Nothing happens

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Finally got around to watching this movie, and loved it. Wanted to respond to this post and suggest perhaps you either a> did not watch the last half of the movie, or b> did not really understand the nuances/changes the two main characters underwent. Especially Kidman who underwent a subtle but incredibly realistic and moving shift from the beginning of the film to the end.

This was a beautifully understated film about grief, with impressively strong performances from everyone involved.

I agree with Thirdeye...
it was a movie about grief...
and the couple going thru their grief in their own ways.

the crying scene in the car was powerful...
and Kidman showed me she could act...

and I get more impressed with Eckart every time I see him...

and Miles Tellar is nicely solid.

Both characters do have a goal and that is to deal with what's in front of them while staying together. Both people find comfort through different things. They are grieving in conflicting ways. A movie that wants to tackle a subject like this, can't give a solid, straight-forward external journey because that would require an obvious ending and a lot of circumstance. The movie instead focuses on the internal journey and their small triumph of getting close together again. We see a moment in their lives rather than a chapter.

So in the grand scheme of things you can say there is little change. Which makes perfect sense because grief is what it is. To try to force a circumstantial situation would take away from the movie trying to realistically tackle the subject.

As for smaller changes, there certainly are many in each character. Kidman didn't change? She went from sharing her grief with someone who was going through a different journey, to sharing it with her husband. She went from dismissing and pushing away her mother to embracing her and focusing on what their individual tragedies have in common. Becca grieves in a way that alienates her from those close to her. By the end of the movie she's open and in fact takes initiative and asks them for their own piece of mind. She starts as an introvert and takes her first steps into reaching out to her loved ones.

I've only seen the play so perhaps my comment is irrelevant, but in the play Becca is the opposite of sitting and wallowing in her own misery without any genuine attempt at changing. In the play she is trying desperately to move FORWARD to the pain and dismay of her husband. The play opens with her packing up her child's clothes to give away, there is a pivotal moment with her mother where she begs her not to linger in the moment but to MOVE ON, and a very intense scene where she is confronted by her husband because she has erased the video tapes of their son. These are all signs of a woman trying to get out of her grief, to escape any reminders of the pain - not sitting and wallowing in it. I think Howie, the opposite of Becca, shows the wallowing and not moving on. He contines to dwell on it at support group, watches the videos over and over. He refuses to meet the young driver of the car because he doesn't want to forgive, while Becca wants to meet him, to understand, to move forward. She is frustrated by those around her who want to stay stuck in it, to find reasons for it to be okay. She just wants to get on with life and put her grief behind her so that it doesn't fill her with tremendous pain.

As other posters below have said, the plot is Becca and Howie moving into the same place of peace. They each have different ways of dealing with their loss and it separates them, but slowly them move along their journey and find that their paths entwine again and they can move forward together. The plot is how do we grieve and how do we move on. It might not be action, but it is definitely something that happens.

Ain't no circus like an Andy Serkis