NASCAR

. . . Pro wrestling on wheels. Truly good drivers, mechanics and pit crews. Instantly understood by any moron. Superbly marketed. Family-friendly. The most popular sport in the USA, in terms of paid attendance. And manipulated as fuck by the France family to create an artificial result. “Bubba, there’s another full-course yellow [flag] while they clear some alleged debris off of, well, I don’t really know, SOMEWHERE. And this bunches the field right back up, but it lets Jim Ray Bob dart into the pits to replace his entire car and stay on the SAME LAP as the new leader. This is gonna be exciting!”

Except for when it’s not.