I watched this film today. I myself am newly pregnant and trying to get as much information as I can about midwives and home birth. I love the idea of being in comfortable surroundings, with lots of support and my own bathroom etc. However, is there absolutely no help with the pain? Nothing at all? Is it all just breathing? This part still scares me - especially after watching these women in the film!
shareMy understanding is that moving around (as opposed to lying still in the doctor-convenient flat-on-the-table position) greatly reduces the pain; although some remains, it's far less than what is customarily associated with birth. But the midwives did carry full medical bags, including some kinds of pain relief.
I recall from a net friend who recently gave birth that she didn't feel much pain at all until she got pitocin. She knew that was the case, and tried to avoid getting it at all, but the doctors pressured her into taking it anyway (after 20+ hours of flat-on-her-back labor), and she relented and allowed it. It was only after the pitocin that the pain really got intense.
My impression that movement relieves is largely based on the movie itself. Maybe I got a different impression because of the contrast between the natural-birth women in the movie and the hospital-birth experience of my net friend.
I had an out of hospital birth with my daughter. A bathtub or birthing pool (an inflatable kiddie pool works well too as long as it has deep sides) is known as an "aquadural." The warm water takes away most discomfort of the contractions.
But honestly, the best way to not feel the pain, IMO, is to accept it, relax into it rather than tense away. What was it Pippin Took said in LOTR? "The closer we are to danger the further we are from trouble."? Something like that. Knowing the pain, accepting it, putting it mentally into a little ball and studying it and allowing it will be a huge help. Not only in labor, but in any pain you have. If you weren't pregnant yet I'd tell you to practice during your period. Relax your abs during a cramp (because period cramps are contractions, they're expelling the lining instead of a baby) and just let it happen. Then notice what it feels like. Just step back from the pain and reflect on it.
I would not expect you to go into labor thinking these hippie dippie thoughts and have them work, but they do. I learned them only after my daughter was born, but I've found they've worked well for surgeries since. Yes it hurts, it's a sharp pain, I can feel it in a very specific location, and no I just don't feel like doing anything about it.
Midwives can also do something called a saline injection. I'm not sure how it works, but they inject right above your hip bones in your back a bit of warm saline. That was not my cup of tea, so I didn't ask about it beyond the, "what do you guys have?" I crinkled my nose, said ew, and went on.
Counterpressure is also a wonderful tool to have in your bag. You'll have to learn what works for you, and it'll change during labor. When my labor started I had my husband push on the small of my back as hard as he could. It helped tremendously. My doula tried pressure points on my hips, and that was amazingly comfortable as well at a different time.
That brings me on to doulas. The word "doula" is Greek for "slave." Her job is to be with you. She's not medical, she's not an employee of the hospital, birthing center, or midwife. Her job is to wipe your brow, suggest you change positions, get you a drink or something to eat. In our case she washed my nightgown when it got dirty in the birthing room sink, then hung it to dry (I put on a gown). She bought my husband breakfast and drinks for both of us since he forgot his wallet. She came to my house at 3 a.m. to offer support, and stayed with us until the birth and then a few hours after. She came once again a few weeks later and did my dishes for me. Her job is to make your life easier. However she can. She'll often be a mother, they go through training, and while they're not medical they often bring experience with them. They may know just the way to position yourself to help the baby come through. They may be able to tell, just listening to you, where you are in your labor and how soon the midwife should arrive, or if you should call her in the first place. She'll be there to literally support you if necessary. I paid $400 for mine, and she was worth every cent, every penny. I'd have happily paid her $1000 and still considered it money well spent. You can go to dona.org to look for a doula near you. If you want a doula but are balking at the cost, see if there are doulas in training. They need births to get completely certified, but they are training to learn, and they cannot accept money.
There are a lot of things you can do to empower yourself before your labor. Read books (Ina May Gaskin is big, Sheila kitzinger, Marsden Wagner, I also love Meredith Small's books, though they're not birthing per se, and of course, Dr. Sears and RN Sears' The Birth Book, a must read), take classes. Realize that women have been doing this for hundreds of thousands of years. And before humans mammals have been doing it since mammals came to be. Your body is designed for this. It can and will do it.
Get in touch with women, like me, who have had natural childbirths. Decide what you really want. Write a birth plan. Get with a midwife. Knowledge is power. And prepare to enjoy it! I know that sounds crazy, but now, with a five and a half year old and no desire to have more children, the only thing I'd redo is the labor right now. It is such an incredible experience! The things you feel and what your body can do will be just astonishing to witness and moreso to be inside of. When all is said and done, and you look back on it, you will just have the biggest WOW of your life. Nothing will come close. It never can. The serotonin high you will be riding will be the best rush of your life.
Congratulations and enjoy your experience!!!
Thank you so much for all of the wonderful advice! I am printing out your reply for my husband to read too. :) Very very informative!
shareHi Felicia,
Congrats on your pregnancy! I would suggest taking a Bradley Method class. It was sooo informative and a way for my husband to feel more involved. We had our baby girl at home with the help of a midwife and doula. They both almost missed it though! I feel the class helped us through the 6 hours of labor by ourselves! Once they got there I pushed for 20 minutes and out popped my 8lb 3 oz girl. As far as pain relief goes, I was literally running around the house in a panic. But then when I calmed down and stopped being scared, the pain went away. My midwife kept telling me that if I focus on the pain and my fears that it will be worse and she was right! As soon as I relaxed and stopped being afraid, it was like a calmness came over me and I was able to muster up ever ounce of strength that I had and meet my angel!
We plan on having at least 2 more children and I would not have the births any other way. It was a magical experience. Plus my recovery was fast. I had no tearing. I feel that if you take your pregnancy as a way to bond and prepare for birth that it will help you so much when the big day comes. Think of it like if you were going to run a marathon. You'd train for it, you wouldn't just sit around and then show up for the race :) I exercised (bradley method has lots of exercises to help prepare for labor and I walked A LOT!), ate healthy foods, we did relaxation techniques, perineal massage, you name it. And untimately it brought my husband and I closer and make my daughters birth that much more special.
Hope this helps, I know it's a lot of rambling but I feel so strongly about this. So many of my friends complain and say that giving birth is awful and they have a resentment towards their kids. That makes me so sad.
Regards, Pamela
no offense but this is all bullsh!t...I have 5 children. My first I chose to take no drugs and almost died....It was 3 days of me vomiting from the pain....I walked constantly (oooh, even though i was in a hosptial they actually had me moving,,not just laying on a bed like you guys claim"..)
I laid in a bathtub for hours....um, no relief....
my child was stressed and would NOT come out...
by the fourth i took an epidural and you know what?? that little genius just slid right out....and guees what else??? she is intelligent..oh my gosh, a hospital birth child who is smart???? crazy....
You're not a little anything...
Maybe I'm blind, but I don't recall anyone writing that babies born in hospitals are more likely to have down syndrome or some other mental issue on this thread. Where does this "my baby is smarter than your baby" thought come from?
You're the one that sounds crazy, Carl. Plus I wasn't aware that men could have babies, Mr. Spackler.
And if you are tensed up in a bathrub and would rather have drugs, than I'm sure your body will feel better after you are doped up. And not everybody has the same pain thresolds or hospital experience. Some women's hospital experiences are pure nightmares and some have a more or less plesant experience. i think part of that depends on where you go, who is with you and your birthing plan and whether things get complicated.
Everyone, do what makes you comfortable. If drugs and doctors make you comfortable, go for it. if your home and natural childbirth makes you comfortable, go that route. This is not something worth arguing over, since it's a personal choice, but I'd believe a woman over a rude Mr. Carl Spackler any day.
"But honestly, the best way to not feel the pain, IMO, is to accept it, relax into it rather than tense away"
Best advice you're ever going to get, right there.
I had 4 home births, 1 home labor and transfer (high fever at the end of labor), and 1 induction. All without pain meds; not even my 10-1/2 pound daughter that had to be induced as she was 3 weeks late.
You can do it. Trust your body.
All the posts here have been very helpful and informative, but I would also like to add, you know, things happen during labor. It's real pain, and you should have the option and information to go with pain medication too, without feeling like you "missed out" on the experience of birth or that you are somehow less of a mom because - horrors! - you took care of yourself. As women, even now in 2008, we are programmed to put ourselves second or lower to the needs of children, husbands, parents, whatever. So do your reading, talk to people, get all the info you can, but also know this is your experience, and it will be different from everyone else. Your body is not like anyone else's; who knows what your labor will be like? So in your preparations, keep ALL the options available to yourself. Take care of yourself, and have no apologies or regrets about your decisions. The labor and delivery is one event; the end result is a healthy baby and the life you will share with him/her, not how they got into the world.
shareAnother poster already said this, but I highly recommend researching and even taking a class on the Bradley method. It helps you understand why you don't even need the pain medication. Your body is just doing what it needs to do, and if you accept it and just let it go, you will be able to endure it. I think the best part of the class were the exercises and nutrition that you learn which help your body to be in the best possible condition and the baby be in the best possible position to have the least painful birth. Best of luck!! I hope you will realize that you can trust your body!
shareI'm pregnant for the first time but I have learned a lot of pain management from having severe migraines. Creating this child has been a painful process mentally and physically. One thing I have learned through my experience with this process and migraines that has worked with other types of pains is that you must relax as much as possible. The more you resist and tense up the pain will double in effect. It can be hard to relax but make of list of things that would relax you and make you happy. Perhaps imagine being able to hold the baby. Just don't focus or give into the pain. I really hope that I can have a home birth or at least a natural birth. I've already been told I must see a high-risk obstretician who prefers cesareans at 38 weeks with women like me. I'm planning to see another natural birth ob/gyn I wish you the best.
shareI'm not trying to scare you, but it will hurt like hell. Early labor is alright but when the heavy labor hits, you're going to wish you were somewhere else. I had an emergency C-section since my firstborn was too big to go through. My second child was done via C-section to avoid any problems.
And at last glance, at home C-section kits are non-existent. You're better off seeing this film and give birth in the hospital, where they have people trained in handling newborns.
"Why don't you have another beer?"-Scott Stevens
torquemama2002- What a stupid thing to say that she should "give birth in the hospital, where they have people trained in handling newborns". Midwives have a lot of experience with newborns, and they don't want to put a pitocin IV in your arm the second you walk in the door.
Well, moron, what is a midwife going to do if the expectant mother needs an emergency C-section? Pray for a miracle. How will a midwife handle an unborn baby who lost oxygen? Or a mother who bleeds out too much?
Come into the 20th Century, dear.
"Why don't you have another beer?"-Scott Stevens
as previously stated- every birth is different. for my first, my husband and i are thinking that a birthing centre with a midwife is a good option because the centre has emergency services on hand- they have an ambulance at the centre and we are mere minutes from one of michigan's hospitals. this way, we can start out with a natural birth (water, we think), and, if needed, move on.
the thing with epidurals and i.v.s is that some people will increase in stress when the needle is near them- i have severe panic reactions to injections- it has to do with previous experience, etc., and i have been training myself to react differently, but it still makes everything go all funky in my body and psyche. adding that stress to childbirth seems like something we should ultimately avoid- yes, let's add sheer panic to an already nervous mother in labour. sounds like a good idea...no.
so everyone is different, and hospitals may just make things worse if people have predispositions against the treatment they administer (hospitals make me shakey- again, stress i want to avoid when the day comes i need to give birth). some people who have a healthy labour, low risk circumstances, and other conditions against hospitals may just want to avoid them all-together. it may be better for the mother and child and lessen the stress of the process. giving birth prone is one of the least natural positions to give birth in- squatting is much more in line with how the body works and gravity can do some work there to help out. this research has helped my decision.
research, opinions, these things help give us all rounded views of how people have experienced birth. the best decisions come when you consider them in light of your situation and discuss your options with your family and a medical professional you know you can trust absolutely (mine will be my GP- wonderful person that he is). read all you can, watch movies, read 'our bodies ourselves' and listen to what your instincts tell you are correct.
cheers-
~wildeflower
"I'm not trying to scare you, but it will hurt like hell. Early labor is alright but when the heavy labor hits, you're going to wish you were somewhere else."
The first thing your unqualified statement does is invoke fear. The second thing is that even you go on to say how no two births are the same, yet you are telling her it is going to be painful because yours was. Third, while you are accurate in saying that early labor is less painful than active or transitional, you're assumption that anything can be done once you hit the most intense part (transition) is false.
The most intense and possibly painful part of labor is transition. Transition is when the woman will go from 7cm-10cm within a very short period of time and the contractions will become so powerful as to cause the woman to bear down. When this phase is occurring, nothing can be done to alleviate its intensity. This is when even if you want pain meds you will be refused as it will interfere with the birth process and cause serious problems. This is the phase when all women need to be alert and reading their body's cues so as to know what to do and when to do it.
Pain meds of any kind interfere with the entire birth process and increase the risk for emergency c-section dramatically. Yes, every woman should do the necessary research when it comes to giving birth, but no woman should be made to feel she is incapable of doing something without medical intervention that her body was designed to do naturally.
Sweetie, I'm a female. I have two children. I know what the whole labor process feels like. After going through 12 hours of hard labor and receiving an emergency C-section, I do feel qualified in birth. Really, in your paisely colored world, will a midwife be able to do an emergency C-section?
Besides, being administered drugs, there's only a few minutes to take the baby out before its phased. It's not like the whole labor process the baby will be doped up.
"Why don't you have another beer?"-Scott Stevens
First off, your condescension is uncalled for and unnecessary. Also, where did I ever imply that you weren't female? If you actually read what I typed, then you would have seen where I mentioned your birth experience vs another's.
I have three children. What's your point? Again, your first post directly states that no two birth experiences are the same, but then you go on to use yours as some sort of basis for all others. You've given birth. Congrats. It's anecdotal at best.
You didn't go through twelve hours of "hard labor". You went through active labor which varies in intensity. Transition is not "only a few minutes." It can last up to three hours. Again, like you have pointed out, it would be different for everyone. Just because you had a difficult time does not mean everyone will (by your own admission). In fact, no one here ever said it would be easy. What people here are alluding to is that if women gave themselves a chance and allowed only minimal intervention they would probably find that labor is actually more tolerable than most hospitals and medical professionals would have you believe. However, since most intervention has started before you even hit the bed most women will never know because once the interventions begin it is a snowball effect that calls for more and more interventions to be put into play.
Perhaps you could benefit from a bit more research, regardless of how many children you have already birthed.
Well you seem like a know it all. Can you guess how many fingers I'm holding up? And which finger it is?
Home birth is far too dangerous these days. Babies are being born bigger, with complications. Hospitals are the best place to birth.
"Why don't you have another beer?"-Scott Stevens
Wow. You're rude. Not a know-it-all, just educated and always learning. It is unfortunate for you that rather than opening your mind and perhaps listening to what is being said and educating yourself you seem to only be able to resort to name-calling and obscene gestures as your defense tactic.
"Home birth is far too dangerous these days. Babies are being born bigger, with complications. Hospitals are the best place to birth."
Got anything to back this up? Seriously. Exposure to MRSA, VRE, Hepatitis, etc, is safe to you? Being bullied into doing something you don't want to do and that may even seem dangerous is safe to you? Being ignored is safe to you? Not seeing your doctor, the person "in charge of your birth", much (if at all) until you are ready to push is safe to you? Since when is a big baby a reason for medical intervention? Color me confused. And most technology used to predict the newborn's size is off by as much as three pounds, but let's err on the side of caution because it makes much more sense to perform unnecessary surgery and incapacitate a new mother because the baby MIGHT be nine pounds, but likely will be six or seven. And since when can't a woman birth a nine or ten pound baby? It has been done safely before and without medical intervention. Your statement is completely unsubstantiated.
Your idea of safety is most definitely very different from mine and that of many others.
Have a great day!
"Sweetie, I'm a female. I have two children. I know what the whole labor process feels like. After going through 12 hours of hard labor and receiving an emergency C-section, I do feel qualified in birth..."
actually Sweetie, you had two babies hacked out of your abdomen so you are not "qualified in birth"
Yes, I am, since I carried them for 8.5 months in my womb.
The New York Rangers suck. And Sidney Crosby is a cry baby!
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I guess there are people who are as into the natural childbirth movement as there are into the intervention movement. I guess I just don't see the big deal empowering women to make their own choices. If woman A wants to give birth at home with a doula and has done her research and knows the risks and benefits then she should be able to do that without judgment. If woman B wants an epidural and induction and makes an informed decision to do so, so be it. If woman C wants an elective c/s, so be it! Sure, the elective c/s is just that - ELECTIVE. But has it occurred to anyone that an elective c/s eliminates the risk of the emergent c/s (which carries high morbidity and mortality) by 100%? Also, women (and men for that matter) have unnecessary cosmetic surgery everyday in this country (cosmetic). So why have we come to a point where we accept that behavior but still judge women who choose to have elective c/s? I don't get it.
Also, passiondiva, this statement is completely incorrect.
"Pain meds of any kind interfere with the entire birth process and increase the risk for emergency c-section dramatically."
There is no evidence to support this claim.
Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up! - Tobias Funke
I had my daughter naturally and there wasn't much pain...surprisingly. She was over 9 pounds! But I also had a fast labor.
I have a friend that is a mid-wife and in previous conversations she has said she uses massage and water therapy to relax the muscles so there is much less pain.