MovieChat Forums > Solomon Kane (2012) Discussion > Could someone please pour bleach in my e...

Could someone please pour bleach in my eyes for me?

posted 11 years ago by Island-Publius
16 replies | jump to latest

That-was-one-of-the-worst-movies-ever.

I just wanted to say that.

How they ever got these great actors and this incredible cinematographer to do this pile a rubbish is beyond me.

It wasn't scary. It wasn't intense. It wasn't emotional. It wasn't interesting. It was just bad.

I would have loved to have been in on the meeting when this movie was pitched. "It' got broad appeal! 17th century Puritans battling a demon army to take over the English countryside . . . Sounds like a hit!"

If they ever create the technology to wipe certain memories from the brain, this 104 minutes will be the first to go.

[–] theFFVIguy120222 11 years ago

You didn't like it, did you?

[–] CaramelSquares 11 years ago

Seriously? This makes you want someone to pour bleach into your eyes?

Terrible things Lawrence. You've done terrible things.

[–] kalysa 10 years ago

I watch this and you can watch the remake of Fright Night II. ;) Guess who I think gets the better deal?? Give me James Purefoy with a background story for the start of Solomon Kane over a nothing plot that is just titled Fright Night II with poor language, poor acting, and the lead actress as being the highlight of the story that is nothing like the original Fright Night II, JMHO. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Kalysa

[–] joegerardi-1 7 years ago

If you promise to NOT get a Braille keyboard and never post again. I will gladly do it.

..Joe

[–] misbegotten 7 years ago

I would have loved to have been in on the meeting when this movie was pitched: It's got broad appeal! 17th century Puritans battling a demon army to take over the English countryside . . . Sounds like a hit!

So movies are only worth watching if they're set in present-day America? I'm guessing you also think they all should consist of non-stop car chases, gunfights and explosions, plus giant robots hitting each other to a deafening rock music soundtrack, while the cast is filled with good-looking teens and all the female characters are played by Victoria's Secret models taking their clothes off as often as possible. In 3D.

Well, you're entitled to your opinion. But I'd rather watch Solomon Kane.

http://hexfan.proboards.com/

[–] chilone (17240) 5 years ago

I was thinking the same! :)

[–] TandyMan (10325) 5 years ago

I always sort of liked this movie even though I knew it wasn't great. I watched it with some old school friends a while back and they really laid into it. This movie definitely sucks. And I surely don't care.

[–] Wuchak (8073) 5 years ago

I always sort of liked this movie even though I knew it wasn't great... This movie definitely sucks. And I surely don't care.

So which is it -- you sort of like it even though it's not great or it definitely sucks? It's a confusing post.

I thought it looked awesome -- locations, sets, costumes, cast -- but the story is dull as dishwater. At least "Conan the Barbarian" (2011) -- another recent movie loosely based on REH yarns -- somewhat keeps your interest until the overblown last act.

[–] TandyMan (10325) 5 years ago

I'm going to keep willfully liking it even though I know it's bad. My brain will do anything I tell it too. I'm Illuminati programmed like everybody else. But I peaked behind the curtain. I decide who lives or dies.

[–] Wuchak (8073) 5 years ago

Cool, brah.

[–] Neckk (342) 5 years ago

Just finished watching this for the first time. This movie surprised me. Went into this thinking it was going to be a generic b-movie, but I was wrong. Really enjoyed it. Soloman's character arc along with Purefoy's acting chops made the movie. Great music and cinematography. Fight choreography was tight as well.

Was never a fan of Purefoy, but this one put him on my radar.

[–] whynotwriteme (7114) 5 years ago

I love this movie. It takes some liberties with the original character, (less liberties than Arnold took with Conan) but it's a solid fantasy adventure all the way through. In my opinion, it's the best Sword & Sorcery film ever made. Better than the new Conan, and even better than the Schwarzenegger Conan of the 80s.

Purefoy is the ideal swordsman hero. I really wish they had gotten him for the role of Euron in GoT instead of that hillbilly-looking guy they went with. The villains were creepy and the mood was set perfectly.

[–] Neckk (342) 5 years ago

I wasnt aware there was an original! I will definitely look that up. I watched the remake of Conan just the other day, and just thought it was mediocre. Solomon Kane is far, far better. I've never watched GoT, but being that I've been binge watching fantasy, sword/sorcery movies, I'll have to check it out.

Would you be so kind recommend any others similar to this, whynotwriteme? I recently purchased the LOTR trilogy (I know, i know...im years behind), and am very impressed so far. I'm halfway through the Two Towers. Also thinking about checking out Legend, with Tom Cruise.

[–] whynotwriteme (7114) 5 years ago

There were no earlier Solomon Kane movies, just stories written by Robert E. Howard and later Marvel comic books. The character was basically ripped off in the movie Van Helsing.

As far as movies, James Purefoy made an excellent medieval adventure called Ironclad. No fantasy elements, but it was a rousing adventure. Pathfinder is good as well, but a lot of people don't like the PC aspects of it. Do check out GoT. Some of the stuff there is amazing. Legend is a very good movie. Willow from the late 80s is also good and you can't miss the LOTR movies. The Hobbit movies, not so great but worthwhile.

In the written arena, my favorites are Fritz Lieber's Fafhrd & The Gray Mouser stories. There's a series by Karl Edward Wagner called Kane that is very grim and bloody. (No relation to Solomon Kane.) Some of the Conan imitators are good, like Thongor and Brak but there's a lot of junk. Elric of Melnibone by Michael Moorcock is also considered a classic.

I prefer older fantasy books myself. Most of the newer stuff is too formulaic and you get stuck in these long, never-ending series that just sputter out. There's a new genre called "Grimdark" that is essentially Sword & Sorcery taken to its bleakest extremes. Some is OK but other times its just an excuse for gore and depravity. I'd stick with pre-80s Sword & Sorcery to start.

[–] Neckk (342) 5 years ago

Thank you very much for the recommendations! I appreciate the thought out and thorough response. I'm going to jot these down in my travel journal :) Thanks again!

[–] Flips (17) 5 years ago

I enjoyed the movie as well, don't understand the overly negative reactions.