Guys like Connor are the ones who always complain that they are nice guys but women go for a-holes. However you can be a genuinely good guy and still succeed with women.
The problem with a guy like Connor is that he lacks the backbone to be assertive and not be manipulated, he is needy and constantly hounds Anna, and he is a complete push over. I think if he had called Anna on her $**t early on, and been more aggressive with what he wanted, he could have actually had a chance.
But he ended up turning into a puppy dog chasing after her.
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. I'm going to school you hard right now, because society at large doesn't like to tell you guys the truth. We let you feed each other these lies that you're victims or she's playing hard to get or you still have a chance with her if you just change up your technique or shouldn't be nice or you got friend zoned and she led you on. BULL.
The problem with Connor is that he went for a woman who was out of his league. Stand that actor up next to Bradley Cooper. You see what I mean? The girl you're chasing is chasing a better looking guy.
Guys, if you get friend zoned or rejected in any form, it's because you pursued a woman out of your league.
Don't think that by being a jerk you can attract a higher quality girl. This is bogus. Not that you should lack a back bone either, but there is a balance.
"Nice guys finish last." More lies. Self-declared "nice guys" are never
actual nice guys. I've witnessed first hand the "office Casanova" who hit on every 20- something female that passed through the building, including the interns. He got turned down left and right, always whining about how nice guys finish last and boo hoo. Any time a middle aged or overweight woman needed help, he ignored her. Some "nice guy." Let's get one thing straight-- women see right through the BS. We know you're only being a certain way because you want a certain thing from us.
In fact, when you're nice because you want something, that's not even actually being nice. It's working for a reward. But girls don't owe you anything just because you decided to be nice to them. We don't owe it to you to be attracted to you, to like you, to sleep with you, to date you, nothing. Nothing!
This is literally how your "logic" works: "I was nice to her, and she didn't like me. So I should've done the opposite action for the opposite reaction." Idiots!!! She didn't like you because she was never going to like you regardless. She wasn't attracted to you, or the chemistry wasn't there, or her heart was already caught up with someone else, or you weren't as "nice" as you thought you were, Whatever! She's just not into you! Get over it, stop obsessing and coming up with LAME reasons for why you couldn't get it, none of which have anything to do with personal accountability: SHE DIDN'T WANT
YOU. Sheesh, and they say girls are the crazy ones! Guys are so delusional. Instead of admitting she just didn't want you, you come up with some nonsense about how you should've been a jerk because that would've turned out better (huh??)
The truth about the friend zone is this: it's a nice way of telling you she can do better.
If you want to stop getting rejected, take an honest look at yourself and go for a girl within your own league. It's that simple. I know you don't want to "settle," but don't look at it that way. Look at it like you actually want to get the girl, not be stuck in a pit of bottomless despair and internet rants and filling each others heads with crazy ideas that if you were just a bigger jerk you'd get the better girl. It's all absolute nonsense.
Just be realistic with your goals and aspirations and you'll be fine. You're not a victim.
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aqib4
9 years ago
Silliness. All around silliness.
Have you never ended up with a girl hotter than one who recently rejected you? I about say looks-wise I am average/below average. My wife is much hotter than the last girl who rejected me just before I met her and she has a masters degree while the other one went to an open enrollment school after going to community college. When I was single I went with a friend to a speed dating party and got yeses from 3 of the 4 hottest girls while getting shot down by the average women.
You ever walk down the street and see a gorgeous girl with some guy and you go "what's she doing with him?" Happens all the time.
Now to the OP - Connor wasn't that nice and DIDN'T finish last. He started the movie on a date with Ginnifer Goodwin and ended with Drew Barrymore. So he struck out with I would put Ginnifer Goodwin over SoJo, but that's just me.
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Jupiter555555
9 years ago
Your post is utter "silliness."
You're extremely shallow. I never said it was ALL about looks (though I did mention looks once in my post.) I used the term "league" a lot but that isn't just about looks. It's all encompassing. There's a hierarchy, just like the animal kingdom. You don't have to like it but don't deny it. If you got "friendzoned," it's because the girl believed she could do better. She thought she could get a guy with more hair, more muscles, more money--whatever.
You're one of those guys that feeds other guys false hope. "My wife is much hotter than me, keep aiming for the stars." That's how guys end up getting shot down and feeling short changed.
What criteria are you even basing this on? So the other girl who shot you down was less hot and less educated than your current wife? That doesn't necessarily make her all-around better. Maybe your wife is a cheater with a violent temper. Just sayin. Your shallow paint-by-numbers criteria checklist isn't the only gauge of how good a person is.
You ever walk down the street and see a gorgeous girl with some guy and you go "what's she doing with him?" Happens all the time.
Yes, but I guarantee you that what those guys lack in physical appearance he makes up for with his bank account or in the sheets. So you still might be out of that girl's league.
It's not all about looks and it's not all visible to you. But if a guy keeps getting turned down/friendzoned, it's because he's aiming too high. Factual information. But go ahead, keep it up boys.. your teen angst, that for some lasts well into their 30's, is entertaining.
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andrereichenbacher
9 years ago
Five words for everyone to remember: money is quite the aphrodisiac.
Yep, ugly dudes who are young or old get women all the damn time. Cuz they're loaded. What the hell else would explain it?
And sometimes, the women actually come to love the men they are with that have all the money in the world. But then, some women in this world are just gold-digging whores. That's pretty much all there is to it.
As for Connor in this stupid movie, he needed balls and a backbone, whoever said it was absolutely right. And the fact that he wasn't wealthy had something to do with it, I'm sure. Too bad!
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Jupiter555555
9 years ago
He didn't need balls and a backbone, he needed to go for a girl in his league...which he found out by the end of the movie (Drew Barrymore isn't hot.)
Yep, ugly dudes who are young or old get women all the damn time. Cuz they're loaded. What the hell else would explain it?
Agree.
But then, some women in this world are just gold-digging whores. That's pretty much all there is to it.
Sorry I have to be one of those annoying people who has to point out the generalization. Trust me, there are gold digging men. You'll see it/notice it more and more as million dollar earning women become more common. I live in a big city where some women already have salaries in the millions per year and yes--gold digging, male bimbos do exist. It always takes the rest of the country to catch up to every new trend but give it time, my friend. You will see.
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aqib4
9 years ago
Yeah I'm the shallow one. You're the one talking about leagues. I played the game long enough before settling down to know that leagues pretty much went out the window once you were out of school. If you surveyed a group of guys and asked them to rank the female characters in this movie in terms of which one they would date you would get a lot of different answers. Personally I would have Gigi as my #1 choice, but most guys don't. Dating is not like the NBA draft where people generally agree who is better than who. Different people look for different traits and I've seen enough instances where extremely desirable women stayed single because too many guys didn't have the guts to ask them out.
Plenty of my guy friends who were in the friendzone so long they had to update their voter registration wound up with great girls. So yeah if some average guy in a dry spell sees me with my wife and thinks he can get a girl who according to your shallow view of the world would be out of his league that's fine with me because if it can happen for me and so many other guys it could happen for them too.
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Jupiter555555
9 years ago
Yeah I'm the shallow one. You're the one talking about leagues.
I addressed that in my post above when I said, and I quote directly: "I used the term "league" a lot but that isn't just about looks. It's all encompassing. There's a hierarchy, just like the animal kingdom. You don't have to like it but don't deny it. If you got "friendzoned," it's because the girl believed she could do better."
Reading comprehension skills lacking. Grammar on fleek though.
I played the game long enough before settling down to know that leagues pretty much went out the window once you were out of school.
hahahahahaha that's a good one. Leagues are a fact of every facet of life. Professionally and personally, there are always "leagues." They're not the same as they were in school, but they're there. You're completely delusional to deny this. It's hilarious.
Dating is not like the NBA draft where people generally agree who is better than who.
Oh I totally agree. That's why I made it clear that I don't know which criteria you or anyone else uses, but a girl who friendzones a guy does so because SHE believes she can do better... in what way, I don't claim to know...but I do know for a fact that that is why. More money, better looking, better personality, I have no idea in what aspect...but there's no other reason she would've friendzoned him. She believes she can get someone better.
So yeah if some average guy in a dry spell sees me with my wife and thinks he can get a girl who according to your shallow view of the world would be out of his league that's fine with me because if it can happen for me and so many other guys it could happen for them too.
Yeah and people win the lottery too, that doesn't make it par for the course. Go ahead and keep pumping guys' heads with ideas that they too can get a girl who is, I know you won't like this but I'm not gonna tip toe, better than them... because it's possible... a lot of things are possible, that doesn't make them likely. That's how guys get bitter and end up shooting up random places, because no one tells them the truth: "Just go for a girl in your own league," Yeah I know that's not politically correct to say, so no one says it, and it leads to a lot of guys wasting a lot of time and more importantly getting really really frustrated, bitter and resentful. But that's cool with me too lol. Peace.
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cwamne_h
9 years ago
I agree with you, dating is all about chemistry, relating, and a little with attraction. Attraction is not so important, but can't date someone that repulses you. Attraction is not high on the list of someone with good intentions, neither is money. I didn't choose who I dated based on looks, its about clicking with someone. Kim Kardashian has money and is very attractive, I'm sure I would not wanna be with her. I'm pretty sure she would be like out of my league, but would she be in mines? No, personality wise she wouldn't, so its not at all about leagues. You like who you like, its as simple as that. Now you can like someone and turn them down because they don't have their stuff together, which is reasonable clearly. But when someone says league, they mean looks and money pretty much. Nothing wrong with wanting someone to have a job, but to want that person to make a certain amount is pretty off.
Honestly people arguing the league thing and the how bad nice guys are, pretty much are just trying to make themselves feel better or bigger. Some nice guys like Connor, are not that nice, true. Well maybe not entirely, if he didn't like Gigi so what, you can't force that. If he was chasing the hot girl then yeah. There's nothing wrong with being the nice guy and chasing a girl like that, but when its like Connor's situation he should back off. You can't force someone to like you and should keep your dignity and move on. The point is to go after someone for the right reasons. She wasn't out of Connor's league, she was just in love with someone else and didn't like him like that. Nothing to do with his looks, its personality.
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MarblesLove
9 years ago
I totally agree with you. It's not about leagues, it's about chemistry, relating and attraction.
Once upon a time there was a magical place where it never rained. The end.
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