No, dude you do not. You do not watch HORROR movies.
You seem to watch SLASHER FLICKS, which is cause itself to doubt the credibility of your comments, coming as they are from a deranged and possibly sociopathic head.
"Unrated" as a guidance rating is just another Hollywood trick to fool nuggets like you into thinking that it has some kind of "super-adult" gore in it that didn't make it past the Censors, when in fact they're just exploiting a loophole in BluRay re-issuing whereby the film re-issue doesn't need to go by the censors again if it's the same cut that's been released previously - this way, whilst not being honest (surprise surprise) about what the category actually means, they can push re-sales to re-tards upon (basically) false advertising.. How naive of you.
Whilst i do agree this movie could be a contender for the most massively misnomered film ever - the very fact that only 5 minutes of the film are based around it's title is a welcome break from tired, often-trodden American suburban folkloric clichés. Your Canadians (maybe it's a polar thing?) like the Norwegians, make Horror movies for grown-ups. They have remembered what Hollywood seems to have left behind for good - the benefits obtained from the psychological effect of NOT seeing something; The Tease......subtlety.
Most formula movies these days (going back into the 90s - but the older u get the more and more remakes you've already seen) have totally forgotten that exposition in a film is an ART FORM, a skill with film making that isn't an absolute in monochrome, it's a rainbow of possibilities. The sheer power of the human mind to invent things by which to be horrified is far more imaginative than anything that could ever be put to film, Clever film-makers throw you into this void of unknown and unsure, to get you questioning the very reality you experience, and this film does that in *beep*
The very fact that you're drawn into the movie on a promise of a ghost story is a deceit - and that's the core of the movie - deceit. It runs through all their relationships as well as their circumstances, it rules all of their lives. The 'creature' that slowly attacks them, which is more along the lines of a possessive fungal infection with megalomaniacal tendencies is, to me, both some kind of invading creature, taking over hosts, and at the same time a manifestation of the group's psyche as it dissolves into anarchy, distrust and malice.
It's at this point it most closely resembles the aforementioned "The Thing" and "Evil Dead" and maybe even "Bodysnatchers" - the plot swaps from "teenagers go to a cabin" to "alien/monster apocalypse" - quite a masterstroke i think.
Whilst, yes, the pace is slow, reflecting the initial laid-back circumstances of the gathering/reunion, the tension that is built up in the realism of the events as they unfurl - it's not about a splatterfest, or a roll-call of ticked off innovative ways to separate teenagers from their body parts in reverse order of how much they have sinned - and what a relief from that dirge. It's way more psychological in approach, the way "The Shining" is classified as horror (not meaning there's any correlation but as an example), having your friends or family change and try to kill you - that's no PG13 subject matter, neither is the thought processes involved in the return - can you kill your friends to survive?
And the guy who never shows up? Of course he doesn't show up, donut : Look a bit further into the film rather than carry on fishing round at the bottom of your default 'barrel' of godawful garbage.
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