MovieChat Forums > Love and Other Impossible Pursuits (2010) Discussion > Why are people saying Emilia was bad to ...

Why are people saying Emilia was bad to Will???


I was confused when they said it in the movie.. and I'm even more confused here...

Maybe it's because I'm a guy? But what I saw was her trying to open Will's horizons to life, and more or less.. helping him generally.

How was exposing his fake lactose intolerance a bad thing? Teaching him to skate? Cook? Watch non PG movies? I've done all these things with my now 12 year old sister who I am a defacto parent to.. and she's a perfectly normal kid who gets straight A's... so what am I missing here?

Also.. the kid's biological mother (Lisa Kudrow) to me seemed to be doing a TON of mental abuse to her child. Telling him his sisters death was meaningless..faking a lactose issue to keep him from eating dairy... screaming at his father in front of him, always demeaning his step mother... these things are ok????

Someone explain how I am backwards on this lol

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Wil is NOT Emelia's child. Emelia has NO RIGHT to do any of these things without the mother's consent.

You doing these things with your sister is NOT the same thing as a stepmother doing these things with her stepson BEHIND his mother's BACK.

Did you NOT see the scene were she actually was teaching him to LIE to his MOTHER?

Private not Secret? Is that what children should be learning to do to their parents?

Sorry, but pedophiles teach kids this kind of stuff... Emelia is a terrible influence... If she wants to introduce this child to more things she needs to NEGOTIATE with the child's MOTHER... Not do it behind her BACK.. and WORSE .. TEACH HIM to LIE to his own MOTHER.

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So to you it's perfectly ok for a parent to smother a child, shelter a child, lie to a child, and demean the other parent of a child... but not ok for the step parent to try to help the kid through all that? I'm lost on this even more now.

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So to you it's perfectly ok for a parent to smother a child, shelter a child, lie to a child, and demean the other parent of a child... but not ok for the step parent to try to help the kid through all that? I'm lost on this even more now.


Not Emelia's kid. None of her business. End of story right there.

Carolyn had to deal with a LOT of crap from Emelia and Jack. I completely sympathize with how she handled things. If I were Carolyn I probably would have tossed Emelia in a trash can.

Wil is not Emelia's kid, Emelia has no business directing Wil's upbringing at all.

Everything you teach a child ought to go through both parents FIRST.

But, Emelia violated Carolyn's marriage rather than being honest, I am not at all suprised Emelia began meddling with Carolyn's son as well.

First Emelia takes the husband, then she takes the son too.

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I'm with you 100%

The hardest thing to do in this world is to live in it, so live. Be brave, for me

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Me too. And Emilia didn't "take" Carolyn's husband. He broke his wedding vows of his own free will and left Carolyn. Emilia was even willing to have an abortion, but he told her not to and married her. She never forced him to do anything.
Having been raised by a man who was not my biological father (thank god), but who loved me and my older sister and brother as much as his own child, my younger sister, I think wgf has a warped sense of parenting, among other things. Emilia was no worse than Carolyn. In fact, I think she was the kinder of the two when it came to Will. Even for a woman with no experience as a mother or step-mother. Your sister is lucky!

"Pay no attention to the man in the trunk."

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The problem with this story is always going to be the fact that she is the other woman. People can't see past the fact that she helped break up there marriage. But there are more issues here that a affair, that ended a marriage. Affairs are never a good idea regardless of the state of a marriage especially when kids are involved. Because it cause so much anger and pain. If a marrige is not working, end it. If meeeting someone else makes you question whether you are happy or not, think about it, amd if you decided you want out, get out. Then you are free to do as you please. Emilia is some way to blame cause she was having an affair with a married man, but Jack is the main one to blame. He had a wife and a child, it is funny how people always blame the other instead of the man or woman who is married. Wgf does have a sense of black and white ideas, my opinion, but Jack choose to marry Emilia. She was trying to be a parent to Will, she was just doing it the only way she knew how. Also she blamed herself for her daughters death, which is the heart of the story here! How can she be a wife, stepmom or anything when she is griefing and feel she is at fault. She is pushing everyone away cause she feel she is to blame, almost like poison to anyone. Remember what Jack say, you are hardest on the people who love you, of coause, she thinks she killed her daughter, so don't love me, I don't deserve it. Losing a child is the hardest thing anyone could ever deal with. Nobody can't have any idea how they would react in that sitution. Carolyn had a right to be angry, but she should have never acted the way she did in front of Will. He is a child and he will feel like he is at fault in this. She should have had the agruement in private with Jack and Emilia. But her acting this way she did just made everything worse. She should have also been more senstive about Isabel, it was Will sister and to say of the things she said was unforgivable. She should have at least put herself in Emilie place as a mother in that and her angry had nothing to do with the baby. Truthfully all three of them where in the wrong in this, Emilie for getting involved with a married man, Jack for the affair and his son and not understanding Emillie grief and guilt, and Carolyn for not looking past her own anger and think about her son.

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I agree Carolyn was a bitch and a terrible mother.

I feel for Emilia....she did the best she could and putting up with Carolyn she deserved a medal. Will is going to be A screwed up kid with a mother who tells him his dead step sister meant nothing

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I agree. Emelia was a bit rough around the edges, but her relationship with Will in my opinion is my fav part of the movie. They have a very interesting, layered, complicated and overall cute and adorable relationship. William is very smart for his age. He picked up on all her witty comments, her dry humor with him, their banter was clever and showed they understood one another. He cared about her even though he tried not to. She got to him by being herself and being real...which is what William was all about. He said everything that popped in his mind. He was a lot like her in many ways. Emotional but tried to keep it all inside. And the things she tried to do with William wasn't bad. The ice-cream, skating, cooking, etc. Only an aggressive, resentful, insecure, combative person like Carolyn would take it that seriously.... it was Carolyn's resentment towards Emilia and Jack's relationship that made her even more over protective of William essp when it came to William bonding with Emelia. The whole "That is not his family" when she saw the picture showed her obvious jealousy and her issues with the changes in the family dynamic and in Will's life. But even at the end she was kind to Emelia, and realized Will liked her and missed her and wanted her in his life. And that whether she liked it or not, her son had a sister who was connected t Emelia.

You are not backwards on this at all. The end of this movie makes me tear up when she says she loves him, and hes talking about how he will tell her if he sees Isabelle. Their bonding throughout the entire movie and the evolution of their relationship is very sweet.They both make each other better people in the end, and both let their guards down to one another and to everyone else. And she WAS responsible with him. She never put him in danger. Carolyn was much more "abusive" out of anyone around Will. If people can't see that, they are blind and just focusing too much on the affair.

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I think you're supposed to see her in a bad light but not irredeemable. She was an extremely troubled woman who believes she is responsible for the death of her own child. Her step son is acting, unwittingly, as the mouthpiece for Carolyn. It seems to me she is clumsily attempting to connect with the boy to spite his mother initially, frequently being hurt by his Carolyn quotes, and that no doubt leads to the occasional irresponsible act. She hopes the boy is Ok, but has no problem putting him in harm's way. Over the course of the film, she does change as she spends time with the boy, and by the end is a good and stable influence and a fairly stable human being. The movie is more about her journey, coming to terms with the death of her daughter and learning how to relate to her stepson. So you see bad and good. Whenever you go through something traumatic in life you know you need to move on, but just don't know how to even start. That's where she is at the start of this, and she ends up damaging the people around her until she works it out. Ultimately it is her husband, in an act of love, who throws her out and forces her to confront the issues. By the end she has reset her life and has a good relationship with her husband and stepson. They're a proper family.

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I'm about halfway through it and so far I agree with everything you said. There are things I don't like about Emilia, but I think she's terrific with this really quite difficult child.

ETA: Now that I've seen the whole thng, I'm even more confused by this. The other characters continuously tell us she's bad with children, yet no evidence of that is ever shown. Emilia seems to believe it too, which I can buy since she feels responsible for the death of her baby (this is not a confident personality), but it just isn't what we see.

This is a big flaw in the film. If you want your audience to believe something about a character, they need to see it in action, not just be told it over and over as if that makes it true. Emilia takes better care of William than anyone else in his life.

"You were dead. Now you’re not. That’s completely fυϲking mad."

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As a mother and a stepmother, I think both of these woman weren't great for the kid. Emilia teaching him to lie, for example not good. Her thinking the lactose thing was fake and ended up not being, she felt awful about. His mom was more damaging on his character because she made him feel awful about not getting into schools, put down other parent and step parent. I get she's pissed; But she can't lash out like that in front of him.

No one is perfect and this movie shows this. In the end she's still there for the kid even though, I'm assuming, she's still not with his dad anymore. And the mom finally put her son above her anger and helped Emilia out.

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