Abysmal

I won't mention the obvious details of this colossal mistake. Wouldn't want to give away too much. Instead, I would like to point out the little things that make it worse than most movies I've ever seen.

The title character is laughable. Seriously funny. How can you take a giant porcupine man seriously? I know. Give him a college education and make him extremely well-read. Where are his books? I didn't see a library in his forest domecile. You would think that a savage pokey man would talk like Carl from Sling Blade. Not so. He's very well spoken and polite for a savage beast.

The lighting is a total mystery. The whole movie takes place in a dark forest. Somehow there are multiple lighting sources in many of the scenes. Incredible. Must be all those fancy moons in the sky. What planet are they on?

Much of the soundtrack is performed by Edward Gusts (scary lead man). Another fail. It sounds like someone got lonely and whipped out their Casio keyboard and a glass of wine. I could whistle a better score out of my deuce door.

You can't catch hypothermia, as implied by the lead girl. It's not the flu---it's rapid core body temperature drop brought upon by extremely cold temperatures. Not something typically caused by a moderately rainy night. Also not something a common forest dwelling monster guy would comprehend when trying to bargain for your dying boyfriend's life. Not this guy, though. He's got a degree. Brilliant writing.

Long-winded is an understatement. This is a thirty minute short film at most. Somehow they transformed it into a eighty-two minute pretention fest with painfully slow dialogue and a budget that probably would have been better spent at Taco Bell.

In conclusion, I think everyone should see this movie. Seriously. It's that bad. Not like "White Chicks" bad. It's in a league all it's own. If for nothing else you should see it to use as a new standard for bad film. It's fun. You'll laugh. You won't cry. You'll definitely have a finer appreciation for mediocre movies. Whatever you do---for the love of Christ, don't pay for it. Cable only.