MovieChat Forums > To verdener (2008) Discussion > So.....?

So.....?

posted 14 years ago by HiVoltg30
5 replies | jump to latest

So, did the older brother, after re-joining the church, follow the required protocol by shunning Sara like the rest of the family? or did he secretly keep in contact with her having been in her shoes?

Also, the brother expressed how hard and lonely it was to exist outside of the JW and family. didn't he have any friends?

Did the mom continue staying in touch with Sara afterwards?

Why wasn't the mom "punished" for her refusal to forgive the dad's adultery?

Sara and Teis not together anymore... wtf! What are they thinking? they were so dedicated to each other
!
"You!! Show me them... Boobies!" ~ Joe Dirt

[–] HarveyManfriedjinnStJohn 14 years ago

Why wasn't the mom "punished" for her refusal to forgive the dad's adultery?

Of all the questions you posed, this was the only one answered in the film. Apparently (from what Sara said), it's acceptable to end a marriage in cases of infidelity, so the mother wasn't required to forgive the father's adultery in order to stay in the church.

My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

[–] sbowie25 13 years ago

One can never really empathize with how it feels to be suddenly out of the religion and be alone in the world unless one has been a JW himself/herself.

JW's are conditioned from infancy how the whole world lies in the power of the wicked and that everything in the world, no matter how innocent and good and pleasurable it may seem can be used by Satan to turn anyone away from the "truth." Pursuing higher education, pursuit of money, materialistic lifestyle, fame, "worldly friends" or even family members who don't share the same spiritual principles are potential snares. They believe Satan is out there at every turn to ensnare anyone who's put down his "spiritual" guard. This results in a well-guarded, close-knit environment where most of one's life revolves around the religion and keeping high alertness against potential "dangers."

Finding ones' self suddenly out and shunned can be hard and lonely indeed. Besides, the deep-rooted beliefs and JW attitude remain for a long time even after one has left the religion and this can be a big handicap in forming new relationships and present difficulties to fit in in the world outside the JWs..

[–] sbowie25 13 years ago

So, did the older brother, after re-joining the church, follow the required protocol by shunning Sara like the rest of the family? or did he secretly keep in contact with her having been in her shoes?

This is entirely a persons decision to do though it is strongly expected of everyone to show loyalty to God. It depends on the brother's conviction that the shunning (disciplinary action)is in the best interest of his sister - to make her come to her senses and turn back away from a life of "wrongdoing", like it did to him.(JW's believe that living together as a couple outside the bond of marriage is fornication - a practice which the Bible condemns) They also believe that shunning protects the moral cleanliness of the whole flock. It would take a long while before a shunned person is accepted back into the fold after proving "repentance" for a period of time(may take several years).

In short, one may choose to continue associating with a shunned person, but it is strongly frowned upon. Not only it "exposes" one to dangerous moral influence but also, by condoning makes him/her a "sharer" of the wrongdoer's sin.

I know this from personal experience having been raised in the JW religion by my grandmother as a kid but never really stayed when I got older... Thankfully, I never got baptized, as they only have power over you if you have been baptized... baptism is like a document signing off your life and freedom to the religion.

[–] mannfann 13 years ago

first of all, a person is not resinstated right away
it can take months or years, depending on how long they have been gone
if he was disfellowshipped, he probably can associate with her but again that is her choice

regarding the mom being punished, the innocent mate in an adulterous has the right to either can forgive or not their mate who cheated
if they forgive, they work together on preserving their marriage
if she does not, she has grounds for divorce or a separation
either, the elders are instructed not to interfere with a husband and wife's decision to separate or to divorce, they can only give counsel from the Bible on the subject of marriage
the only grounds for divorce for JWs is adultery/fornication according the Scriptures

[–] leczorn 13 years ago

I'll try to answer all of your questions.

We don't know what ended up happening between Sara and Jonas, nor are we even certain that Jonas even went through with his return to the church. And I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't. He seemed like he was returning just to have a relationship with his family again.

We don't know if Jonas had any friends, but if he had mostly hung around JWs before leaving the church, it might've been tough for him to suddenly go out and make new friends. And even if he did, it's often difficult to form the same kind of bond with friends that people often do with family.

It's very likely that the mom did stay in touch with Sara, being that she broke church rules to stay in touch with Jonas, and living alone would make it easier for her to stay in touch with them.

As previously stated on here, Sara tells Teis that adultery is grounds for divorce in the JW church.

I think that near the end of the movie Sara realized that neither Teis nor the JW church were for her.

Great movie; one of my three favorites ever from Europe along with "Noi" from Iceland and "Vinterkyss" from Norway. What is it about those nordic movies?