101 Things I Learned from Down to the Dirt
101. I'm a fool for sitting through the entire movie hoping something interesting will happen eventually.
100. There be rednecks in Canada.
99. In a town where cops let known major alcoholics, pedophiles and arsonists walk/drive freely with impunity, people are afraid to gather lawfully in a remote forest location.
98. Bad poetry can always get you in hot dates and get you out of jail free.
97. Bad poetry is no longer confined to Britain. It has spread to Canada. Along with bagpipes.
96. Bagpipes is a symbol of culture. Such symbols will eventually drive people to consume hallucinogenics.
95. Prostitutes will give you freebies if they learn you are not a local.
94. You should always accept an invitation to meet your prostitute's pimp/bf/husband. You never know what goodies you can mooch off them.
93. A cat does not have 9 lives. Maybe 3. No more than 4 certainly.
92. If you are rooting for a bad man to fire a flare gun in the main character's eye, you should probably walk out of the movie.
91. If your audience will care more about a minor cat character's life in the movie than that of the main character, you should probably not make that movie.
90. I'm a damned fool.