MovieChat Forums > Like Dandelion Dust (2010) Discussion > Why didn't they let him take a bath inst...

Why didn't they let him take a bath instead of shower?

posted 13 years ago by mel-holden
22 replies | jump to latest

The kid was obviously a clean kid and must have had baths all his short life

Why did his birth father insist he take a shower to clean up? Why didn't he or birth mother just let him take a bath?

I realize the physical abuse/bruise was part of the plotline, and would have had to have been triggered in some other way, but come on! If the boy's having a fit about taking a shower, then just gently say 'Okay, how about a bath then?'

Am I missing something obvious here?

[–] corky-27 13 years ago

You're not missing anything obvious, at least not to me. My initial assumption was that they only possessed a stall shower, and thus were incapable of taking baths; I did not pay close enough attention to the actual shower scene, though, to notice if it was a full bath or not...

Right. Well, I have to-- I have to go now, Duane, because I, I'm due back on the planet Earth.

[–] C.S.Wood 13 years ago

Well later on when the birth father beats up the birth mother, I think she falls and hits her head on the bathtub.

I'm thinking maybe it had to do with the dad having been in prison, where they don't let you take baths, only showers. Sorta like an "I had to take showers so you have to take showers" kind of thing, but maybe that's reading too much into it and the dad was simply nuts.

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[–] cdunbar-3 13 years ago

You're not reading too much into it. You hit the nail right on the head. We know Rip has a past of abusive behavior. Forcing the boy to take a shower instead of a bath is controlling behavior. Abusers always begin with acts of control, and when they get away with it, it escalates into violence. I don't think Rip recognizes this for what it is. Until he goes too far, he thinks he is doing the right thing and just being a dad. The mother didn't immediately intervene because she's been a victim of Rip's abuse and is used to yielding to him.

Barry Pepper was outstanding in his role. Too often abusers are portrayed without sympathy. All of us have some bad habit that try as we might, seems impossible to overcome. It may be cigarettes, food addiction, gambling, or even as trivial as nail biting. It is notoriously hard to conquer these behaviors. I found it hard to judge the "unfit" parents in this film because even though they are flawed, aren't we all? (I didn't like that the film spends far less time examining the flaws of the rich parents. Since when does money make us better people?)

[–] Tracey73 12 years ago

My initial assumption was that they only possessed a stall shower, and thus were incapable of taking baths; I did not pay close enough attention to the actual shower scene, though, to notice if it was a full bath or not...

I'm just now watching the scene. It's a full bath, although it might be different in the book (?)

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[–] shannonm75 13 years ago

Yeah i was commenting on the fact that this kid is supposed to be about 6 years old and why couldn't he just have a bath? How many small children take a shower as often as adults? Kids don't like water splashing down on their heads. That was odd. He should have said okay then just take a bath...

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[–] bensentl 11 years ago

In the movie, did you notice after the first visit when he returns home from the visit the boy is talking to his mom off screen and tells her he is done with his bath. Interesting point made here I think that the kid had more understanding and love at home.

[–] noveltylibrary 13 years ago

except the boy didn't think they were his parents. and he was right.

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] noveltylibrary 13 years ago

my point = the idiot expected the boy to obey him like a son should, when the boy could only see him as a man he just met.

[–] bmoviebimbo 13 years ago

actually, that scene occurred on the second visit, when Rip and Wendy were to be "the other mommy and daddy." but i'm with the original poster. i originally thought, "well, maybe they don't have a bath." but they did, you clearly saw it in 2 scenes, and i suspect it was an unintentional mistake by the film's makers.

[–] noveltylibrary 13 years ago

it doesn't matter what they told him to call them...only 2 visits, they were still virtual strangers.

[–] jac91604 13 years ago

Because he was an uneducated redneck who grew up in an abusive home himself.

The OP is asking a logical question about the actions of illogical ignorant people.

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] rhino1983 13 years ago

I think on the first visit after they were working on the tree house Rip told him he needed to go clean up. Joey said he didn't like baths he liked showers. But when they suggested a shower he didn't want to take one so they let him just wash up and told him he wouldn't need to take a shower until his second visit. I think that's why on the second visit Rip didn't even ask him if he wanted to take a bath.

[–] seatonst 12 years ago

I don't remember the boy saying he didn't like to take a bath. Anyone read an explanation of this scene/part in the book!???

[–] RoseLuca 12 years ago

I haven't read the book, but inthe movie I don't think bath was even mentioned as an option at the biological parents' house. It was simply shower which Joey didn't like. I remember thinking most 6 year olds would take a bath over a shower so it was just odd to me. Later on in the movie, I'm fairly certain he yelled to his (adoptive) mother "I'm done with my BATH" while his parents were discussing something in the kitchen. So, clearly there was minimal supervision required at home. I think the bath/shower may have been just an overamplified example of why Joey's biological parents weren't the best option for him.

[–] ShieraSeastar 12 years ago

@seatonst: this scene wasnt in the book

[–] seatonst 12 years ago

Oh! But wasn't it a major feature of the movie? What happened in the book?

[–] petra-59 12 years ago

I think you have got this completely wrong. We are talking about a shower versus a bath, not junk food. The scene was not sufficiently explained. Obviously you had no idea at all.

[–] TemporaryOne-1 12 years ago

He would not submit to a bath either.Joey refused to take a shower because doing so meant he would have to take off his clothes.He did not want to take off his clothes and shower because in his mind, Wendy (Mira Sorvino) and Rip (Barry Pepper) were strangers to him, and their home was not his home, their home felt strange to him. He felt uncomfortable showering in a house that was not his home, in a bathroom that was not "his" familiar comfortable safe bathroom, with adults he did not know in the next room.It was all about safety. He did not feel safe getting naked and showering near people who were strangers to him, he did not feel safe taking a shower in a tub/bathroom/house that he wasn't familiar with, especially since the people he considered his parents were not there.If he showered in their house it would mean he felt safe and comfortable in their house and trusted them as he trusted his adoptive parents. A mental step he either was not ready and/or refused to take.It was him saying, forget about it, this isn't my bathroom, this isn't my home, you're not my parents, I'm not taking a shower, because as far as I'm concerned you're strangers and this isn't my tub and this will never be my home.No one is to blame for how that situation played out, other than social services for mishandling the entire situation (he should have been told from Day 1 that he was adopted and his birth parents wanted him back, the adoptive parents and birth parents should have met before he was reunited with his birth parents, and a joint-custody agreement between both families should have been reached, instead of lying to the child and cutting the adoptive parents - whom raised him since infancy - out of his life forever).

[–] hubzy1 12 years ago

maybe he diddent want to take his clothes off in front of strangers....

[–] 11 years ago

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