1. Don't stand next to a big boobed woman in low cut top unless you are wearing your chicken cutlets and push-up bra.
2. Never marry a man you've only met twice, even if he has a lot of money.
3. Make sure your hairdo is flame retardant.
11. Wine and big wigs don't mix
12. Don't tell your husband your having an affair! (Why did she think that he would be fine with that even if he is a cheater?)
13. Even during these times, Jerry Springer would have made a killing (and Maury too)
All in all, enjoyed the movie.
Funny and true--lol
share14. It's totally okay to beat your wife with a stick as long as it isn't thicker than your thumb.
15. It's also okay to drink lots of wine while pregnant.
16. Servants are deaf and definitely won't hear you raping your wife.
17. Money can't buy you happiness.
18. Don't let mom pick your husband.
19. Don't tell your husband that you are carrying someone else's baby.
20. Never marry any character played by Ralph Fiennes. Ever.
21. Never invite a particular type of desperate woman to live with you. The type of woman desperate enough to do anything and anyone, including your husband, in order to get her kids back. A woman who your whore of a husband has been trying to bone for some time. Don't do that.
"I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled." - Michael Scott
Hee hee!
~~~~~~~
Think cynical thoughts.
"14. It's totally okay to beat your wife with a stick as long as it isn't thicker than your thumb."
That's actually PRECISELY what those days' law was saying :/
Didn't matter if they could hear or not. A wife washer husbands property. Unless she was drastically being beaten to the point of being on he brink of death, it was acceptable. However it was frowned upon within society.
share22. Corsets hurt.
23. Hats are a valid form of expression.
-Divorce is an option, sometimes the answer.
-Men with money and no personality are basically pigs.
-When your abusive husband is chasing you, run outside, not to your bedroom.
26. Sex is always better with your lover. (instead of your spouse) in arranged marriages
27. Tabloids predate hollywood
28. Being famous somehow causes bulemia, substance abuse, and crappy marriages
29. sometimes a man gets to have his cake and eat it too....
30. If you marry Royalty the dogs will always come first.
31. You have to be miserable and unhappy FOREVER if you want to be a good mother... seriously?
32. The youngest kid matters the least. (she couldnt sacrifice her kids for REAL LOVE, but she contradicted herself with Eliza).
www.photitos.com
:You have to be miserable and unhappy FOREVER if you want to be a good mother"
Hhha---very true!!
33. Bottom line--Men are pigs
33. Never marry a man who loves and treats his dogs better than you.
34. Having 3 people in your marriage can work if you're prepared to live your live miserably..
35. When you find a lover... make sure he's really willing to fight for you... not just upset a few servants and leave.
SLAUGHTER!
36 - It is physically possible to run up stairs in a dress that weighs 50 pounds.
37 - Silly wigs with knobs, tails and rolls make men look formal and dignified (?!?!) (Thank God I didn't live in those days.)
38 - There are some cultures where people never go to the bathroom.
39 - One of Barack Obama's speechwriters was living in 18th century England.
40 - If your best friend steals your philandering husband, don't try to negotiate your revenge; just go have an affair with your true love and keep quiet about it.
~~~~~~~
Think cynical thoughts.
funny and true!!
share"by HelenaHimm (Wed Jan 7 2009 19:11:00)
32. The youngest kid matters the least. (she couldnt sacrifice her kids for REAL LOVE, but she contradicted herself with Eliza). "
I disagree with this statement. She didn't contradict herself per se. She had to choose to lose 4 of her children or 1 of them. She chose to lose just the one, which is what I would have done if forced to as well.
http://www.luminouslips.com
http://www.gblpridejewelry.com
funny
share41- if there's a wig burning in front of you, please make sure not to stare at it for 2 minutes and move very quickly to put it out
42- Don't you ever be a man against a man under authority by going to his place and say to his wife "i love you and i want to have children from you"
43- G is very fertile...Seriously she was popping out babies every five minutes...
So Pretty I Had To Eat Him...
44- Women in those times did not gain ANY weight after having babies.
45- Duchesses expressed themselves by designing dresses.
46- The daughter you have given up to live with another family will always forgive you by naming her own daughter after you.
47- Bath is THE city to find partners for affairs.
48. If you're an aristocrat and your last name is Spencer, your arranged marriage will end in tears. And you'll bear at least one child who isn't your husband's.
49. Tables were long in those days.
[deleted]
57. Thermal water smells like sulfur
58. If you don't believe in true love, close your eyes and let a friend feel you up
50. Always drink wine when you are with child!
-Kelly Ann Baker
51. Women not only didn't gain weight after pregnancies, but they also didn't have any milk in their breasts back then.
52. Your best friend who is sleeping with your jerk of a husband more often than you are is less likely to get pregnant than you.
53. Male babies are more important than females.
54. Only hand your baby over to your lover's family in secluded fields where no one can see you.
55. It takes approximately 45 seconds to realize your wig is on fire when you're drunk.
This post will self-destruct...
www.myspace.com/mytonguenolongerlives
1). Never marry a horny old men with more money than you. He is bound to screw all of your hot friends and treat you like dirt.
2). Even after your husband has just banged a chick that you just saw running naked from his bedroom; that doesn't mean that he isn't still horny and doesn't want more sex.
3). Pretty best friends who haven't seen their children in 14 years are bound to screw your, rich, powerful husband to get them back.
4). Giving birth to a son will get you a fat check and "success at last".
5). If your rich, powerful husband has lovechild and her mother dies; he will bring her home and you will have to take care of her.
6). The son's of your husband's mistress will never be his heirs. He can't possibly make those bastards his heir.
62. Being part of the aristocracy means you will never know what it's like to have true freedom
share63 - Dukes don't make deals.
64 - Women's clothing in the 18th century was complicated.
65 - Beautiful young women who wed old men always, in fact and fiction, wind up with a loveless marriage, but will also always find true love in the arms of a younger but less well to do younger man.
66 - The only groups in the late 18th century in England were the aristocracy, servants and politicians.