MovieChat Forums > Pistol Whipped (2008) Discussion > Seagal's Better Half?

Seagal's Better Half?

posted 16 years ago by TexasRaider
9 replies | jump to latest

In the 90's during the administration of Der Schlickmiester (AKA Sir Weasel Clinton) I remember thinking how sad Hillary was. She was dragged along with the Impeached One, kicking and screaming, having to endure all his horrible behavior, self indulgent nonsense and his contempt even for those that supported him. I am no Hillary fan, but it seems sad that her fortunes were permanently tied to her bigger, uglier, dumber half.

It seems Steven Seagal's ponytail has the exact same problem.

How could it ever get any respect being permanently attached to the low-talking portly one?

Yes, on March 4th 2008, the day "Pistol Whipped" comes out on DVD, millions will be voting in Primary Elections with their conscience 'yea' or 'nay' for Hillary. Hundreds, or maybe tens, will be voting with their wallets for 'Pistol Whipped'.

Just remember, even if they both have a poor showing and get trounced, both Hillary and The Ponytail deserve sympathy and compassion for enduring what none of us should ever have to endure: being connected forever to a large, disgusting, self absorbed ass.

Pity Hillary.

Pity the Ponytail.

History has buried them both.

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

[–] KennethX 16 years ago

Dude Pistol Whipped owns. If you can make a better movie I'll gladly watch it.

@ the Ponytail: I wish it were longer.

[–] TexasRaider 16 years ago

Heck, I haven't even seen it. I wasn't mocking the movie, per se. I was drawing a comparision between two icons that have gotten little respect over the years because they are attached to doofuses. Ane they both get voted on, in a manner of speaking, tomorrow.
That's all. I actually like the old Seagal stuff.

I think I would like to try to make a Seagal movie, though. That has got to be an easy way to make a buck and the expectations are so low you can't go wrong. In fact, I think instead of that wreck Michael Mann made of his Miami Vice remake, he should have made a film with Seagal.
I'd like to see Steven mumble around in all those moody blue hues. Cool.

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

[–] KennethX 16 years ago

how is Seagal a doofus? I think he's pretty smart and was successful in creating this action persona that gets him money even if the movies sucks. (See his past Exit Wounds-movies)
I people come and pay to see you, just because of you= $sucess$

i thought what your wrote was actually kinda funny, until you said
"The Ponytail deserve sympathy and compassion for enduring what none of us should ever have to endure: being connected forever to a large, disgusting, self absorbed ass."

which sounds like your average hater talk, and i'd like to know what you base it on that Seagal is such a self absorbed ass. do you know him?

[–] TexasRaider 16 years ago

I was on a Federal SRT Team for several years. I was trained by several ex-military types, including Navy Seals. They told me from their first hand experience trying to train Seagal that he is a whining wanna be that NEVER did any of the 'secret' or 'clandestine' things he claimed. He constantly changed his story to try to impress whomever he was speaking to at the moment.

Also, as a Law Enforcement Firearms Instructor for over 20 years, I have heard numerous stories in person and in trade publications about when Seagal was training cops (yes, Seagal used to train police for money) he was condescending, arrogant, impatient and not near as knowledgable as he thought he was.

Highlighted point - Seagal USED to. It didn't last a real long time because guys that have 'been there' immediately recognized what a doofus and fake he was.

Simply put, I believe Seagal is a poser who makes up his 'claimed' training and history and that he's a liar who hears stories from other people and claims them as his own. I think he is pathetic.

And I don't argue that you have to be a genius to make money in H'wood. Hell, Will Ferrel still makes a ton of cash despite the fact most of his movies are unbearably unfunny, juvenile and simply flat stupid. So what. He has, as you say, '$sucess$'. Good for him! We live in a capitalist society and if they can make cash off of people who wanna see their, uh... 'films'...then wonderful! The American system is working!

Seagal has made watchable movies (20 years ago) but apparently is still making cash off his DVD's. Fine. He has a modicum of success. I never said he didn't. All I said was I thought he is a self absorbed ass. BTW, if he was still so great, why isn't his movies going into the theaters? Why DVD's?
I think that reason is self apparent.

Look, he probably is pretty good at akido. He can shoot a pistol. So what. A lot of men can. Don't confuse who someone is in real life with the characters he plays on screen. If you like his films and acting, great! Remember the site we are conversing on is called the "Internet MOVIE Data Base", not the the "Internet ACTORS WHO ARE IN REAL LIFE EXACTLY WHAT THEY PRETEND TO BE ON FILM Data Base."

Enjoy his films. Just don't think he is anything anything more than he is...

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

[–] KennethX 16 years ago

what you said could all be very well true or untrue. from what i understand, Seagal was/is a highly respected Martial Aritist, and has the 7th Dan, whatever that is, lol.

I'm a Seagal fan, meaning that I like watching him in movies, he may be the biggest fake and douchebag in the world or the greatest human being, it doesn't really matter to me because - you're right about that - it's all about the movies anyway.

Same thing: I don't care what Tom Cruise does in real life - as long as he delivers on screen.

[–] TexasRaider 16 years ago

Actually, I wish Tom Cruise had a ponytail. My post would have been funnier had it been about him and HIS ponytail (if he had one).

Maybe instead of a ponytail, we could say the metaphor should be Hillary Clinton and Katie Holmes. They are both attached to annoying gas bag jerks and got dragged through the mud with them...

Nah...a ponytail is funnier than Katie Holmes.

But NOTHING is funnier than the Spanish Inquisition.
You weren't expecting the Spanish Inquisition?

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! MWA HA HA HA HA!

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

[–] koan_72 16 years ago

Leave it to a Texan to still attack Clinton for his minor character flaws after all these years, yet is mute about that current, monumental failure that is Bush. Way to pick your material.

[–] TexasRaider 16 years ago

Oh hahahahahah!
Are you kidding?
Minor character flaws? OK, you go hump a girl 20 years younger than you in the office on the job, stick a cigar up her happy place, lie to your staff and your wife & child about it, get on national TV and SWEAR you did nothing wrong, lie to your staff and the nation, get caught and drag you family through the mud while you destroy people to save your job.
What would your family and friends say about you?
Minor mistakes? You'd be lucky to get a job as a WalMart greeter.

And in case you don't remember, due to your own selective material picking, let me just remind you of some more numerous Clinton 'character flaws'...

Travelgate staff firings
Rose Law Firm scandal
Filegate - FBI file theft
Jennifer Flowers
Paula Jones
Juanita Broaddrick
Monica Lewinski
Webb Hubbell
Jim & Susan McDougal
Waco Massacre
Elian Gonzales disaster
Wen Ho Lee and Chinese theft of US missile technology
Massive donations to Clinton campaigns by China
Johnny Chung Fundraising Scandal
Hillary's Cattle Futures Trading fraud
Vince Foster's death
Botching Bosnia and failure to retaliate against terrorists
Cowardice in his actions after the USS Cole bombing
Selling the Lincoln bedroom
Ron Brown's death
Bombing an aspiring factoy, killing innocent people, to get Monica off the TV
Refusal to eliminate terrorists and trying to prosecute them as crooks
Refusing to take out Osama Bin Laden 3 times when offered by Pakistan.
Signing off on N. Korea getting a nuclear reactor
Dismantling the US Military
Faking photo ops over and over (dancing on the beach w/ Hillary, the D-Day cross of stones, etc.)
Perjury in front of Federal Judge
Revocation of law license for lying under oath
Destroying the White House and Oval Office before vacating in 2000.
Stealing hundred of items from the White House and Oval Office before being pressured to return them.
Massive pardon on Clinton's last day of murderers, terrorists and felons

and that just scratches the surface.

You libs are so selective. If GWB had done one tenth of what the Clintonistas had done you'd be screaming in the streets for revolution.

Face it, you know it, I know it. Bill Clinton was the most corrupt man ever elected President, but you don't care because you like his political ideology.

That's what so scary about you libs. You really don't believe in wrong or right - just getting your political way, even if it means destroying anyone who disagrees with you.

Anyone who can compare GWB as a man to Clinton is a sad, demented purple KoolAid drinker. I've met GWB several times and despite his political gaffes, he is a truly warm and genuine gentleman.

The secret service men I used to work with told me Clinton was the most arrogant, condescending, spoiled brat man-child they had ever seen (second hand info I admit, but I trust these men).

And being from Texas has nothing to do with it. In fact, we're pretty steamed at GWB for trying to let 50 million Mexicans into America to destroy it with their Socialist world view. I'm actually pretty disappointed in him for some of his political moves, but I can disagree about politics and stay level headed.
I just can't understand why you guys are so devoted to a man who has a lifetime of history and MOUNTAIN of evidence that shows what a sleazy crook he is.

And why is it you libs can NEVER EVER EVER take any legitimate criticism of Clinton without bashing Bush?

It's because WJC was such a putrid human and lying waste that you NEED to manufacture a worse President to cover for your pathetic Slick Willy.

Bush = pretty damn mediocre President who could have done a whole lot better.
Clinton = most immoral, corrupt human and first treasonous criminal to ever serve as President.

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

[–] TexasRaider 10 years ago

Until this current one.
Epic sadness...

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.