MovieChat Forums > Game of Thrones (2011) Discussion > What does Arya want to be?

What does Arya want to be?


She keeps making theses comments on not being a Lady, but Why. She seems to have only one view of being a Lady, women that act like Sansa. Yet, especially in the north, their are woman who are Lady's and warriors who do not take crap from anyone and who do not spend their days knitting. What does she mean when she say's I don not want or be a good lady. As the Daughter of a Lord she is Lady Arya Stark by default, she already is a lady. We know she can't do feminine things like Sansa, but like Brienne, people address and call her by her rightful tittle, only for her to bitch about " Don't call me a lady". So is she rejecting her title or women like Sansa. At the end of the 7th season she tells Sansa she would never be a good Lady and I assume she means leader. So what does she even want out of life? Lady Lyanna Mormont seems to have more sense the Arya, who seems to have gender identity issues.The previous Lady Mormont personally went into battle with her army and the 10 year old did not stay on Bear Island, she went to the battle, though she did not participate. Does she want to spend her life killing people? Isn't rejecting her title basically rejecting her place as a Stark?

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I don't think she's thought it out. She wants to re-establish House Stark and to be a badass, now that both wishes have come true she's just enjoying them rather than thinking about what she'll do with the rest of her life. And she won't think it out in the near future either, not when the news about the Night's King crossing the Wall hits. She'll go to war with Jon and Dany's dragons, and thank the Seven that she's not back at Winterfell trying to feed the refugees and deal with the bannermen's egos and nurse the wounded and trying to counter Cersei's moves and fending off any besieging armies that happen by. That is what Ladies are supposed to do in wartime, in medieval societies, and that's what Sansa will be stuck with doing.

Who knows what her future will be, or whether she has a future all. You don't take power from Death Gods and expect to live a long and untroubled life afterwards.

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Men and women have different roles. The role of a Lady is very narrow and the status is below men. Basically, do what one's husband or father tells her. He dictates who she will marry. Cersei didn't want to marry King Robert nor Loras. Daenerys didn't want to marry Drogo. Ditto Myrcella.

Look pretty, marry well, play music, do needlework and learn neat cursive writing, run a household. Not surprising since that's historically been the norm in the real world, too.

Her opinion isn't worth much. Notice how Jon Snow didn't take Sansa's advice seriously nor Robb with his mother re: Fry. A true lady isn't a leader, but supports the men and raises the children. Arya is fighting against being pigeonholed which is why she rejects that term.

Arya clearly enjoys fighting which is a male endeavor. That's the reason why her father called her fencing lessons "dancing" which is acceptable for a "lady".

In Westeros, women tend to become warriors or leaders when the male heirs have all been killed off like with Brienne, Yara (can't count Reek), Dani and Lady Mormont. Sansa is still below Jon Snow in status and only acting leader until he returns even though he's illegitimate and has no legal claim.

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I think she started out wanting to be something like Brianne, but later events lead her to become what she is and she's rather enjoying it.

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No one.

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^ Exactly. She knows that eventually the Faceless Men will come for her and exact revenge. She just wants to be sure her list is finished first.

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Maybe she keeps saying she doesn't want to be a lady because she honestly doesn't want to be one. She wants to live like a dude. Not as a dude, but to live freely like one with a responsibility only to herself, like how Braun lives.

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Or maybe she wants to live like she *thinks* men live.

Most men in Westeros don't have a lot of personal freedom. They have wives and families they have to support and answer to, they take orders from the heads of their families or their liege-lords or employers, their marriages are arranged, etc., and that's true of both nobles and smallfolk. If Arya doesn't want to live the life of a lady, she also doesn't want to live the life of a man. More power to her, if she can find a different path.

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Sure many men do have responsibilities and people they support as do women. But I think the key difference is that a man has the option to live a transient vagabond lifestyle like Braun so long as he has the necessary fighting and/or thieving skills to support themselves. As the biologically weaker sex with regards to raw strength and endurance, women just generally don't have that option available to them in a primitive world where strength and fighting skills are paramount and women aren't typically trained to fight. Their only real option should they seek independence is whoring, and if they're hot enough, aspire to be a courtesan. But I'm sure this is not what Arya wants.

Instead, she's attained a mastery of combat skills where she's not only more powerful than any one man, but could take on a multitude of men at once if needed. She's empowered enough now that she has the option available to live like a man could choose to live. That kind of lifestyle might not end up being how she romanticizes after living it for a prolonged period, but I think that's what she means when she says she doesn't want to be a lady.

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Oh women in Westeros have other options, such as being thieves or septas. If Arya hadn't been able to get away from vagabondage, which she did survive without physical strength BTW, she probably would have picked thieving.

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Ugh, I'm not sure I see the nunnery as a real option for a woman seeking freedom and independence. Seems more like an option of last resort for women with no other options, as it typically was in medieval times.

But otherwise I agreed, she'd be far more content with a lifestyle of thieving than being a kept lady in some man's household.

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Actually, during the middle ages there were convents that were havens of learning or participation in the arts for women, look up Hildegard von Bingen for a historical example.But such convents were rare and were mostly open to girls from wealthy families, and we have no idea if there's an equivalent in Westeros.

Not that Arya would be interested if there were, that girl has no interest in book-lwarning or the arts. She'd much rather be s thief.

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Arya seems to want to live her own life, on her own terms. She doesn't want to take shit from anyone. She doesn't want a husband telling her what she can and cannot do. Or I think, the responsibility of raising children.

I found it interesting that despite Jaquen saying the faces were meant for no one, and are like poison if you haven't renounced your identity, Arya continues to use the power of the Faceless Men with no ill effects. You might have expected them to come after her. After all she's taking their secrets out into the world and using them for her own purposes. What if she decides to train others? But, nothing. She hasn't exactly been keeping a low profile yet the Faceless Men have made no effort to rein her in. I can't help but think there will be consequences for Arya though. Some price to pay; maybe her own life, or maybe it will be more complicated, but gods of myth never grant mortals power without demanding something in return.

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I agree with you. I doubt we've seen the last of the Faceless Men.

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Maybe they're pleased with her work, bringing "so much death" to Westeros, and are willing to let her continue for now. And she may have some Greater Purpose they can foresee.

But yeah, she hadn't seen the last of them. And BTW I suspect the Many-Faced God is one of the Old Gods, Gods whose names have been lost in Westeros, but who still haunt the godswoods.

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