MovieChat Forums > Portal (2009) Discussion > Portal vs My poop - full analysis

Portal vs My poop - full analysis


It stunk up the joint, I mean it really did....of course by now you all know that I am referring to portal, the latest reason to support a global ban on all movies released after 1999, courtesy of Geoffrey "why does everybody tell me to kill myself" Schaaf.

There is a scene, where dead worms and blood ooze out of a woman's organs and she falls face first into said pile....quite unneccesary and extremely uninteresting, but then again, so was the storyline and the entire cast. Being a man, I don't know exactly how this act would feel, although I'm sure it could be compared to spending $5 to watch "portal" by geoffrey schaaf.

Onto my poopie. I delayed this until after the movie, a bad decision. Had it been during, I would have at least flushed away a poopie and 90-95 minutes of my life, rather than flush away a full 100 minutes. In order to poop, I had to pull my pants down (but not bend over as you do when paying to watch portal, by geoffrey schaaf).

Pooping requires the same amount of effort as directing or starring in "portal" by geoffrey schaaf (come on google.) The acting is bad, I mean it's really bad, although not as bad as the storyline, "plot", camera work, or the characters. It's scary to think that these actors were paid, or even that they are actors, or indeed, that the world is not about to end. At least the blonde witch has a weird nose, so she may have another shot in the horror movie genre. Awful acting all round.

"Portal" by Geoffrey Schaaf is terrible -10/10, 0/10 on IMDb. If you ever feel like watching this, DO NOT. DONTBUYTHISMOVIE and DONTWATCTHISMOVIE.

f.molai, charming man on gardening leave.



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I thought this was an okay film, clearly not much in the way of budget to it but it managed to put a few twists on an old story and tell it quite well.

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Webazoot my dearest, this is what it has come down to for us. If you are a huge fan of the horror movie genre, all I can do is apologise. I understand that times are tough, and i'm right here with you.

Take for example; the older, lonelier, divorcee, now looking at slightly fatter, lazier, unsuccesful men and thinking that they are actually not that bad after all. In a few more years, a pulse will do.

Much the same for this dieing genre, I appreciate that you may have liked this movie, and I want some of the drugs you were on while watching it, or the cut you made from your investment in it!

I just can't believe we are talking about the same movie. When it finally finished, I felt movie raped, and wished that I could sink into my own portal. It was just horrible.

I apologise if my response seems a bit militant, take care.

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Hey Bob, you want a lot for 5 bucks. I've seen much worse for a lot more.

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