Question about Benjen


Did Benjen ever know about Jon's parentage? That Lyanna was his mother and Ned was his uncle? I'm not sure if this was ever said or did Benjen know in the books?

reply

It's never explicitly said either in the books or show. There's a chance he does know, but it's about equal chance that he doesn't. Ned didn't even tell his wife.

reply

And I really have to wonder why he never told Cat. You would have thought to save Jon her wrath. I'm just beginning a re-watch of seasons 1-6 in advance of the season 7 premiere and I'm in season one and I have to say I really do hate Ned. Some think of him as a hero. There are two scenes I could really kill him for. The first is when he comes in on Cat when she's being mean to Jon who is just there to say goodbye to Bran before he takes the black. Then the scene when he arrives in King's Landing where he comes into the throne room and Jaime greets him. When Jaime is trying to tell him why he killed The Mad King, all Ned wants to do is judge him. Oh and the fact he never told Jon about his mother. So that's three.

reply

Ned was an "hounourable" fool.

reply

Not so dumb as to tell anyone about Jon's true parentage, and IMHO if he wouldn't tell his wife then he wouldn't tell his brother. Better to let the lad hear some harsh words from his stepmother, than to become the target of assassins or the locus of a new civil war.

And IMHO that's why Ned allowed Jon to join the NW. So that neither he nor his offspring would ever raise the red and black flag, and start a new civil war.

reply

I meant other cases, when Ned's honour manifested itself, not Jon's case. Snow's case is complicated. However, I disagree about letting Jon join the NW. It was ruthless from a certain point of view. But in the long run he unintentionally "saved" Jon from being massacred at red wedding. Not that Jon managed to avoid that fate, but at the wall there was a certain red priestess present...

reply

Ned was indeed the most decent and honorable man* in Westeros, so much so that the king of the seven kingdoms would travel all the way to the North to offer him a job. Of course Robert was a dolt, and didn't realize that personal honor is a massive handicap in a political job.

However, IMHO his treatment of Jon wasn't entirely a matter of decency and honor. Yes, telling the kid his true parentage would put him and others in all kinds of danger, so of course he held off on doing so. But letting Jon join the NW without having that talk with him wasn't entirely decent or honorable, he let him take The Oath without knowing all the facts... which is why I think that Ned wanted to make sure that Jon didn't set himself up as a new Targaryan heir and make war on the Baratheons. Ned was for the Baratheons and against the Targaryans at that point, although if he'd got to know Joffrey better he'd probably have raised his vassals and put a Targaryan flag in Jon's hands himself.

And his saving Jon from the Red Wedding was fortuitous not intentional. Ned didn't expect to die and start the War of Five Kings as a result.



* The only other 100% decent and honorable person in Westeros is Brienne of Tarth.

reply

How about Podrick?

reply

Yes, Podrick is decent, honorable AND probably the best lover we’ve seen on a TV show EVER.

reply

People like Ned make for great Kings, priests, teachers, etc but not as an advisor or politician. An advisor needs to be more cunning and devious yet with good honorable enough intentions like Tyrion.


Also, Ned didn't force nor influence Jon to joining the NW. Sure he found it a good path to follow given his background but unlike today's disgust for celibacy, priesthood/monks/priestesses, or in this case a NW wasn't thought of in the same light. His brother Benjen even joined and it's an honorable profession for many lords and blue bloods, as well as the common folk. A Targaryan was even a NW, brother of Aegon the King.

reply

It seems to me that Ned wasn't actually pleased by Jon's desire to join the Night's Watch, but ultimately accepted it as the best of a few bad options under the circumstances. There was a whole conversation about it in book 1.

reply

I read the book but have forgotten that so thanks for bringing it up.

reply

How many people prejudge others especially if all they know about them are horrible things? For Ned, he couldn't think of any reason why a Kingsguard would disregard their oath and slay their own King. Westeros has old rules of nobility and honor, like slaying a kin or a guest in one's home. And for a Stark unlike others, they are a noble House and oaths are not taken lightly. Other Houses may not hold such things in high regard like the Lannisters or the Freys, but that's why we root for the Starks and not the others. Even Tyrion has more Stark qualities than a Lannister's, and as for Dany, I think she will become a mad Queen.

Second Ned probably didn't tell Jon for his own protection, after all Jon was only 13 when Ned died. And you don't trust such a secret to a child (just watch The Americans). As for not saying anything when he saw Cat, he probably knew how she treats Jon and has probably talked to her about it several times. But reprimanding her in front of Jon or the children isn't his way and antagonizing her even more about it may make things worse for Jon.

reply

I've wondered why he didn't tell Cat too. Instead he chose to make himself look like man whore who cheated...instead of telling her the simple truth. Didn't he trust her?

Ned was kind of an idiot...just like his friend King Robert.

reply

I don't think so. It seems to me that Ned just figured out the ultimate trick to keeping big secrets: Don't tell anyone.

reply

I agree, but still it would have been interesting had he trusted Benjen.

reply

I don't think he told Benjen but I assume Benjen suspected.

reply

I would think so as I don't see how Lyanna could have kept this from literally everyone. Hard to conceal a pregnancy to that extent. I would think someone other than Ned (and now Bran) knows.

reply

Probably so. There was a midwife present and one other woman was standing there when Ned took the baby. But they obviously kept their mouth shut so far.

reply

I actually think it's possible cat knew. And benjen. And a few others. But they knew if anyone found out Jon would be in danger. Maybe cats anger was because jons existence forced her to keep secrets and put their family in danger from people like littlefinger, who probably knows

reply

I the books Cat didn't know... so I assume she also didn't know on the TV show😜

reply

i haven't read the books but I find it hard to believe Ned's wife didn't know the truth. That's a big knock against her intelligence if she really had no idea. Is there a specific passage in the books where this is discussed you are referring to?

reply

Well I remember that Cat in the books wondering about who Jon mother is, cleary acknowleding that she will never know now that Ned is dead. In the books Cat and Ned are married and the Ned goes of to war with Robert at a point where they hardly knows eachother... and then Ned brings back this barstard child which is not uncommen in Westoros...

reply

Why would she know? Ned was an honorable man, who carried secrets to the grave. It didn't hurt his reputation to have a bastard son, even increased it, the way he took care of Jon. He was his sister's only child and his safety was more important. Cat could have slipped and he wouldn't take that chance.

reply

I would have hoped he'd have treated Jon a little better than he did. Having him not sit at the family table is inexcusable. As the man of the house he should have told Cat that Jon was a Stark and that was it. Whether he could tell anyone of Jon's true parentage, he did little to honour Lyanna by not allowing him to feast with the family. Robb certainly didn't understand it.

reply

I agree that Ned didn't tell her outright. But women tend to know when their husbands are lying. Like instantly.

reply

Well, I agree that most wives would know if their husbands lie.

But how do you picture this specific conversations?
»Ned, who’s this bastards mother anyway?« – »Umm, some tavern wench I fucked.« – »Ned, you’re lying! Could it be… Oh, no… Is he your sister’s son, by any chance, fathered by that dreadful Targaryen who surely raped her?« – »No, no! Tavern wench! Tavern wench!« – »Oh… my… f*cking… god! I mean, seven hells! He IS a Targaryen!«

About that?
The thing I’m trying to say is: Knowing your husband’s lying and figuring out the full story behind it are two completely different things.

reply

Well what happens is the woman figures out the husband is lying and then denies love and sex until she gets the full story. There is no woman who suspects her husband is lying and doesn't end up getting the whole story. I just don't believe Ned didn't break in all that time

reply

Umm, there ARE women who think: »Allright, he has a secret. I don’t like that very much, but I love him and trust him. So if he’s ready to tell that secret, he’ll tell. Until that day comes, I’ll respect his privacy.«

And yes, I’ve met that kind of women.

… and if you don’t believe me, then just assume that GoT is a fantasy world where GRRM dreamed up women the way he’d like them to be.

Come to think of it… Judging from all the american movies and TV shows I’ve seen, there seem to be no women of that kind in the USA. But I still got hope that the movies and shows are plainly wrong.

reply

Yeah repressed women in the middle east maybe. Most women in America don't tolerate lying or secrets. Maybe it was different in westeros though. I doubt it. Ned doesn't seem like the abusive type to threaten an honor killing. Now stannis. Yeah he doesn't have to tell his wife anything. She was abused

reply

Oh boy. So denying love and sex is progressive and liberated. Moreover, lying and keeping a secret seem to be equally bad.
I stop here, I just remembered we’re discussing a TV show.

reply

Yes sex should be tied to honesty and openness. Correct.

reply

It is 100% clear in the books that Cat didn't know.

It came as no surprise to her, in the first year of her marriage, to learn that Ned had fathered a child on some girl chance met on campaign. [...]It was the one thing she could never forgive him. She had come to love her husband with all her heart, but she never found it in her to love Jon. She might have overlooked a dozen bastards for Ned's sake, so long as they were out of sight. Jon was never out of sight, and as he grew, he looked more like Ned than any of the true born sons she bore him. Somehow that made it wrong.

reply

Nice guess that clears it up. He was able to lie to her successfully. Amazing

reply

Howland Reed may know.

reply