MovieChat Forums > Surrogates (2009) Discussion > How to *properly* watch a movie

How to properly watch a movie

posted 15 years ago by canefaitrien
204 replies | jump to latest

While Surrogates wasn't exactly an astoundingly groundbreaking film, it was still, in all respects, topnotch entertainment; most especially if you know how to "lose yourself" when watching movies - a skill that, surprisingly, MOST moviegoers do not have.

It is because of this reason that I'm writing this topic.

Surrogates could've been great for me; if not for the fact that I was surrounded by indecent and uncultured people throughout the entire movie. Just how many times must promotional movie materials (Kung Fu Panda, Ice Age, etc.) remind the audience to put their phones on silent mode? Or to not talk during suspenseful scenes? Or TO NOT ANSWER A DAMN PHONE DURING THE MOVIE?

My friends, I hope you assist me in compiling this short list and spreading it throughout IMDB. Let the indecency stop. Help me help you have a better movie experience (so to speak).

Here are some ground rules that needs to be observed:

RULE 1: You only have ONE (1) chance to FULLY experience everything the movie has to offer. After that, you'll no longer be surprised, thrilled, astounded, dumbfounded, aghast with mystery or excitement about it since you've already seen it; henceforth, your brain already have vague collections of it. In the name of all that is holy, DO NOT RUIN THAT ONE CHANCE.

RULE 2: Movies are products of an advanced civilization. By all means, BE CIVILIZED. Really, some people are just.... GHA!!!!

RULE 3: If someone scolds or chides you, simply offer your apology and DO NOT REACT AGGRESSIVELY. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. In all my years of watching movies, some people unbelievably still have the nerve to be angry after being told to stop talking with their phones. My goodness.

RULE 4: Turn off your cellphone. Otherwise, put it on silent mode. We don't care about your fancy ring tone or your Mom calling you because you snuck out. Seriously, how many must the theater tell you to do that?

RULE 5: While I have nothing against babies, please do not bring them to the cinema. There's nothing more annoying than a baby crying right in the middle of a fight scene or a serial killer chase.

RULE 6: Again, I have nothing against autistic and special children. But for the love of Athena! Please, please, please! Do us all a favor and DO NOT bring them to the cinema, IF they have aggressive or wild tendencies. I once encountered a family who brought a little autistic girl with them WHO LITERALLY THREW A SHOE TO ANOTHER PERSON a few seats up front. Poor guy.

NOTE: I know it may seem mean, or otherwise, inhuman of me to deny babies and special children the privilege of watching movies. If so, I'm humbly sorry. But that's just the way it should be.

RULE 7: STOP TALKING. In fact, DON'T TALK, at all, unless someone's dying. If you have to talk, try doing so with the least amount of disturbance.

RULE 8: DO NOT EXPLAIN or even DISCUSS THE MOVIE D-U-R-I-N-G the movie. Because, people usually do that during drinking sessions, sleepovers, after-sex, picnics or over the internet. I don't care if you already knew who the killer was or that Optimus Prime is your favorite character. You can tell me everything AFTER THE MOVIE.

RULE 9: If you're gonna read a text message, or otherwise, check the time through your phone, PLEASE DO SO WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF DISTURBANCE. DO NOT RAISE YOUR PHONE IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE. I don't care if your crush sent you hugs and kisses or if your Dad just told you he'd just recently deposited your yearly allowance. Sheesh. Imagine a scene where our heroine goes into a dark room - thence, making the entire theater dark - AND THEN A BRIGHTLY-LIT CELLPHONE FLASHES RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! DAMMIT!

RULE 10: DO NOT exaggerate your laughter. Please. Do this, only if you're watching one of the "[Blank] Movie" Franchises (i.e. Date Movie, Superhero Movie) or the "Rip-Offs" Franchises (i.e. Meet the Spartans)

RULE 11: DO NOT PREEMPT THE MOVIE. If you know what the character is going to say, don't yell it out loud or even say it! I don't care if you're trying to look cool in front of your date. If she knows better, she'd dump you right then and there.

RULE 12: If you're going to answer a call, PLEASE GO OUT. It's not like you can't come back in, correct? In the name of ODIN! It's that simple!

RULE 13: If you're watching a movie with friends, please try to minimize the noise. I know what it's like to hang out with a lot of teenagers (because I used to be one, duh?). DO NOT TRY TO GRAB PEOPLE'S ATTENTION. SERIOUSLY, IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU LOOK COOL.

RULE 14: If you're too stubborn, or too "cool", to even follow these rules, then at least try going to the cinema when there are the least number of possible audiences. Better yet, stick to DVDs and Blu-Rays. Do us all a favor, please.

RULE 15: TO PARENTS - SHUT YOUR KID UP. Don't make others do it. Please. You want your kid to be like Akon? Scold him/her, please!

If you have something more to add, please do so.

If you have any violent reactions, or are otherwise, offended by what I wrote, then I'll gladly accept and answer any and all of your responses.

Peace.

Recently changed ID to "canefaitrien"

[–] pgw20 15 years ago

Let's not forget those darn seat kickers. And those people who think it's okay to stick their feet between the seats infront of them, taking up your elbow room.

Or how about when the theater is virtually empty, and a couple comes in late and sits directly behind you. Beyond annoying.

[–] nutsberryfarm 15 years ago

rule 18-face the towards the screen to see the movie in the 'best possible way'.

---------------------------------------
"Rue the day?" Who talks like that?

[–] oli_48 14 years ago

i really have no clue what country you guys are from, ive never experienced any of the things youre describing here in sweden, in all of my life... we even have short ads before the movie starts telling the people to turn off their phones. and i cant see anyone answering their phone during a movie, i doubt anyone would have the balls to do that. the only sounds i hear from my fellow moviegoers are laughters and popcorn crunching

[–] x4nit0s 14 years ago

The poster is most likely from America, this country is packed with scummy people who I wouldn't bother to apply my brakes for when they are crossing the street if it weren't for laws preventing such behavior.

[–] Ben_times_10 14 years ago

I swear i was a European born in the states... because it never ceases to amaze me that people do, in fact, act like this in a theatre.

I saw paranormal activity with a date... I knew I could only see this movie once... and some large group of chicks with "macho" dude all yelled how not scary that movie is, or how bored they were. Oh, and some drunk guy fell onto my date from 5 rows behind us.

Kinda wanted to start a fight, it was that bad... but no, i just watched the movie and wasted two hours of my life because of the distractions, not the movie

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] AnotherSchmoe 14 years ago

"I swear i was a European born in the states... because it never ceases to amaze me that people do, in fact, act like this in a theatre."

You and me both. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of great people here, but for every good person there are at least 3 scummy/obnoxious/disrespectful/borderline-criminal ones. Most unfortunate.

[–] gotmyorangecrush 8 years ago

The idea that this is limited to Americans and the US is nothing short of laughable. I travel extensively with my job and have seen films in theaters in tons of different countries and I can promise you, this is just as big of an issue in other first world countries as it is in America. Anyone suggesting otherwise is completely full of crap. This is especially true with the cell phones issues. As for the whole, "for every good person there are at least 3 scummy people", what a load of nonsense.

My advice would be to move if you honestly feel that away about the city you live in because there are plenty of great places to live in the US where that figure you just posted is again nothing short of laughable. Moab Utah is a perfect example. 99.9% of the people you will meet there are amazing people. Just super friendly and just an absolutely amazing town. And I could give plenty of other examples as well.

Honestly, I would take a good hard look in the mirror if you honestly think that statistic is anywhere near accurate as chances are if you are experiencing that level of jacka*s's to quality people then there is a VERY GOOD chance that it has a LOT to do with yourself. And you always have the option of leaving the US if you find living in the states that unbearable. Nobody is forcing you to live in the US.

Still Shooting With Film!

[–] mr_bennett 14 years ago

This made me laugh!! :)

[–] proteus122 14 years ago

I'm from Canada and it's the same here. People don't give a hoot about anybody but themselves. No consideration for the feelings of others; no thoughtfulness; Self-centered and egoistic.

In all I'd say it's probably a cultural trait rather than a national trait. That's right First World, you're a bunch of a$$holes!

[–] gary-chris 14 years ago

Take a guess. It's America , land of the slovenly and ignorant.

[–] gotmyorangecrush 8 years ago

Its the same in every other first world country as well. If you think otherwise, just do some traveling. It won't take long to come to the realization that every single problem, short of the number of guns in the US, is in every other first world country out there. The people runnning around these boards thinking the US is so much worse are living in a fairy tale.

Still Shooting With Film!

[–] TheUnwashedMass 14 years ago

You get the same stuff here in England. People must have better manners in Sweden.

http://theintermittentsprocket.blogspot.com/

[–] jubiejewels 14 years ago

Hi Oli,
Just to let ya know, I believe that the main poster on this subject is from America.
I understand EXACTLY, being an American, emabarrased as I may be about it.
A**holes,,, America is full of 'em.
They have no self respect, so no respect for others.
It sucks, but we are human.,.,,

Jubie

"Live Long and Prosper"
Nanu nanu

[–] GroovyMovieGuy 14 years ago

Every country is full of *beep* The key is really how tolerant you as a person are. You'll never escape inconsiderate people.

_________________________________________
Reading this while smoking may cause lung disease.

[–] jubiejewels 14 years ago

Hi GroovyGuy!
I have to agree with you,,luckily I have a mind like an umbrella,,I keep it open and it works great!
Yes, you're right,,there's always the good and bad side of things especially people. Where ever they may come from.

Jubie

"Live Long and Prosper"
Nanu nanu

[–] gotmyorangecrush 8 years ago

Ah, someone with some actual intelligence. How shocking.

Still Shooting With Film!

[–] hiverious 14 years ago

I watched The Omen remake in a theatre in Australia and the movie was full of boyfriends laughing and making fun of their girlfriends for being scared and some dude sitting 2 rows behind me answered his phone and then had a half hour long conversation during the movie.

Similar happenings during Cloverfield where a bunch of people and their dates came in and started loudly talking about how the movie was weird because it was a found footage movie and it wasn't what they were expecting and therefore it was a horrible movie while their girlfriends laughed at their remarks.

Seriously, a cinema is a public space! If you do not have the decency to consider other people then you have no right to watch a movie at the movies.

[–] pickeljuicy 14 years ago

Wow, you Swedes are soooooo polite.

[–] mowbie 14 years ago

"i really have no clue what country you guys are from, ive never experienced any of the things youre describing here in sweden, in all of my life... we even have short ads before the movie starts telling the people to turn off their phones. and i cant see anyone answering their phone during a movie, i doubt anyone would have the balls to do that. the only sounds i hear from my fellow moviegoers are laughters and popcorn crunching"

Amen! What uncivilized areas of the globe do these people live?
I may run into one or two of the problems noted over a years time.
But no way near the excess described.

[–] vargstra 8 years ago

I'm from Norway, and this goes for me as well. People behave. Except in 2006 when I watched The Grudge 2. I think it was a bad movie, but I don't know, cause there were so many teenagers yelling all the time and throwing things. After that I dreaded to go to teen movies. I saw the new Hungergames movie in the theater last month, and feared the worst, but it was good. Teenagers here seem to have calmed down the last 9 years. In public too, you see less punks and more wannabe-adults than before. In 2006 I had just about finnished being a teenager, and was ashamed and annoyed of their behavior, while now, much less a teenager I get annoyed that they are TOO adult, and have straight backs and always want to act appropriate. Live a little when you're young! Except at the movies, there you could sit still and shut up

[–] gotmyorangecrush 8 years ago

The funny thing is that your trying to make large sweeping statements about the behavior of people going to see particular films and yet you are only have a single viewing experience with which to make that statement. Just because you had a theatre that was good with the Hunger Games doesn't mean everyone else had the same experience. Teenagers have seemed to calm down over the last 9 months? Please, lol. I can promise you the teenagers in your country are still behaving like teenagers. Just because you had some quality movie going experiences doesn't for a second suggest that there has been some sort of large scale change in how teenagers are behaving in your country, lol. I'm sorry, but this post is nothing short of absurd.

Still Shooting With Film!

[–] jubiejewels 14 years ago

TOTALLY!!!!!!!
Jubie

"Live Long and Prosper"
Nanu nanu

[–] Mr_Dandelion 15 years ago

What's wrong with Akon?

EDIT: also, I thought it was funny that you used Athena and Odin, two different cultural gods.

World Trade is a death machine.

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] chilone 10 years ago

What's wrong with Akon?

Nothing, if you like talentless, ebonics garbage.

I don't love her.. She kicked me in the face!!

[–] webslinger4790 15 years ago

I know how to "get lost" in movies. This movie was just bad.

Congrats on writing a really incoherent, pig-headed list. I personally don't give a crap about any of YOUR rules, more so the fact that you wrote them and now they are rules. I don't have to model my movie going experience after yours.

I'm going to help you out a little bit because it seems you need some assistance in shortening this mindless drivel: All 15 of your "rules" can be condensed into "When you go to the movies be respectful to the other people in the audience." Was that really so hard?

Side-note: Not having the skill to "lose yourself" has absolutely nothing to do with these rules. Your post is retarded.

[–] mjesus 15 years ago

So i guess your one of the *beep*-tards that likes to be on their cell phone, talk, and be just generally disruptive during a movie. You have no respect for anyone. Regardless of your opinion of the movie, these rules should be followed.

[–] KorakSreaxin 15 years ago

To the OP, that's probably one of the best posts I've seen on IMDB. Thank You.

[–] covenant12 15 years ago

You really lack reading comprehension skills.

You saw Dingleberries?

[–] geoffblawson 11 years ago

Yes. I agree America is the land of the scummy and degenerate. But where are those people from? Europe, Asia, South America, Africa. We don't have natives anymore or people who can actually consider themselves homegrown Americans. Everyone is from somewhere else and everyone brought with them their own set of morals and values which aren't equal to everyone elses AND which probably insults another non native in some way. So sure, you can call us scummy and degenerate but think twice about that because you are actually calling your own native (whatever country you came from) that.

Rule #2: Double Tap
Rule #32: Enjoy the little things

[–] sikboy21 15 years ago

I agree with you somewhat. The list is long and redundant. The poster was obviously ranting and that's allowed around here.

The problem is that some people have no concept of respect. Your reply makes you look like one of them.

Will someone get Greenglass a f*#king steadicam?!

[–] majictiger3-1 15 years ago

I totally agree with you sikboy21.........and to take it a step further, I think that the original poster should just rent dvds and stay the hell home!

[–] proteus122 14 years ago

That's what I do. I haven't been to a movie in ages. Too many a$$holes; too expensive; too much hassle.

It's funny though that the inconsiderate pr*cks are helping to destroy the movie industry. All the better in the end, they will then have to stay home and not bother people.

[–] gotmyorangecrush 8 years ago

They will have to stay home and not bother people? Helping to destroy the movie industry? You do realize the number of theaters has increased considerably over the years and continues to grow year after year. On top of that, Hollywood has basically seen record profits year on year for the better part of a decade. So I can promise you that nobody will have to stay home. You basically have this completely 100% backwards. People will only have more and more theatre going options as the years go by.

Still Shooting With Film!

[–] blueday1 15 years ago

Cane very funny post, one of the best I've read. Websling you are an idiot you criticized without even reading... or you just missed the purpose of the original post.

[–] tindog 15 years ago

Wow webslinger, issues?

I think the rules are all good and apparently a condensed "When you go to the movies be respectful to the other people in the audience"... is no where near enough because most respectful people experience these problems in rudeness and disrespect more often than not, even with big onscreen reminders. And really "incoherent" "pig-headed" "I personally don't give a crap"... get over yourself.

[–] liquidfirex 14 years ago

The point, you missed it.

[–] SharpiePen 14 years ago

the point is, this is redundant. why take your phone to the movies at all by the way? can anyone live 9 minutes withut skin to skin contact with a phone? . and why text message that you are textmessaging during a movie? isnt it cheaper to text message while youre not at the movies?

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] 11 years ago

[deleted]

[–] whjunk 15 years ago

The theater I saw it in has a "Quiet Zone" policy - they will eject people who talk, either to each other or on their cell phones or allow their kids to run around being noisy after only one warning (they do have a "baby day" with relaxed rules, otherwise they don't even allow kids under six unless it is a children's movie and a matinee).

I tend to go to this theater whenever I can.

-Wm

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] SpiltPersonality 15 years ago

We went to see "Horton Hears a Who" with my daughter who had great fun running around the theatre. It was absolutely delightful to see her having so much fun.

The good news about this - we went to a session where we were the only people in the cinema.

If you're going to take kids to a movie:

1 - make it age appropriate; and,
2 - do it at a time when most people are going to be at work.

SpiltPersonality

[–] omoxus 15 years ago

How about putting spoilers on the message boards.

Im the Alpha and the Omoxus. The Omoxus and the Omega

[–] Naldoman 15 years ago

RULE ZERO: Wait for the film to be released on DVD, then watch it in your own home to avoid the annoyance of being a member of society and having to tolerate the presence of other people.

RULE DOUBLE-ZERO: Remove the stick from your rectum so you can relax and enjoy the movie.

[–] dek1158 15 years ago

Nice burn, naldoman! May I add the following:

RULE TRIPLE-ZERO: Don't try to preach about behavior on the Internet. If people choose not to be courteous and respectful to other cinema patrons, your post would probably not change their disposition.

[–] liquidfirex 14 years ago

Nice burn?

I am in no way surprised you disagree with the intent of this thread.

[–] tindog 14 years ago

That was no burn, just self-centered, discourteous prattling. The theaters are there for everyone to enjoy, so if one person's behavior mars the experience for others, then that person is in the wrong. The adverse of your rule would be, if you don't want to be courteous and allow everyone else to enjoy the movie, wait till it comes out on DVD and watch it at home, where you can text and fart and talk all you want. Dek: Not sure how it is you know no one will change their disposition based on reading other people's reactions to their behavior? If you know so much about behavior and the future, please stop posting and go save the world. But until you're done fixing the world, I think that if my stating my view about theater behavior makes one guy decide to act right and he happens to be the guy sitting in front of me at the next movie... it was worth it.

[–] x4nit0s 14 years ago

Nice posting from no doubt your average trashy 'merkin

[–] TheMouseShadow 15 years ago

8 year olds, dude.....8 year olds....

[–] tuxedomaskdawg 15 years ago

Nobody *beep* with the Jesus

[–] Clockwise1251 15 years ago

Shut the f|uck up donnie!!!

Your out of your f|ucking element!!!

Why does everything have to be about vietnam?!

[–] Toolman911 15 years ago

I totally agree!! People and yardpigs who cannot STFU are filth. Us filmgoers who pay good money to watch a film in peace should have permission by LAW to aggressively beat the living *beep* out of those *astards!!!