being with girls, the way he reacted when his grand mom said in the beginning that all queers must be hanged, his body language, his happy moments, his goodness, i could relate to everything.

And when he committed suicide, i was shattered. I haven't cried as much in any movie as i did in this one. Some scenes were especially tear-inducing: the moment when bobby's mom comes to know that her son is dead, the scene in the church when she cries that she has killed her son, the speech, when she reads his diary, the ending scene when she hugs that boy. All characters were really believable, the performances were great, the feeling was perfect, the soundtrack awesome.

I gave this a rare 10 on 10. And if imdb had an option of giving one movie 11 on 10, i mite have picked this up. The other option would have been Brokeback Mountain, which though did not make me cry as much as this one did, it certainly shattered my insides to tiny pieces. BBM was like vampires. Once it was in, it stayed. While this one was a tear gas. Once its effect started, it did not stop.

[–] maddie01 14 years ago

I agree with you 100%. Prayers for Bobby moved me in so many ways, and its authenticity was stunning.

Thank you for sharing your story. The movie is truly inspiring, and it's final message is true: your life isn't meaningless, and there's always hope. And living your life honestly is so important. You deserve to be happy, and you can't be when there's so much fear and repression inside! I don't want to push you to come out to your family, because I know that it matters to you how they feel and it would be devastating if they didn't accept you for who you are, but it's obvious that you're a wonderful person--I mean, you definitely have great taste in films --Perhaps you should watch some of the "It Gets Better" videos on youtube! They're true stories of finding joy and love, in spite of the difficult circumstances that they faced growing up.

Good luck to you, dear, and much love!

*Also, BBM is my favorite movie in the whole world! So powerful!

You cheated!
Pirate.

[–] rivkasieff 13 years ago

Hello cinephile,

Its been some months since you wrote, but i hope in that time you have found some joy and acceptance in your life. I've never cried so much at a film, it was wonderfully done and so so sad this wonderful young man felt he couldn't live with his homosexuality. Being set in the seventies ofcourse it was generally harder to be accepted you would assume things are different now but thats not always the case. Its very interesting to show how people choose to focus literally only on certain parts of the bible and then ignore the rest. At the end of the day i judge people on their personality and positive qualities. Hope you find the love and peace that everyone deserves xx

[–] ozni 13 years ago

cinephile20 I hate to admit I cried through this film. I am now 57 years old and have always struggled with being gay. My life was Bobbies except after pills didnt work I thought about but didnt jump in front of truck only because i didnt like the idea of the pain if it didnt work. Keeping my secret has made for a very sad lonely unfullfilling life. I would ask you seriously consider telling your parents and if they reject you move on to live your life as you are. You could still keep in touch by letters and phone calls if they accept them. I would hate for you to end up like me. I honestly wish I could go back in time and do that myself but alas I cant

[–] stonash7 12 years ago

I can relate to you and bobby ....I JUST WATCHED THE movie ..and all im going to say is..dong give up..there are so many going through what you are going through

[–] tad-32 12 years ago

Whatever you do, please don't take your own life. I'm just a stranger, but a stranger that cares. Everyone is unique, everyone is a special star in someone else's sky. Everyday is another chance to find happiness.

If your family and friends do not accept who you are, they were never really your family and friends...true family and friends love you unconditionally. If they don't, worry not...there ARE people out there who will accept you and love you and will be your new family, you just have to find them.

What is truly sad is that there are still bigoted parents with Bobby-s everywhere. Just last year, young gay suicide took center stage when a bunch in Canada and the US caused headlines. I just hope the parents come to their senses, and failing that the Bobby-s spend time with the MCC, or PFLAG, or non-religious youth support groups to figure out what to do, or if all else fails relocate to more friendly places.

[–] NoseyNeighbor 12 years ago

Good wishes to you, Cinephile. You are the age of my child--I truly believe that there is a lot more understanding now. This movie did an amazing job of reaching back to the '70s--and having lived through these 30-plus years, I appreciate how far we've come. Wishing you much happiness and a long and healthy life to come.

[–] greenleaflink 12 years ago

Thank You for sharing your story, it was a deeply moving movie, and i agree if there was a 11/10 i too would score it at that.

[–] chatanuga 11 years ago

I'm 38 and just watched this movie the other day (ordering the DVD and book soon). It touched a lot on what I experienced when I came to terms with my being gay, dealing with religion, and coming out. I've been to the point of attempting suicide more than once in that time, and I'm glad I'm still here. It does get better, even whenever I encounter a speedbump on the road of life.

[–] bpoz 11 years ago

I'm glad you're still here too.

I have far too many friends who have been where you've been and I long for and work for a day when no one contemplates suicide because the world tried to tell them they were somehow flawed as human beings.

So glad it got better for you!

[–] chatanuga 11 years ago

Thank you!

About two and a half years ago, I wrote about my coming out story (been updating it from time to time since) and put it up online if you'd like to read it.

http://chatanuga.org/ComingOut.html

[–] bpoz 11 years ago

Wow, that's quite a saga. Good luck with your business. I think distancing from negative family influences is always a good idea. It's unfortunate that it's sometimes necessary to cut those ties but it's better to free yourself of the burden of their judgments and lack of understanding.

If you're looking for other positive gay themed movies, I'd recommend Latter Days, Shelter, Save Me and the entire Donald Strachey series, which centers on a private detective and the cases he solves as well as the life he shares with his partner. There are many others but those are some that come to mind.

Best wishes.