Seriously the worst movie I've ever seen....

Alright so this was so incredibly bad, I can't even describe it. How on earth did this ever get made? And for goodness sake, when will this film "franchise" end? None of the movies like Date Movie, Epic Movie, this piece of ****, were hits, in fact they were flops, and now I'm being bombarded with annoying advertisements on imdb's homepage for "Disaster Movie". OOOH I can hardly contain my excitment for that not so highly anticipated new release! Does any box office analyst think this will actually do well? How can the producers of that think it's going to make them money, they have to know that it's going to flop as much as the other ones. I do not get it.

Anyway, so this one night a family friend was over and all night he kept telling us about how this new movie called Meet the Spartans was the most hilarious thing he had seen in years, and he wanted me and my sister and my dad to see it so badly that he had taken the time to download it off the internet and burn it to a DVD. And he would not shut up about it. He kept referencing it, like when my sister mentioned Paris Hilton, he said something like "Oh she has a hump on her back, ahahahah" and then would explain that it was from this comedic gem of a movie he had just seen. And this is coming from a guy who has what I consider to be pretty good taste when it comes to films, mostly into the classics and stuff like that. So after hours of hearing about this movie, I was pretty much browbeated into watching it later that night, I protested since I had read some of the reviews the day before, but I figured he'd never shut up about it until I saw it (my sister and dad had the good sense to go right to bed). And how bad could 90 or so minutes be?

Less than two hours later I had my answer. VERY. No, more like EXTREMELY. As the movie concluded, I realized I had just experienced one of the most disturbing couple of hours of my life. Hours that I would never get back. The worst part was that this family friend who had made me watch it thought it was actually really good (not sure how, but it happened) so he kept cracking up hysterically at these parts that weren't funny (especially the ones he had mentioned earlier that evening) and he kept looking over at me to make sure I thought these parts were funny and that I was enjoying the movie as much as him. So in order to avoid hurting the man's feelings, I had to fake laugh at every bit, part, and line that I knew the producers and writers had intended to be funny, yet one way or another wasn't. At all. I mean, there was the terrible, terrrrible script to start off with. Follow that with a bad cast, horrific acting, some of the worst impressions I've ever witnessed in my lifetime, and top that off with dreadful special effects for a movie with a pretty high budget. Like, I'd be watching a part like the one this family friend had mentioned with Paris Hilton and her really just more disgusting than funny hump, and I was just completely stunned that THIS is what I had been hearing about this whole time and THIS is what was so funny.

After I had finished the "movie" and the friend had left I tried desperately to shake any memory of it out of my mind, but unfortunately did not succeed. Since I couldnt forget a mind numbing experience such as this movie, I thought about it and realized even futher how dumb this movie was, because there were so many super current pop culture references. First of all, since the movie takes a while to film and release, some of the references were already too far in the past for everyone to understand (Sanjaya who?). Also, not to say that this should be a movie for all ages, because it definitely definitely should not, but 10 or even 5 years from now no one will understand half of the jokes since theyre all about things that happened in 2006-7. I just find it foolish for filmmakers to make something like this, that no one will remember. Although maybe it's better that way, because really, no one should have to remember this. And for the love of god, if you havent seen it, spare yourself the agony and stay away from it and its lame, gross, and just plain stupid attempts at humor.