MovieChat Forums > Brick Lane (2008) Discussion > Moral of the story basically is.... *spo...

Moral of the story basically is.... spoilers

posted 16 years ago by suganspice70
20 replies | jump to latest

Having seen this movie and read the book.....I can conclude this:-

It is ok to cheat on your husband

I understand her hardships- move to a new country in an arranged marriage to a man you are incompatible with...fair enough, I understand. However they did grow closer as a couple...esp after her son dies and he was a good man.

Woman are forced into marriages to men who beat them, who humiliate and taunt them....they are forced into marriages where they are made to do appauling things. Chanu (her husband, if i got the name right) wasnt any of those things....ok he spoke more than he did anything (dont most men?) and he supported her decision to stay in the UK.....he was also adjusting to married life and he was a devout father....

But where is his justice?

Seeing as he goes back to his home country...and she stays put in the UK, she will no doubt....find many many more Karims? Now she doesnt have to sneak around...she can sleep with whom she likes.

I dont think she cared much about her children either. Her affair meant more than the welfare of her family.....her children loved and need their father...

but her priority was to stay in the UK...have her affairs and deprive her children of a father who loved them- considering the number of children out there who have no father/awful fathers- they had it lucky.

I know of many many famileis who have moved back to their homelands....who get through the hardships as a family.

And anyone who says arranged marriages are tough/help groups...etc....keep in mind, it is just like a 'normal' marriage, where u meet someone and wish to marry them. Both can break apart or both can be happy and fulfilling....

Sure there are help groups for people forced into arrange marriages...jus as there are thousands if not millions of therapists/help groups for people who have had failed marriages going about it 'the normal' way.

I know people who have had arranged marriages and are very content and happy. Just as I know those who arent.

I understand that maybe she did not love her husband.....but to disrespect him/the father of her children like that.....is nothing worthy of a heroine.

Sure divorce is difficult...against religion...etc etc....but im pretty sure adultry is too? unless of course...we can pick and choose which bits we want to abide by and which bits we would rather overlook?

Overall.....I did not like the main character......I found her selfish and I can never understand a woman who doesnt put her children and family first.

[–] Krustallos 16 years ago

She stayed in London because she put her children first. They were the ones who really wanted to stay.

I think looking for "morals" in stories is a little juvenile. Most of us have grown out of the need for that type of Disneyfication and feel we can make our own minds up. The fact is that people do have affairs (men more so than women and with considerably less justification than here).

And divorce isn't against Islam.

I used to want to change the world. Now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity.

[–] suganspice70 16 years ago

so is adultry......can we now pick and choose which parts of a religion we want to abide by and overlook the rest?

[–] strusins 10 years ago

i didn't see her choosing any part of the religion she was born into. she didn't seem to be a religious woman.

[–] Mystikal_Spirit 16 years ago

You took the words right out of my mouth!

[–] qpw3141 16 years ago

There's nothing like being judgemental, is there?

The things this woman had to put up with in her life and people obsess about her having an affair!

[–] suganspice70 16 years ago

I know people who have had it much much worse...and they never resorted to an affair....and when i say much worse, i mean much worse....more abuse and torment than anyone could imagine

[–] a-chan-1 16 years ago

No one should remain in a marriage where they're suffering abuse! It's not somerthing to be considered admirable!

[–] suganspice70 16 years ago

nor is adultry.....or is that something to admire in the western world?

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] gwen_kaori 16 years ago

bump.

and it takes 2 to tango, he knew she was married and shouldn't have led her on. she's not the only one to blame.

[–] cstu11 16 years ago

I know people who have had it much much worse...and they never resorted to an affair....and when i say much worse, i mean much worse....more abuse and torment than anyone could imagine

================

LOL, like they would tell you if they had an affair, LMAO.

This is the reason while I find many of these close-knit "communities" so disgusting. People are forced into bad situations and told "this is your life, deal with it and don't embarrass the family". It's BS just like all religion is BS that was only created to make people feel better about dying and used by evil people to control others.

[–] neverwinter12 16 years ago

that is a bit harsh csu11.
I mean , yeah close knit communities have some strict rules and regulations , and honouring and respecting the family etc. But what is wrong with giving your family a good reputaion and respecting your mother and father and your ancestors. Yes , I agree to the fact that some people go to extreme lengths to do so, but to call thier way of life BS seems a little over the top. and the whole dying thing. I mean I am nowhere near a religious person, but i understand the need to feel like there is something after life and death , you can;t judge people for trying to find a way not be so afraid of death!. It also makes alot of loss easier for them I presume, grieving is not as hard to deal with if you belive they have moved on to wherever they believe they move onto. Are you saying that's wrong. The used by evil people to control others is what gets to me most though. would you call mother theresa or the pope evil? they were religious people and never used it to control anyone. yes I do belive that some people take the idea of religion as an excuse to start telling others how to live, eg the whole smithstown incident , but that really is up to the individual isn't it, and not religion as a whole.

[–] KnightleyEmma 16 years ago

Come one people, don't be so SIMPLE! Just b/c someone was born into a religion, practiced it, and all that DOES NOT mean that he/she will NEVER have an affair! Don't put ethnic minorities in a BOX- we're JUST like everyone else.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] viperaberus 16 years ago

I wonder how old are you to not understand that people are not simple and people have feelings and we do not always do the right thing. However, it is with our mistakes that we learn and grow.

This movie is very interesting as we see not only she, but also her husband as learners of life. It is quite amazing when after falling in love for the first time, she realizes there are different kinds of love and she actually loves her husband, and this love is like a pearl that grew slowly through the years. Very beautiful.

In my view she stayed mostly for her children. She realized that for them UK was their home and moving them to Bangladesh would be uprooting them as it happened to her. The husband needed to go back, because after his efforts to fit in, he could not handle it anymore. He understood each ones needs and he understood why she stayed. This for me was the proof of his love. Again, beautiful.

At the end we can just wonder how the story goes on, and how we see it go on says more about ourselves than about the characters in the movie. Yes, I am speaking of you. I prefer to think that your view into her future comes from your youth and not your heart.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] sixteenjune 16 years ago

Your view is quite odd. Especially in the book it is clear that Chanu never listens to his wife, and he makes all sorts of decisions about her life without consulting her or considering how his actions will affect her. He beats his children, especially the older girl, and he threatens to marry her off as soon as he returns to Bangladesh. In the end, she strikes out on her own, sending her lover away and letting her husband live his own dream of going back while she pursues a better life for herself and her girls though sewing for Razia.

[–] artistathome 14 years ago

I agree with the OP. I only saw the last 15 minutes and I figured the whole movie out.

So she is better than her sister because she actually got married and stayed married? HUH?
A sister who became a prostitute? What does she think is gonna happen to her? Sends her husband off to live alone in Bangladesh and she stays in London having affairs or also living alone? That is certainly not healthy for her daughters to see.

Get a divorce, for heaven's sake. & have some integrity. If your "religion" won't allow it then make your husband do the right thing and come back.
Make it work as a family. Pool your resources.

I did agree with not taking the children away from London tho. What exactly would THAT accomplish? Nanzeen was right to stand her ground.

Arranged marriages are obviously for the birds.

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] wakeupm1 14 years ago

The morale, is women will cheat in every opportunity that they get, they are very good at hiding it and are naturally manipulative person. In the office you will see women always gossiping spreading rumors committing adultery, and the hypocritical thing is it was done by someone who followed Islam, Islam forbids adultery and the reasons why it is told in Islam that women are not to be in working environment where they will meet a male. Punishment for adultery is another important measure to take, and lastly she went to a another country where the western lifestyle makes adultery a common thing.

Moral of the story basically is.... *spoilers*

Moral of the story basically is.... spoilers