2 Cents

I feel successful just letting myself go. I mean releasing my work into the world is a freeing experience. It is exciting and, at the same time, scary as hell! I am a very insecure person. I pretend I am not, but I have constant anxiety. Sometimes when I post, I am even nervous about what people will think. I am grateful for the anonymity of the internet. I have to do weekly posts for my classes and it is the most enjoyable homework I have ever had. I go overboard, compared to the other students, but you know what? I get the best reaffirming comments from my instructors. Posting has influenced and encouraged me to continue writing. Even if it ends up just being for myself, it’s the best therapy I have found.


You make a good point about the discouraging experience I have had with publishing. I was over the moon when my work was excepted. I should have taken everything in stride but it was hard not to get excited. Perhaps the magazine didn’t make it. It was a new venture. My editor was always busy and seemed very unprofessional. I always wonder if he published the stories and didn’t tell me so he didn’t have to pay me. LA is a long way from where I am so it is hard to find out!

I will try to remember what you said about my teacher’s comments. I am a good student and I get so frustrated when I lose points. He is right about the comma but last week I pointed out his grammar error. Guess what! I got extra credit for pointing out his error. He has been an English teacher for a long time so it makes sense that he is stickler. The nice thing about writing (as opposed to business writing) is that one can take liberties in grammar and form. Some of my poetry is meant to look like art itself. I could never draw very well so my art teacher encouraged me to turn my writing into visual art. It was a great suggestion and was a lot of fun. She didn’t like that I swore so much, though. LOL.

Dedicating the book to your mother is a lovely gesture. We are both lucky to have grown up with supporting mothers! Not all of them are like that.


You are right about having a good first and last sentence. I always start my stories in the middle and work my way back and forward. I try to do this so it would not confuse the reader. I like to change my font for different times. The middle parts are tough!


I like your point about not defining characters. I find physical descriptions hard to write for characters. I try to provide enough information so that the reader can see what I see but not so much that they are not allowed to form their own visions. It is my pet peeve, as a reader, to get a description further in the novel when I have already formed the character in my mind. Not that your example is bad. It doesn’t screw the reader over because it leaves room for imagination. It is a beautiful description, by the way.


“Some of them say: if a writer creates interesting characters, they will develop the plot; others say: if a writer has a good plot, the characters will fit in to make the plot convincing. To my opinion: there is truth in both. It's a matter of balance”

So true! My stories are more dependent on the characters interactions as opposed to the plot. Not that I don’t have a plot! I write a lot of conversations which I hope the reader will learn about the characters through. My heroine is usually a strong young woman who is crass and not always a good person. She is part of me, part of someone I would like to be, someone who I can’t be, and she is fun to play with as a writer. I have also written from a male point of view, which is more challenging but just as fun. I have a novel right now that is from a male point of view, but he is not really the main character. It is a post apocalyptical story but it is not in the far future. It isn’t sci-fi. Another novel is about a girl who can save souls from hell (by traveling there), and yet another is about a singer with multiple personalities. I like that I have a wide variety of stories to work on. Gives me an opportunity to choose which world I want to delve into.


“Still I think there is more from where that came...
I hope you don't get bored. “

Of course not ;)




#8 I kind of addressed about the dialogues my characters follow. The words they use have to be identifiable to the character. It is sometimes hard to write a smart character. You have to know your stuff! That is why I can’t write spy novels. They are too smart for me!


I feel that I know my characters my problem is in rewriting. I forget which points I have already made because I have the whole story in my head. My friend helps me with that.


My characters always evolve. One of my characters is tricky because he is going to turn out to be something no one thought he was. It is another challenge that I am enjoying. I like to let the reader learn more and more about the character why they are the way they are. Where they come from. But I like to spread out this knowledge. I know I am always learning things about myself. That's how I want my readers to experience my characters.

I have always worried about writing school because I do not want to be shaped to a conformity. There was a writer’s club in town and that was something I wanted to do. It was a forum for writers and a support group to help get published. Unfortunately it conflicted with my schedule and then when it didn’t it was canceled. :( I like this type of education. What we are doing. Talking not preaching. Not conforming to any right or wrong. Just what we have found works and what doesn’t. That is the best kind of knowledge. From your post I was able the gauge some of my skills. I think some of the concepts I have down….others not so much. It is always a work in progress, isn’t it? :)

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Yes, works from the heart are often like children. We nourish them and watch them grow into their own being. They develop their own personalities and can stand alone without their author holding their hand.

It is funny that you mentioned "Leon." I was just thinking about that movie because I saw Jean Reno on Craig Ferguson the other night. I have not seen a lot of movies with Reno but I have seen Leon. Of course I saw it under the name "The Professional." It is one that stuck with me. Very good movie.

I tried working on children books with a partner years ago. I never really got into it. It takes more patience, I think. I do not have children so maybe that is what makes it hard for me. I don't think like a child anymore. But I have kept a vivid imagination that leads me to thinking up stories as an adult. I am grateful for that!

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I have never wanted children. I used to say I am not good with kids but I am getting better. My mom really wants grandchildren, but my younger brother has provided her with two and another on the way. I am enamored with my niece and nephew. They are cool kids. This hasn't changed my mind about having kids, however. I am a few months away from turning 30. Perhaps my mind will change one day, but I am happy just being an auntie.

When I was young my aunt gave me books all of the time. Between her and my mother reading to me I developed a strong love of reading. I do not spend that much time with my niece or nephew but I have taken to giving them books. I pick up my old favorites at garage sales and library sales. My nephew loves books and he is not yet three. I was overjoyed when they sent me a picture of him on the couch surrounded by all the books I had given him. So I will continue the cycle my aunt started with me and be that aunt. My aunt still gives me books but they are ones that she has read. Actually, she gives them to my mom and she reads them and then they come to me. Then I pass them on! What a cool way to recycle, huh?

Talking about this has given me an urge to try to write a story for my little nephew and niece. I could use their names and their favorite themes. This is something I will have to roll around in my head awhile.

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I am the first to admit that I am a selfish person. Self-centered in a lot of ways. I always say that I won’t have kids because I require too much me time. I really do. I actually lost a lot of friends because I am a homebody and don’t really like to go out and do things. My boyfriend gets mad at me about this because he thinks I’m missing out on life. I don’t feel that way. I am happiest when I am alone reading or writing. That’s just me. My best friend understands this. Our friendship took a hard hit a long time ago and we didn’t talk for almost 10 years. She did something that I just couldn’t forgive her for. A few years back she called me and said she missed me. I missed her, too. We met and talked it out and now are really close again. She knows how I am so she doesn’t get mad that I don’t want to go out all the time with her. She made it a point to come and see me every day between work and picking her son up from daycare after I lost my job. We would have coffee, talk movies and music and life and off she’d go. This all changed a few months ago because she had……a baby.

Our friendship is still there but it is different now. Phone conversations are hard to do. I have to force myself to go over there and try my best to seem interested in the little guy. He’s cute, I’ll admit. When you said those kids like you and you don’t know why, I have that same conundrum. I like to think its because I talk to them like adults because that’s all I know how to do. When we had a friend over with his two kids all of the time I would lose my patience with them because no one was disciplining them. One day I yelled that there was no fighting allowed in my house and took away their toy. You know what? They’ve respected me ever since.

I remember being a kid around adults that didn’t like kids. It was like being a dog under an alpha. You are always trying to impress them while your tail is between your legs!

I think you are right about writers. We require me time. We can have lonely existences. I also think that writers are more prone to depression. Perhaps it is because of our island lives. I do not feel lonely but sometimes I feel alone. Does that make sense? I feel less alone when I hear there are other species out there like me!

You got my mind turning about writing a story for my niece and nephew. It will be a challenge but I like challenges!

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“So much of what you mentioned in your last message is completely there, the way it is.”

I like to hear that I made sense and somebody out there in the world agrees with me!

You are in a kind of tough spot. Over the years we have had to have roommates for one reason or another. Sometimes it was for the money but mostly it was to help out a friend. Two separate roommates were weekend dads. I was working so I was always so annoyed that my weekends were always ruined by having kids over all stinking weekend. I am not talking about as many kids as you are talking about. One or two is too many for me! LOL. I finally said no more roommates. It is worth it not to have to raise other peoples kids for them….I’m exaggerating but you know what I mean!

My boyfriend has family that lives a few hours away. They used to come up a few times a year and stay at our place. First off I never understood why it had to be our place when they could have stayed with the other brother or their mom. Second off, my place became a hub for all of the family to hang out. Third they trashed my house and ate all my food. And I’m almost poverty level so food is precious around here. (We try to garden and gather.) Fourthly, the kids fought and broke my stuff. Fifthly, no one seemed to care besides me and I had to be the you know what and yell! Lastly and the worst was that the parents of these children had a verbally abusive relationship. They were constantly at each other’s throats and made me very uncomfortable. A few years ago they called to say they were coming. Not to ask but to warn us they were coming. I put my foot down and said no. This caused all sorts of problems. Unfortunately, and fortunately, we never heard from them again. I feel guilty but right at the same time. So I feel like I know your pain! Unfortunately I do not have much advice to give you. It’s just a rough spot to be in for all involved.

I always felt it would be fun to pull a Theroux (sp?) and go spend some time in a cabin just being a writer. Someday I might get to do this but it is not in the cards right now. I want to go alone but it also kind of scares me to be in a cabin in the woods all alone. One of my characters does just this but not to write. She goes to hide and drink herself to death because she feels suicide is a sin. One of the other characters tries to tell her that what she is doing is the same as suicide. She argues that it is a disease, and therefore forgivable. This is at the beginning of the story so I get the liberty to go back in time to tell the reader how she ended up where she is and then go forward into what happens next.

“Art is not only an indulgence in selfishness but also, or more importantly, a form of rebellion against conformism.”

This is a brilliant quote that belongs in a book! I have reread it over and over. You really have a way with words, you know!

Off the topic but I just started reading “Island” by Aldous Huxley. I’m not sure if you are familiar. I had heard his name but this is the first book I have read by him. I guess it was his last. I hope it isn’t going to be over my head. LOL. Anyway, I am always running into coincidences in my reading, watching and writing. The island is in the south pacific and it made me think of you! I am not geographically inclined and I’m not sure if it is a real island or a fictitious one. It talks about the oil or something in southeast Asia and I thought, cool! My friend lives there! LOL. I think that the concept of an island fits into our discussion. The main character is a journalist. I always think it’s funny how writers like their main characters to be writers. It might be because main characters are a piece of ourselves. Or an over exaggeration. Or maybe it’s because we understand writers better than other humans and choose to focus on them. My characters are not writers of novels. A few have been song writers or poets. Almost all of the them have a strong connection to music in one way or another.

I think somebody’s taste in music can tell you a lot about them. I’m all over the board when it comes to music. I was raised on Sinatra, musicals, and Andrew Lloyd Webber on one side. The other side was classic rock. I am so glad that I have such a wide variety of music to enjoy. Most recently I am into indie music. I feel that more effort goes into indie music than pop. In fact I haven’t listened to pop since Brittany Spears and the boy bands took over the radio. Sheesh. I love classic rock but it is an era that is done with and finding new classic rock (new in the sense as new to me) is often difficult. There is a limited supply!

Sorry! I’m “talkative” today. There is a storm and I can’t go online so I am writing to you in a Word document that I can copy and paste in a reply to you once the sky clears!

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I am enjoying “Island” so far. I am reading it slowly. I have to say I am a bit confused but I am not that far into it. I will say that I find some of his phraseology amazing. Some of the ideas I have read so far ring very true. I am so glad I picked this one up at the library sale. I can already see how rereading it will probably be necessary!

I have never read Joyce. Actually, I did try when I was a tween. I remember my mom being so amazed when she saw that I took one of the books off the shelf. I don’t remember which one it was but I do remember not getting very far!

Complexity gives me anxiety! LOL.

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“When a book (or especially real life) get's so complex it becomes overwhelming, it's not enjoyable anymore.”

As the gangsters over here say, “True Dat!” There are levels of complexity that are ok. Some of the political thrillers I see I have such a hard time following the plot that I don’t enjoy them. Then again there are some movies and books that need that complexity. “Momento” is a movie that is coming to mind. I love that movie, but will have to say that it still confuses me a bit. “Lost Highway” is one that I will never understand. I have even had it explained to me, and I still don’t get it! Maybe I should give this one another shot…now that I am older and wiser!

Some books I can sit and read in one sitting. “Island” is not one. I am nibbling on it. I read a bit here and there. I don’t really have much time to read what I want to but sometimes I get so wrapped up in a story I don’t do my chores, or my homework. My boyfriend is not a reader and gets mad at me sometimes. “Why do you waste your time on other people’s stories when you could be writing them yourself?”

It sounds like you have a wide variety of music taste, too. I agree with most of your favorites. The Beatles were once my favorite. They are still up there but I have a hard time saying who is #1. It seems to change all the time. I don’t enjoy a lot of country, but some of the old stuff is good. Cash was in a league of his own. I never heard of Nancy Griffith. And I have a deep loathing for ABBA and don’t get in to Cher, but I can forgive you for that….lol. My best friend loves ABBA and CHER. They are her two favorites. We joke around about that all the time.

I have not heard that story about Sinatra. It was a good song. I always wanted somebody to sing “Something Stupid” with me. I tried to get my dad to but it was no go. Tell your girlfriend to go for it! Somebody told me that there will always seem to be somebody better than you out there. But that means you are better than someone else too! I was so scared my first time singing karaoke I stood behind a screen. When I came out nobody knew it was me singing. Somebody said they thought it was the jukebox! After that I had some confidence and even had a stint as a disc jockey for karaoke, weddings, and even a fashion show. None of that would have happened if I didn’t get behind that mike for the first time.

You said you sing “Sweet Home Alabama.” I liked to sing “Give me two steps.” Skynard is another one of my favorites. Tom Petty is up there, too. Bob Dylan was born not too far from where I live, so he is kind of a local celebrity. When I finally saw him live, however, I was disappointed. It was not a good concert. But I had to see him once, right?

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I’m not sure who said it either. James Dean once said “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” I am a huge fan of Jimmy. He was really something else. Wise beyond his years and talented in so many ways, beyond his amazing. Such a tragic figure, yet I always wonder what would have happened if he survived. I just picked up a book that assumes just that in a fictional story. I would tell you the name of it but it’s already under a stack of books I have to read! LOL.

I will have to look up that song. Gene Pitney’s “Town without Pity” is one of my all time favorites. It is always on my playlists!

When I have the time I don’t have the ambition. You know what I mean? It’s like when you shop without much money you find things you want but as soon as you have the money its gone.

I am enjoying Huxley’s style, so far. There is a lot of narrative (?). I mean that there are a lot of spoken conversations. I write like that a lot. I love writing fights. It’s fun to come up with insults. LOL.

Funny you mention War and Peace. I sell books to college buybacks from rummage sales or whatever. The ones I don’t want to look at again. I was just overjoyed that they were accepted War and Peace at the time. An excuse not to read it!

I see what you are saying about music. You do appreciate it, I can tell. My boyfriend does not really care for music…at all. This kind of works out because we don’t have to fight over what music to play. He just doesn’t care. Unless it is super annoying chick music…lol.

I have an obsession with it. I sleep with my mp3 player on. I listen to music in the shower. I listen to it in the car, loudly. I listen to it mowing the lawn. My boyfriend says I sing louder than the mower! It’s so much a part of my day. It’s a release, sometimes a happy distraction, and so fun to share with my best friend who is just as into it as me. My brother and I share tastes, too. I guess I incorporate music into my writing because it merges for me. Like you say, poetry can be found in music. Some great stories have been told through music.

I play the piano, but I quit lessons about 10 years ago. I am getting a new (new to me) piano from my mom soon. I am excited. It is better and smaller than my current one. But it will be almost like saying goodbye to a friend to see it sold and gone. LoL.

Your analogy was wonderful. It kind of put some stuff into perspective for me. Good news! I sent a story in to a local paper. We’ll see! Did I already tell you that? Lol. I was literally shaking when I pressed send on my computer. Had to have a cigarette to calm down. It is so nerve racking. And yes! You are right. It was like…maybe I should have tried harder or changed this or that. Like I said…we’ll see!

I loved your story. I have a soft spot in my heart for elephants because they are my mom’s favorite. They are remarkable creatures and your story was a perfect parable.

I love Nova programs and stuff they show on public tv here. It’s different all the time but I have caught a few on elephants over the years. Did you read “Water for Elephants”? My mom and I read it and then went to see the movie together. It is what we do, I guess. If we read it then we see it together. Can’t wait for the new Great Gatsby. Baz Lurman (sp) is my favorite director of all time and the Great Gatsby is very special to me, too! Can’t wait!

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I agree about James Dean. He was a natural and could have only gotten better. I have also seen some of his artwork and even a claymation short he did about bull fighting. He came from humble beginnings, too, which is an admirable trait. His short life was full of tragedy. His mother died when he was young and his father was so grief stricken he sent James to live with relatives. He had his mother around long enough to be influenced by her love of the arts. I think the things that mold us into what we become are both the good and the bad. I am a blessed person, but I of course have been through some s**t too! What I have been through has influenced my writing. I am constantly stealing what I witness in life. The world provides us with muses. Muses do not have to be human. I once was inspired by one red leaf on a tree where the rest were still green. Literature, movies, music, etc., provide me with plenty of ideas. I can also tell the things I don’t want to do with my writing. I once read a book that had a character “turn on their heel” every chapter! I was so annoyed that the writer didn’t think of another way to portray the action. It was a lesson to me to pay attention to my phrases and adjectives.

I am glad you are different than me when it comes to ambition! Writing for me is something I can’t always turn on or off. But somehow, in my head, I am always writing. I am thinking of plots, dialogues, characters, and humor. Humor is hard to use in writing sometimes. I mean, what I think is funny might not be funny to others. So I test out the “jokes” with friends and family to see if they laugh. Lol.

The biggest problem with dialogues for me is the “he said” “he exclaimed” and coming up with multiple descriptions of verbal an non-verbal signals. I once had a teacher that told me that a good adverb is worth a dozen adjectives. I still think that is some of the best advice I ever received.

Thank you for the best wishes on my attempt at publishing. I have to say that the hardest thing was pushing send. A rejection will be hard but not soul crushing. You hear too many stories of writers getting rejected and then making it big. For some reason it reminds me of Pete Best the drummer before Ringo. He quit to go it on his own and I bet he has a big welt from kicking himself in the ass for that one. I am not going to quit. The toughest part is letting go. But I will work on that! I want to be your #2 writer description!

I understand how you feel about “Water for Elephants.” I get anxiety when I see books come out, or movies where I had the idea before it came out. “Water for Elephants”, in my mind, wouldn’t take anything away from your story. They are really two separate things. The movie was a really good rendition of the book, which you don’t see all the time. I hate the lead actor, but he did ok.

Baz Lurhmann is one of those directors that you love or hate. Each of his movies are so different but they all show that he is a meticulous director. His movies are few and far between but I like to think it is because he takes his time to make it exactly how he sees it. “Romeo and Juliet” is amazing because it is modern, yet still uses the same Shakespearean dialogue. I’m pretty sure it is word for word. Those words against a 1990s backdrop had to be a challenge. It is a beautiful movie but I always regretted his choice of casting Claire Danes as Juliet. “Australia” didn’t disappoint either. The landscape shots are amazing. The story was excellent. It is a longer film, but that is ok with me!

“Moulin Rouge” is on a level of its own. It is my all time favorite. The story, the music, the set, the costumes and the humor together form the most beautiful movie I have ever seen. However, there are not many that would agree with me, in my circle of friends. The first time I watched it I rewatched it 3 times. I bought the soundtrack. I am a weirdo, I know, but I have a hard time watching it because it upsets me so much. This is hard to explain. For a long time I couldn’t listen to some of the music without crying. I own it, but haven’t watched it in years because I don’t want to cry. I really don’t know how to explain it. It’s like it’s too wonderful. Lol.

So yes! If you ever get the opportunity check him out and let me know if you like Baz. I know I’m not the only one in the world that appreciates him! :)

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Thank you again for the advice. I want you to know that I find your ideas very helpful and I take them to heart. I feel that you must be an amazing writer because you are so aware of what it takes to convey images and ideas. In my dialogues there are sometimes two but mostly three characters. One of my stories starts with the people meeting as strangers so I had to come up with a way to describe them. The first scene is an important one and really the middle of the story. I didn’t want to reveal the names of the characters yet to the main character. If that makes sense. So I say, “the taller one” or something like that for a few pages until I let the reader in on who they are. I want their descriptions to form a vague idea, but as you mentioned before, not too detailed, of who they are. Their background doesn’t come in for a whole other chapter but by that time I hope the reader has an idea of who they are as characters. For example one is a young, intelligent, yet impatient and bratty man. The other is kinder, sadder, and more laid back. The girl is a lost soul drug addict and alcoholic. Once I paint that picture I go back to show the reader how they became what they are. I weave through time sometimes by revealing dreams a character has when they sleep or sometimes through dialogue. Once everything is set I begin with the transformation of the characters.

Experience is great for writing. Unfortunately, I am a homebody who doesn’t do much with myself anymore. I live with an active daredevil. He rides motorcycle, snowmobile, whitewater kayaks, and every water sport imaginable. I am scared of everything so we are not really two peas in a pod. I have been kayaking with him once but I don’t like the rapids so we went down a slower river. I saw amazing things on that trip. We saw a bald eagle and a hawk fighting over a fish. They were airborne, each holding their own. They flew only a few feet above our heads to the point where I ducked! We also saw baby ducks learning to swim and a bay full of so many turtles I couldn’t count them all. He hasn’t offered to take me again, even when I asked, because he prefers the thrill of the fast moving rapids.

He bought a motorcycle at the beginning of the summer. It took awhile but I finally got on the back of it. On long trips I find myself thinking about my stories. There is something about riding that makes me examine my plots and characters while I'm taking in the scenery and holding on for dear life! :)

The thing about experience is the fact that I can incorporate more of a realistic, knowledgeable, descriptions into my writing. I now know what it feels like to ride a motorcycle. I know what the river smells like. These little things can add an authentic feel to my writing.

About humor: I am not a comedian, but I am one to get a few laughs. I love listening to stand up and watching old comedies. My sense of humor is different, though. I like your advice of putting it out there. I usually get good responses from my “try-outs,” so why not!

Thank you for your encouragement, as well. I need all I can get. And I hope your getting some writing done, mister! Lol.

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I don’t want to give the wrong impression. I am an extremely blessed person. I come from a loving family. Though I don’t have money, I am slightly above poverty level. I have a nice piece of property, even if the house on it is kind of crappy. I am not starving and I don’t want for much. All the s**t in my life was self-inflicted. As a teenager I was very depressed and ended up on some scary drugs. But I am blessed again because I was able to put all of that behind me. I have scars for my transgressions, but they remind me where I have come from. Treatment didn’t do much for me, but I was able to go clean on my own. Another blessing.

Love is another story. My past relationships have been border-line abusive. Again, this was a decision I made in my life and the consequences were my own. Not that anyone has the right to be verbally or physically abusive to anyone else, but the victim has made a decision to stay and put up with it. The drugs make this decision easier to ignore. Lack of self-esteem can make a person feel like they deserve to be treated like crap.

But it is because of these experiences that I can write about characters with afflictions. I’ve been there and seen it. I have seen others less lucky than me! Old friends of mine pass away every year from overdosing. I feel a bit of guilt about not having to done more for them, but I can’t be around them or the stuff and they knew it.

Changing the subject…..

I think there are a lot of writers and directors that are out there for the shock and awe more than good writing. Horror movies especially have become a contest almost to see who can be the most gruesome. I like gruesome so I am all for it, but the lack of plot and acting skills always takes away from what could have been good horror movie. My boyfriend does not like excessively gory movies. “Hostel” caused a huge argument between us. He feels that I am not right in the head for liking these kinds of films. Maybe he has a point but I know I am not alone. I can be pretty morbid, but that’s just me.

And yes, I get the impression from you that you have it all under control. :) Or more-so than I do, anyway! This is more because of your experience and knowledge on writing and publishing. Of course, I don’t know you very well but I have a gut feeling that you are a very talented writer!

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LOL. I am also insufferable! I have a lot of friends but don’t really consider them much because I avoid contact with the outside world so much. I do have a good friend that totally understands me, so I am lucky. She gets frustrated that I am such a homebody but doesn’t condemn me for it. She also encourages my writing and I am so comfortable sharing with her so that’s another blessing. My boyfriend is starting to get understand, too. We’ve been together for about 10 years. It’s hard to say when because we were friends and then one day he snuck into being my boyfriend. He was a friend of my ex boyfriend’s so it was a little weird for me cuz my ex is a real SOB. We’ve been living together for about 10 years as well. He’s another story all together! Lol. You’re blessed to have found someone that understands you, too!

It is a good thing that you never dabbled in drugs. Alcohol can be worse than other things, though. I bartended many years but never really cared for drinking. Before I was of age I drank than it kind of lost its appeal. I’ll have one once and awhile for the taste of it. I don’t like the feeling of being drunk. I get sick before that point so it’s kind of pointless for me. Also there are strict laws about drinking and driving in the states so it’s kind of a pain to go out. I’m not saying someone should drink and drive!

My best friend is an alcoholic. She recently had a child and I told her that I enjoyed her 9 month sobriety. It is exhausting to be worried about her all the time. She has been in jail twice for drinking and driving. I hoped the baby would change things for her but she’s back at it again. But there is only so much lecturing a friend can do!

I can see how writers are people who like to have things in control. We can’t always control our lives, but we can control what happens in the lives of characters. I agree that villains need a “good” side, or at least a side that a reader can relate to. My main characters are usually good at heart, but struggle with life and it makes them hard. They swear and feel sorry for themselves a lot. They evolve. They struggle. They are real with a hint of beyond life qualities.

The name isn’t ringing a bell but I bet I have read about the case you referred to. I used to read a lot of real crime books. I watch a lot of real crime t.v. The criminal mind fascinates me. And I agree with you…it’s not always so easy to condemn people. I’m not defending them either. I disagree with the death penalty because I think that people that commit heinus crimes are sick in the head. The sickness could be from inside or grown like a bacteria in a unfavorable environment. At one time I was going to school to be a psychiatrist. I loved those classes. I would be making a hell of a lot of money if I would have stuck with that plan. Lol.

I was lucky that on the continuum of abusiveness my experience was more of a verbal and a control thing. It was humiliating. He was always drunk. He cheated on me and didn’t care. Lesson learned. Drunks should be with drunks or quit drinking! Lol.

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It seems we have a lot of the same views on things. Even if we have experienced different lives on opposite ends of the earth! I like that you have a varied interest, like me. And that we can talk about Fitzgerald and Hostel and everything in between. How you mentioned you sounded like you were talking to your shrink…that made me laugh. There is something therapeutic about our pen pal-ish relationship. I look forward to seeing in my e-mail I have a reply on my Sleuth post. It is one of the first things I do in my day. Then I copy your post onto a Word document and leave it up for awhile after I read it. I digest your comments and then burp out my own! Lol.

Your stories sound interesting. I will cross my fingers that someday I will read them and figure out that the author is my on-line friend! Maybe someday in the future someone will stumble upon our posts and recognize our dialogue and story lines as a bestseller. Lol. I’ll keep all my fingers crossed.

I went out garage sale-ing all day today with my friend. We went at the beginning of the summer but after she had the baby she couldn’t. It was nice to hang out with her for an extended amount of time. I’m worn out! I always get this kind of hang-over feeling after running around to these sales. It’s icky. I feel really bad right now because I led my friend on a wild goose chase to a phantom sale. She was giving me hell but when I apologized profusely, she said she was kidding. She’s such an easy going person. Like I said, she is the only one that really accepts me for what I am. I don’t know who I am but I know what I am. Make sense?

If I am a shrink I think I am diagnosing myself as borderline bi-polar. I was court ordered to a shrink when I was younger (told you, I was a trouble maker) and diagnosed with clinical depression. I think that the pills I was prescribed helped me but not because they made me happy. They regulated my sleep. I was hungry once in awhile again. Once I was on a cycle of taking care of myself I was able to get off the pills. Now it comes and goes. I have high points and low points. I’m always anxious. I always study every little thing that happened in a situation. What I mean is, after hanging out with a group I analyze what happened. Did I say anything wrong? Did I make a fool of myself? Did I offend somebody? Am I a joke? Nine times out of ten I am over analyzing everything. I worry about giving myself an ulcer! Anxiety for me is a physical feeling. Like a sickness in your soul.

Ok, enough confessions! Sorry I was kind of a downer today. I’ll try to be more upbeat tomorrow!

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On “Island”: I’m about half way through. There are some times that I read two books in a week, but I’m savoring this one. It is good. I’m enjoying it but it seems that I have to take a bite out of it every day to absorb it. Other books I devour. Depends on my mood. With school and looking for work I’ve been trying to fill my time being productive. We’re so broke I spend a lot of time trying to find easy ways to make money. I sell books to online vendors and just opened an eBay store. I started reading “Island” because it is an easy one to sell to college textbooks sites. The more I read it, the more I feel I won’t be able to let it go. I recently sold “A Map of Time” by Felix Palma. I’m regretting it. I really liked that one.

I will keep a look out in my book scouting for “Darkness Visible.” It sounds intriguing! And you say I’m good with words then you outshine me! “Human life is an ocean, with low and high tides. It's important to let life go with the flow.” I kid, of course but really I admire your way with words, too!

I write the same way you do, in the sense that I write in notebooks than transpose them into “Word.” I have 100s of notebooks full of writings. When the school season starts I buy more for cheap. I’m like a kid in a candy store. OOOOO I’ll take two blue ones, a green one, five black….lol.

I’m so touched by your real life tragic love story. It is the making of a beautiful, real and gritty story. I read it three times. Though it sounds like a tough relationship, I do believe there was a lot of love there. Love sneaks into relationships. You can love someone and not like them. I still have odd feelings for my bastard of an ex. I’m sure everybody does even if the relationship was toxic.

I can’t imagine losing a sibling, let alone a twin, to suicide. Her words to you sound like a self-fulfilling prophecy. In school they taught us about that in psychology class. The example my teacher gave was being afraid to drive in a snowstorm. You think you’re going to crash and then you do. You crash because you are so nervous that it actually happens. Had she looked on the situation with the attitude of “I’m not going to let this happen to me,” things could have turned out differently. I hope that I’m not being offensive or talking ill of those who had passed. It’s not my intention.

I think that you telling her she was beautiful to you meant the world to her. It’s tough losing someone as a companion. It makes it easier when it is possible to remain friends. It becomes tough again when they find someone else. My first love married last year, to a girl from the Philippines (lol). It was tough for me, even though I want him to be happy. I always regret how cruel I was to him. It was intentionally unintentional. I was going down a dark path and pushed him away so he wouldn’t follow me. It hurt him, and I’m always so sorry about that. The saddest thing about it was now I know that he treated me better than anyone ever would again. I read his old letters once in awhile and it really can get to me. He really loved me. Genuinely. He was after me from day one. At the time I had many beautiful girl friends, so I was never the one that got picked first. I was the one the boys called to ask about my friends! Lol. We have remained friends. He lives out in NYC so I see him very seldom. When I do, it is uncomfortable for me yet, I still love to see him. Maybe someday I will get the courage to apologize for how I acted all those years ago.

Using this element in your story is not only therapeutic but is a great way to honor a friendship. I’m sure she would be thrilled to know she still lives on inside you and in your writing. I see it turning a negative into a positive.

Overall, I feel for both of you. But it sounds that you are very happy where you are today and with a girl you love and respect. Some things are meant to be, others aren’t no matter how hard we try to make them work. “Square peg, round hole” syndrome, I guess. But we try to get creative. Maybe if I sand down this square peg I can get it to fit. Maybe…but then it’s not really a square peg anymore. Lol.

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I lost my job. I had a crap job and started school and immediately found a better job, closer to home. Better hours. Better pay. I passed my corporate review and got fired the next day. My manager had been through 3 CSRs in less than 3 years so I try not to take it to heart. Does make finding a job tough though!

So I’m liquidating my assets. I’m doing okay. Not enough to pay my medical bills but I’m working on it. When I got fired I had one month’s insurance left. So I went in and told them to run every test on me that they could. They found pre-cancer cells. Not a huge deal but expensive being that I lost my insurance by the time I could schedule surgery. I am in the hole, but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. I know that it could have been much much worse.

I am done with school in three weeks. I graduate soon after. Thank goodness. I like school but not my school. It’s a private college and they are “raping” me. I know that is a harsh word but they have seriously screwed me over many times. I’ll be happy to be done. I might even right an expose’!

Your story is lingering with me. I feel that it needs to be part of your work. It’s an important part of you! I'm glad you shared it with me.

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My short sentences were subconscious, I assure you. I think you hit the nail on the head, though. There is a sort of urgency in short sentences. They are more to the point and you can almost hear the period being slammed down behind them. It is a bit hard to talk about what I have been through, but I think it is more that I don’t know if anyone wants to hear it. I hate to whine because I feel that, despite everything, I am a very lucky person. Most of my unluckiness I have created myself. The job was just a bad experience all around.

I jumped into a job that I knew would be tough. I thought that I could deal with the crappy manager because the pay was good. But a person can only take so much, I guess. I was fired after I told her that I felt uncomfortable watching her kids in the office. They were old enough not to need a sitter, but as siblings they fought. Being how you know I am with kids, I voiced my opinion. It wasn’t in the job description and I told her I didn’t feel I should have to discipline their kids. She took great offense to that. Cie la vie. I’m okay with it now. I don’t want to go back to work but I know I have to. I just got out of my graduation orientation meeting and they talked to me about job placement. Hopefully there is something that involves a little writing and creativity out there!

Please do not worry about writing short or long responses. Do what you feel. I am always in the mood to read whatever you write. I look forward to it. I’m not always in the mood to respond, of course. Sometimes I need to think. But I leave your post up in my Word files until I answer you. I don’t feel pressured, so please don’t think that either. Like I said, it’s something I look forward to.

I’m starting to get replies on some other posts I’ve done for imdb.com, which doesn’t happen often. I politely slammed “Let Me In” (2011 American version) and have heard from the fans. I haven’t gotten any hate posts, which I can’t stand. I like it when people can differ and respect each other. “Black Swan” I got a hater right away. It wasn’t vulgar but it had a condescending tone to it. I replied back sweetly and respectfully. Maybe I can set an example. Lol.

Hope all is well with you. I’m busy busy busy with the end of the quarter in 3 weeks and graduation soon after. Also selling a lot of stuff on EBay, which is a lot of work when it comes down to it! It’s good it’s going, though. My Jeep needs some help, medical bills, well, you know that story! It’s amazing how a person can live on what they have though, I’ll tell you that! We aren’t starving and we aren’t in eminent danger of losing anything. Like I said….lucky!

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Wow! That’s a lot of words in one sentence. I get in trouble from time to time for having too long of sentences in my essays. But they weren’t that long! Lol. What I like about writing is that there are no real rules, unless it is graded by an English teacher. I like poetry that looks like art. I try to make my poetry have an aesthetic appeal by strategically placing short sentences and long ones in a way that makes it look cool. Well, to me anyway. My art teacher in high school liked that I did that, too.

You are a very well rounded individual when it comes to literature. Do you speak many languages and if so do you read in those languages, as well? I took two years of French but it didn’t sink it. The U.S. schools don’t encourage foreign languages as much as other countries. I had to take two years of a language. But English is taught for all 12 years! In college I’ve gotten away with not having perfect mechanics in my writing until this quarter. My communications teacher was an English teacher for 16 years so he’s very picky. It’s a challenge because I get marked down points for every tiny mechanical error. I’ve been dealing with this by changing the way I write for him. If I am not sure if the sentence needs a stupid comma, I change the way I present the sentence. He thinks I am improving but really I am just fooling him!

About “haters” posting. I think that the anonymity of the internet makes people more brave. When I get hate posts I try to imagine that the other person is some little computer nerd that would never say anything like that face to face. If it makes them feel better about themselves, so be it. I don’t let it upset me anymore. When I first started posting I did and didn’t post for a long time. Now I find it kind of humorous!

Thank you for your well wishes on graduation. I am so happy to be done with this school. I have been in college on and off since high school. I almost finished my human services degree than decided I didn’t want to do that for a living. So now I’m in business courses, but I’m thinking of going back and finishing that first degree at the other school. Then maybe I’ll go to the big university and try an English major. Lol. Professional student. If one could only get paid for doing so……

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It must be an interesting experience to read novels in their native language. I, of course, can’t. I once read “Blindness” by a Portuguese author named Jose Saramango. I had seen the movie and wanted to read the book after. I knew there was more to the story. It was a difficult read, but not so much that I got bored with it. The sentences were long and it was a whole different style than I was used to. Nobody was named and since everyone is kind of blind the story leaves a lot for interpretation. I think it helped I saw the movie first, because I could keep the characters straight. It was a really good book. Terrifying and very realistic. I would definitely read another Saramango book, if I ever find the time/get the chance.

I watched a random movie last night called “The Extra Man.” It is kind of an odd movie, but it really drew me in. I mention it because the main character has an obsession with our friend Gatsby. Kevin Kline plays an eccentric “gentleman.” I’m not sure I would recommend the movie. I’m still not sure what to think of it. It was just a weird one but it made me laugh.

We recently purchased a second-hand projector so I’ve been inclined to watch a lot more movies lately. That’s not good! I have homework to do…lol. It’s not the best projector but it is fun to watch movies on a 5 foot screen! Black and whites look great! It has to be dark out, though or else it is hard to see. This is probably a good thing. I don’t watch tv all day.

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I think I would like to read in other languages. When things are translated there is a chance that the translator is misinterpreting something. There are probably good translations and bad…I wouldn’t know. I can see how it could be very time consuming and tiresome if one had to look up a lot of words. At least in English if I don’t know it I can pretty much figure it out.

I really like to watch foreign movies. It is really hard for me, though. I don’t just watch movies. I’m cooking, cleaning, sometimes even doing homework. So I listen more than I watch, sometimes. There are times when I have to rewind or start things over because I don’t know what is happening. I know it is not the ideal way to watch movies, but I have to do what I can do. I don’t really get good television reception so I put movies in.

So I recently told myself to check out one foreign film a month. I can fold laundry and still read subtitles! I like French comedies. There are some good films coming out of Norway, too. And Asian horror movies freak me out! (In a good way!)

Interesting that both of those songs were French. I actually love French music. I don’t know what they are saying but I sing along anyway. I am not too into “World Music” but French sounds so nice. There is also some old Russian songs I listen to. I like the beat. Again, no clue what they are saying!

About the internet: I can’t believe I ever lived without it! I do get in trouble with what I like to call “Google Diagnosis.” I can be a hypochondriac so I’ll call my friend and say something like “I think I have a flesh eating amoeba in my brain!” Lol.

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Forgive my late response! Busy weekend! My boyfriend’s sister’s family is in town from NYC and I had a ton of homework to do. I hope you missed me! Lol.

I am not well travelled, but when I did spend some time on the East coast it was a really odd experience for me. Here were all these people who were well read and shared a lot of the same views as me. But I still felt out of place! A lot of my friends don’t read. Well, then again, I don’t have a ton of friends. My boyfriend is very intelligent when it comes to mechanics, history, politics, gardening, woodworking…..I could go on and on. But if you looked at our grocery list he wrote today you would probably assume he was an idiot. Lol. I can read, write, and spell well but I don’t know crap about mechanics. If anyone is to judge anybody, I feel it should be for what they are and not what they aren’t. I admit I judge people but it is based on their actions and ethics. Most of all I judge them on how they treat others. That’s what matters to me. The heart inside.

Shakespeare was a genius, no doubt. My screen name is based on Hamlet. I used to identify well with her. I have not read all his works and have probably seen more plays than I have actually read. So if you want someone to talk to about Shakespeare, I can hold my weight for a little while.

I see you deleted your second post. I hope this is not because you changed your mind about sharing it with me, but rather to keep the plot of your story secret from the World Wide Web. I think you really have a great thing going. I think that you made the right decision about the girl. Too many stories out there take the convenience path. I hate when I see it overused. I mean that they take the convenient path to avoid certain subjects. Hopefully I’m making sense. Or conveniently there is a doctor or policeman when needed. That kind of stuff doesn't happen in real life.

Again, forgive me for my delayed response. Hope you are done with your dark section of your novel. I know that it can take a lot out of a person to write about such things!

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I am in agreement with you once again. I think we both feel that we want to talk to real people. Intellectuals can be boring! They are also not real. They are collections of other peoples words and thoughts. They can just remember them better than you or I.

I can remember a lot of lyrics, but poems are another thing. I like poetry, but lyrics can be amazing! One of my favorite singers right now is a young lady out of Canada named Basia Bulat. Her lyrics are somewhat over my head but I love them. She is kind of folk-y. Not something I’d usually listen to but there is something about her use of strings and sometimes horns. Not only that her lyrics blow me out of the water! I would love to meet her someday and ask her…”Where do you come up with your lyrics?” Here is a small sample:

“Oh the birds of paradise came to me yesterday
laughed when they told me my fate
We’d be cold, We’d be tired
But we could breathe
And someday I’m gonna leave
this place.”

Or

“Tomorrow I’ll know by the silver in your eye
Coursing down on your cheek
Tomorrow I’ll know by the rubies in your voice
they’ve been calling your name to me lately…”

Her songs really paint pictures in my head. She’s amazing. I can’t believe she is only in her early 20s!

It makes me happy you knew about my name. I’m scared of water, somewhat, so I guess that might be an ophelia relation…lol. Actually I was on the swim team but I have nightmares of going down in vessels. The ocean terrifies me. Flying to Hawaii was very nerve racking. If I can see land, I’m ok because I know which way to swim! Otherwise I feel that I loved once like Ophelia and it ended badly. I still feel for her but I’m stronger as a person.

I did not figure out your screen name. I have read “Flowers for Algernon.” I think I was required to read it for school at some point, I remember liking it. I’m glad you capped it for me because I needed a reminder of how it went. I thought your screen name was non-algerian….lolol!

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Your night swimming description was cute. It shows how we need to face our fears in order to experience something incredible. I am not phobic about swimming, I’m phobic about drowning….lol. When my boyfriend and I were in Hawaii we went with my family to go snorkeling. My dad is an experienced scuba diver. We went to a beautiful cove. I had no intention of going snorkeling but when I got there my boyfriend said he wanted to but wouldn’t go without me. Sneakery!

It was actually terrifying. I couldn’t figure out that I could breathe under water. Finally, when I started getting more comfortable I actually did cut my foot on some coral! They frown on that in this cove. You are not allowed to touch the coral. When I came up my swimsuit was down further than it should have been. I totally exposed myself in front of everyone. I didn’t notice until my dad said something. How humiliating.

Looking back, I’m glad I did it. I saw some amazing fish and coral. I’m not saying I would do it again! I even get claustrophobic watching underwater scenes in movies. I would never want to be in a submarine!

Your experience could be put into a novel, as well. I have a similar line from the one you quoted from my post that I incorporated into a story.

“True talent can only be displayed by the sober. Those who can find muse only in the darker pleasures of life are merely impostors riding on smoke and mirrors.”

I’ve always been proud of that line.

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I am glad that I saw you responded today. It was my turn to miss you! Lol. It is really ok to write to me only when you feel like it. I would hate to see our friendship turn into something of a duty. I was reading “Island” this morning and wondering about you at the same time. I am ¾ of the way through now and I think that I am liking it better and better as I go on. There are a lot of characters with funny names so that part has been confusing. What I do like about it is the many different dialogues between characters. Some ideas I agree with, others I don’t.

I guess the reader is supposed to be like Will Farnaby. We are outsiders looking into a new world. My favorite part is when they talked about men (and some women) being Peter Pans or Muscle Men. I can relate to that. I can see it in my world, too. Where I am at right now Will is visiting a family and they are talking about how they artificially inseminated to add a certain gene pool into their family. I’m not sure how I feel about that concept in real life but it certainly is an idea, isn’t it.

I can see reading “Brave New World” in the future. Right now I’d like to finish “Island” and move on to something SIMPLE! Lol.

I usually read 2-3 books at a time. One more serious, one less serious, and a graphic novel or two. I’ve only recently got into graphic novels (about a year or two) but I am really enjoying them. I wish I had the talent to draw because I can really see one of my stories done up in that format.

About Shakespeare, you are right. Genius. Period. Not much else to say because he would have said it better! I have seen most of the movies you mentioned and a few other adaptations. I even saw the new “Gnomeo and Juliet” just because I wanted to see how they adapted that story for children. I won’t say it was a great movie, it was ok, but there were some clever references to the original tale.

I was thinking, if you would rather exchange e-mails than write for all to see, though I feel we are relatively safe on this board, I would be okay with that. Mine is easy. Just add @yahoo.com after my IMDB screen name. Let me know what you think.

I am so glad you’ve been getting some writing done. I’ve done a lot of plot work in my head lately but I’m done with school here in two weeks so I have a ton of homework, tests, and graduation planning to do. I’ll be so glad to be done. The school is helping me find employment which is great but I am having anxiety about going back to work. I really don’t want to! Lol.

Another thing we have in common: I love to write during rainstorms. There is a limited season for them here but we do get some doozies. I live about 20 miles from Lake Superior. We live in snow territory. Over the years I have come to appreciate the snow and cold. There is something about it. Even with the trouble of plowing, shoveling, icy roads……I don’t ever want to move somewhere with no snow. I don’t get into snow sports, like my boyfriend. I’m perfectly happy to be cooped up inside. Although, I have always dreamed about dog sledding. I wish I could afford some Huskies. I am a dog lover like you wouldn’t believe.

One novel I started to write was about a girl who lived up in Alaska. She lived in the middle of nowhere and grew marijuana strains in the summer. Her husband was a no good *beep* who only flew up to see her when the crops were ready to be sold. She is left alone all winter to fend for herself. She has a baby, before my story begins, and the baby is eaten by a bear when she is out trying to gather firewood. She kills the bear and makes a coat out of it, with the head as a hood. She becomes a force of nature. She raises some wolves she finds abandoned and uses them as sled dogs and protectors. One day a plane goes down. It is the feds looking for her husband, but she doesn’t know it. She rescues a survivor who thinks he is being rescued by a bear!

It gets romantic but I really don’t write romance well so I elude to sex when it occurs. I try to capture the romance in dialogue and how the characters respond to each other.

I’ll probably erase this post after you respond. Keep the story under wraps! Lol.

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Now I wish I would have Brave New World first! lol.

Your dog story almost made me cry. I get so emotional about dogs. There is a news item they have been playing over here in the States. One of our helicopters went down in Iraq. I did not cry. I might get angry about it but I try to push it out of my thoughts. I don’t want to talk about the war. I hate it. During the funeral of one of the soldiers his dog walked up to the casket, sighed and laid down with a sad thump beside it. I told my mom the other day that I wish they would quit showing that on the news. That dog breaks my heart every time!!!

Did you see the movie with Richard Gere? “Hachi” I watched it and cried and cried. It takes a lot to make me cry over a movie. I promise I am not too wishy washy! But when it comes to dogs…..I cried for days over that movie. Maybe if it had not been a true story I would not have been so over emotional. The real story took place in Japan. I guess there is even a memorial for him there!

About Yahoo. That is up to you. I’m putting the ball in your court. I like talking here but it is because I am talking to you. I’m fine continuing the way we are if you prefer. I just wanted to throw that option out there to you in case you ever want to send me something you don’t want on the internet. And I’m talking stories, mister! (I TEASE!)

I’m glad you like my plot for the story. It is one of many in a file cabinet. I work on it, in my head. I’ve always done that. When I’m bored, like when I was working, I busy myself with plot work!

About the romance part of stories. This is something I will have great difficulty with. Especially sexual scenes. My friend laughed when proofreading one of my drafts because I wrote “And then they did it. And it was good.” She teases me all the time about that. It wasn’t my intention to leave the line like that but I never really went back to it. This is probably because I am not a very sexual person. I’m not sure what is wrong with me. It might have been the few bad experiences I had when I started dating. But I held onto my virginity until I graduated high school. I was terrified of becoming pregnant. Not that I didn’t have offers! But the way I was treated, as a piece of meat, really turned me off of sex. I hope I am not getting too personal for you.

So this personal weakness makes it really difficult for me to write about. My romantic scenes are mostly innocent and flirtatious. Mostly I try to show how the characters change when they fall in love. They become happy, brave, caring or martyrs. There is romance in all my novels, but I try not to let that part take over the story.

Maybe I am doing the same with my life……………..

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It is always hard to lose a dog. I’ve been lucky too in that respect. My dog now is something really special. She chose me, I didn’t choose her. She is the smallest dog I’ve had, but she’s still a medium dog. She’s a border collie mix. She’s an original, I’ll tell ya that! She loves me like a child loves their mother. I love her like an over protective mother! She is 11 and showing signs of aging. But she still loves to run and play. If it wasn’t for those grey hairs you’d never know how old she was.

Just thinking about losing her is enough to make me cry. I love dogs too much not to have one though. There are too many here in the States without homes. I can give a few a good life in my life and try to look at it that way when they pass on.

I know my line wasn’t good. That’s why my friend teased me. It was something to put because I wanted to skip it. Perhaps I need to read some of the authors you mentioned who do tasteful sex scenes. I know I need help in that area.

I’m so naïve that I would have never put two and two together on the poem you quoted. It makes sense, though!

Short note today…super busy!!! Talk soon!!

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My parents keep saying the same thing. This is our last dog, this is too hard. When I was born my parents had a golden retriever named “Shultz.” My aunt had found him on the side of the road and no one ever claimed him. I always say, the best dogs find you. I was so blessed to have such a sweet dog to grow up with. He was very protective of me from day one. My mom says he would lay beside my crib. If a new person showed up at the house to see me he would stay between me and them until my parents would tell him it was okay. He lived until I was 6 and he was a ripe old age. He was sick and my parents had him put down. I don’t really remember much about what I felt back then. I think I was confused. A new puppy we picked out didn’t end up working out in our small home. He was a really bad puppy, more so than others I had since. We took in another retriever who had been abused to the point where she was very timid. She was beautiful but had a lot of anxiety problems. We gave her a good rest of her life. She was mine more than my families. I do remember when the cancer took over her body. I remember the day they were going to take her in to be put down. It was awful. I had to be in school. I took pictures of us together. I still have them but they are so hard to look at. She was so sick and I was trying so hard not to cry. Omigod! I’m going to cry now! The worst and ironic part was in English class that day my teacher put in the movie “Old Yeller.” It was like lemon juice on the paper cut. I had to be excused and spent the next few days of English class in a study hall.

I’ve had a couple wiener dogs. I’m not a huge fan of small dogs but the first one came to us through my Grandma. His household wasn’t working for him. He was getting attacked by the other two dachshunds. His name was Sven. He came from a long line of funny named dogs. Johnson, Johnson Jr, and our Sven. He lived a relatively short life because he had chronic back problems. He was still a good little dog. Johnson Junior, JJ, came to us after my Grandma died. He was so fat his belly touched the ground! He was scared of everything. I think he lived almost 20 years. My mom said it was because he was too afraid to die. He used to love marijuana smoke. I didn’t force it on him, so don’t call the authorities, lol. I think it helped him feel better when he got old.

When I moved out I got my Sadie. I call her Sadie Bean. She is the one I told you about. The house I bought kind of came with a German Shepherd. “Lucky” had not been so lucky. I am sure he was abused. He was sweet, really, but if you picked up a shoe or a fly swatter he growled. I didn’t like that. With a big dog that made me nervous that he might hurt somebody. My house insurance didn’t allow shepherds in their policy, but we just couldn’t get rid of him. Him and Sadie were sweethearts. And then there came puppies!!! My dog was a teenage mother!!! Cool pups though, my parents kept one. I wish I would have, too. Apparently they all had tragic fates. One got eaten by a bear. One hit by a car….the curse of “Lucky.” We don’t know what happened to him. He disappeared on my birthday one year. I was certain the neighbor shot him, but the authorities said it wasn’t something they were interested in investigating. Later we found a well on our property that had once been covered up. My boyfriend believes he is down there. It’s sad to think about him dying in a deep hole like that. My boyfriend was attached to him more than I was. It was really hard on him. He got drunk, and he’s not a drinker. It was heartbreaking to see his heartbreak.


I think you are right. My inhibitions, if that’s the right word, towards sex make it hard for me to write about. It’s something I need to get over, but aside from therapy, I don’t know how. I once got on a romance novel kick, not because I enjoyed them but because the sex scenes were so funny. There were so many of them they had to come up with new words to describe them. Now I giggle when I hear the word “triangle.” Lol.

For now, I think I will avoid the scenes in my writing. I will allude to it. Like in the movies where they pan to the fireplace.

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Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!

Okay, I'm not too sorry but I feel a bit bad about ditching our conversation lately. Believe me it was not because I wanted to!

It was the last week of school this week. Well final projects were due Sunday and I never started on some of them until the Friday before! I am a bad girl! But apparently I work well under pressure. Straight A's again!

My computer has also been being mean to me. Hard to log onto pages. Really frustrating when I was trying to finish my finals!

Stressed to the max. It's pretty late right now but I promise I will be more available starting tomorrow! I graduate Thursday and then I am going to not feel so frickin' stressed out!

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Though it has been only about a week it feels like forever! It has been really busy around here which is good and bad.

Graduation was really overwhelming. Would you believe I won an award? “Inspirational Student” which means a nice check and a pretty glass etched trophy thing. I couldn’t believe it. They also made a big deal about my perfect attendance, which is laughable because I went to school online! Only one at graduation with a gold tassel was me! (For honors)! I am so glad about the money because I was almost in trouble for a minute there. The property taxes on my place are ridiculous and the house insurance and car insurance are all due at the same time! Whew!

Started a small job. Only a few hours a week putting up new magazines at the local grocery store. Easy and good pay. Sucks about the hours.

I finished Island. I was glad to finish it! Now reading a Sparks novel (yes, girly wishy washy) and I’m halfway through. Partly because I’ve had a lot of “hurry up and then wait” time. I think I will wait a few years and read Island again. But before that I will try Brave New World.

Found a great used book sale! I got a lot of old first editions. Unsure if I should sell or keep some of them. But I picked up some Anais Nin books, which we discussed earlier. I had read a few books by her but need a refresher.

Hey, I just found out the smurfs are from Belgium? What?!? I was a fan as a kid and have been revisiting the cartoon lately. There is a rumor that Smurfs were modeled after the KKK so I had to dispel that. It was just an urban legend but that’s how I found out that PEYO was from Belgium….but you probably knew that! Lol.

Anyways, I hope all is well with you. Hope you’ve been writing! I will try to be more in touch. I always feel like our posts are slightly therapeutic. I guess we all need to talk to someone. I am glad that someone is you! If you’ll forgive me again for delaying our conversation!!!

Write soon. Miss hearing from ya!

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Another similarity…I don’t care for the superhero comics, either! I did read “Watchmen” because somebody told me it was like the Bible of Graphic Novels. I had a hard time getting into it, at first, but did see the deeper story in it and I’m glad I read it in the end.

I am not Catholic but for some reason I have a deep interest in Catholicism. My favorite graphic novels, so far, have been “Preacher” and I love “Constantine.” Another favorite is “Transmetropolitan” which I finished recently. It is about what I can only describe as a Hunter S. Thompson of the future. It is crass, violent and political. I really liked it. Of course, I loved Hunter’s works but lost respect for him after his suicide. I don’t like that he killed himself with his little grandson in the next room. That’s just wrong!

Right now I am reading the series “Scalped.” It is about a Native American reservation. It is very violent and has been okay so far. It does seem to get better as I go, though.

I am also reading “American Vampire” which I was very skeptical about. I used to like vampires before they became so popular with the “Twilight”’ series, which I think is so dumb. But American Vampire is different. It’s set in the 1920 and flashes back to the late 1800s. Its vampires but it is also a western. Steven King was involved in the first one, if I remember right, but I don’t see his name on the second book. Also reading “The Stand” series, which is one of my favorite Stephan King books. The graphic novels are very much like the movie.

I have only been into graphic novels for a couple years. I am so enamored!

Another fun one was “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.” Same classic story but add zombies. Fun read!

I used to love TinTin comics! I read them all when I was young. So maybe I have been into comics longer than I thought! Smurfs were my favorite, though. My mom has a picture of me in Smurf pajamas, watching the Smurfs and eating Smurf Berry Cereal off my Smurf TV tray! Lol.

Also like Neil Gaimen’s works. “Coraline” turned out to be a really good movie!

Glad you are getting some writing done! I have been writing musings, but that is about as far as I get. Too much reading! Lol.

I will check out your suggestions. I am always open to finding new graphic novels. It is sometimes hard to find the good ones!

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Yes, the “somebody” probably just liked it that much. Lol. He is married to my boyfriend’s sister and they live out in NYC. He actually has a line of graphic novels coming out! He is a photographer, and I forget the name they call it but he uses pictures in his comics. I told him honestly that I never liked that style before, but he is using it to make short biographies of real, interesting people he meets out in the big city. It is really neat!

I have seen the movie “The Spirit” and really liked it. I will have to see if I can acquire it from the libraries. I like Frank Miller, a lot. I love his art of drawing women. I’m not a lesbian but find the pictures very beautiful. I would love to have some of them blown up into posters for my house décor! Sin City was a wonderful movie and I love the actual novels themselves.

I really like them when they are violent and gory. The dark side of me, I guess. Lol. That is what turned me onto them in the first place! I don’t like a lot of Anime but Deathnote appealed to me. I read the whole series and then watched the movies. LOVED THEM! The plot is so intricate, yet brilliant. There are a lot of anime I sway away from but the ones that Disney has bought are sometimes available at the library. “Spirited Away” was one that I watched and watched again immediately after. It was like a dark dark Alice in Wonderland.

I know what you mean about religion. I was raised a Lutheran but one of my Grandmas was a devout catholic. I don’t agree with the religion, can’t say I agree with any one in particular. When I was confirmed I wrote my essay about how I didn’t agree with the church. I said “I believe in Jesus, I believe in God and I want to worship in my own way.” My pastor asked what that meant. I explained that I felt closer to God sitting under a tall tree, or standing on the shore of a lake, or in a quiet room. I didn’t feel the same way at church. I didn’t think the people there were real. I don’t like the songs. I like some old gospel. I sing to God when I feel like it. Old songs like “Down to the River” or “I’ll fly away”. The latter I sang for karaoke on request every night I was the deejay. Alison Krauss has a really good version, if you ever want to hear it.

Anyway, without getting too deep into politics, I don’t know why I am so fascinated with Catholic beliefs but I am. It’s the Dogma I guess. (Which is a great movie by Kevin Smith!)

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Scoured my library today, but they have no Eisner. The good news is some the libraries that are in my library system have some. Not a lot but some. I bet that if I went on the state site I would find a whole bunch. I did look at some of his covers and art work online. Can’t wait to read one. I am starting with NEW YORK. I have been so it might be relatable. Plus my graphic novel guru, lol, is out in NY so it peeked my interest.

I just got to the last book of “The Stand.” Now I can’t get the final one for awhile, which irks me. It just got released so I’m sure the library will get it eventually to complete the series. HOPE SO!  I liked the book and the movie. Stephan King for me is hit and miss. But there is something about that religious stuff…like I told you before. Don’t understand my obsession but it is not an unhealthy one so I guess I’m still okay.

In life I have been busy. Started a small job a few hours a week. I’m calling myself a media manager but it’s a joke. It is a merchandiser position. I take all the books and magazines down at the store and put the new ones up. It is fun to see who got the best seller of the week!

About violence in graphic novels. I can agree that some is unnecessary but I like the way the violence is expressed through art. I have a weakness for Eminem because he really puts his soul out in his songs. He tells the world what is going on his head. He doesn’t act on the thoughts but found a different venue to release them. I know it sounds stupid. I’m not a huge rap fan. But some of his littler known work is absolute poetry. Despite the violence.

You know, it took me a long time to find someone that appreciates graphic novels. I don’t think that any two people will love and hate the same ones. I think that there is a graphic novel for everybody. Too bad they get a bad name. I get teased about it all the time. But I’m not reading crap! I diversify. I love looking at all styles and am having fun discovering new artists and authors.

I remember now that about seven years ago I became familiar with the works of Charles Addams. The early Addams family stuff. I was into the dark side of it. How it was so different from other early comics. I think it started in ’32 or ’38 in the New Yorker. I transferred in book after book. The comics were dark but so clever and sometimes hilarious. I fell in love with the style and I guess maybe that was my first taste of loving the artistry of graphic novels.

Hope all is well with you. I don’t know how or why but I sense that you are stressed or depressed by your posts. I could be wrong. I hope I’m wrong!

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I agree that comics have gotten a bad rap. I think it is actually pretty ignorant that people feel that way. Yes, there are some comics and graphic novels that are crap but look at every form of art. Every form has its high ends and low ends. I guess my thought is if a kid wants to read comics at least they are reading! And that should be encouraged. My friend’s 6 year old likes to be read to but not so much to read on his own. He can read well for his age, he just doesn’t have the interest. But he recently picked up some old “Peanuts” books by Charles Shultz. My best friend is enlightened enough to know this is a good thing!

I totally understand getting down. I knew it wasn’t directed at me. Just a feeling I got after a few posts. I have struggled with clinical depression. I did see a shrink, which was court ordered. I know it helped a little but what really helped….and hear me out…..was the medication. Here’s the deal. When I wasn’t sleeping and I was stressed all day my endorphins couldn’t do their job. The medication sucked at first, but it zonked me out. I woke up rested. I got hungry and actually wanted to eat 3 meals a day. After a year, I asked to be lowered on the meds. Not long after that I took myself off. I felt it wasn’t really the medicine, it was how I was living. Amazing what good sleep and nutrition can do for a person.

I’m not telling you to go on drugs. Just relating. I hated being on meds but it was what I needed to get right again. That was over 10 years ago. I still get depressed. Funny, when I do I write. My boyfriend and best friend know that when I’m writing I can be unavailable for hours….days. I am putting myself somewhere else. I can see how personal your story is and how that can affect your moods. I think this is the price of an artist. Maybe it is called “starving artist” because we are stressed, not because we are poor. Lol. And see how I lumped us into that category. You and I my friend are of that world. Some of the best of us have succumbed to the dark side of our art. What we have to remember is not all survive it and we do, don’t we. The two of us? We survive. Proving we are strong. Others were not so strong….

There is a line in Don Mclean’s “Vincent” that I am hearing in my head. Beside my desk is a huge print of “Starry Night.” Van Gogh is a favorite of mine and this song was a beautiful tribute. Anyway, the lines are....

“Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how, perhaps they'll listen now”

If you have never heard this song, check it out. THIS IS HOMEWORK! Do it! :)

I remember hearing that as a kid and it stuck with me. I didn’t know a lot about Van Gogh but this song really got to me, even at a young age. He did suffer for his sanity. Life was not good for Vincent. But life is good for us right? Not great but I know that I have more security in my life than a lot of people. I have a house, a crappy house but it is a house, a boyfriend, a dog, a computer, wonderful parents, and a million movies and books at my disposal. When I’m down I remind myself that. I still get down, trust me! But I know it will pass. Sounds like you know it, too!

I have scoured the internet looking for a copy of “Chein Rouge…” but can’t find an English copy. I do have 2 years of French but I skipped that class a lot and didn’t retain much. I remember “Mon Poulet Es Fioux” and I’m probably spelling that wrong. Why do I remember my chicken is cold? Lol. I don’t know! I guess I thought it was funny.

I might have better luck finding Alan Sillitoe.

By the way, no need to to apologize to me! I get it. Just hoping that I can maybe cheer you up….lol. Why? Cause I like you too!

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I know what you mean by disgust. I get that way, too. A good reason why I want to move. The land we have has been owned by my boyfriend’s family for 3 generations. His family wasn’t…..I don’t know how to say it without sounding harsh….let’s just say different than mine. His step-brother wrecked havoc on the neighborhood and it took me 10 years to get my neighbor to smile or wave at me. We get unsavory visitors all the time. People have shown up with guns, drugs, and violence. This was not something I was used to. I have put a kabosh to a lot of it. But there are still people that show up here….usually when they get out of jail or prison. We are both fed up with it. I’ve had to swear like a sailor and literally kick people off my property. At first this place was like the place people always came to party or to crash here. I put my foot down. People got mad, things got stolen, things got wrecked, but the drama here has lessened considerably. Lots of these people think I’m a bitch. I think they made me be one.

So I get disgusted with the human condition. A week ago I posted on the board for “Sarah’s Key” a new movie based on a great book about the effect of the war on France. It is not a fun movie to watch but it was very good. Anyway, I posted because a girl came over a few hours after I got home from the movie. Her boyfriend was fixing on a car in our garage with the help of mine. To be honest, I knew that there was something I didn’t like about this girl from the get go. But I always give people the benefit of the doubt. She pulled out a swastika emblem and showed me. Asked if I had some thread to get it back on her jacket. I was so disgusted I was shaking. I told her no “I don’t have thread for that.” And I told her I just got home from a movie that maybe she should see. I was really upset for the rest of the day. I don’t want these people in my life. Sometimes there feels like there is no escape.

We want to move really bad but the housing market has crashed over here. Our house is falling apart….man….easy to get down about that! I just try to keep my chin up and think that what is meant to happen will. Hopefully things will go our way!

Glad you’ve heard “Vincent”. Less homework for you!

I think your story is taking a toll on you. The fact that you have so much heart into it only reiterates that it will be a good story. I think that it has been therapeutic for you, or will be once you finish it. The girl that you have so much guilt over…I think this is a healthy way to deal with it. It is a beautiful tribute. Can’t wait until you publish, become famous, and have this book translated in English so I can read it and say….This is my friend!

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You are so sweet. When I read your e-mail I immediately began to consider sending you the first chapter of a manuscript I’ve been working on over the years. It is a big step for me to consider. I am close to my work, as you understand. This hesitation has less to do with you and more to do with me.

I have had some confirmation on my work. Some criticism. It is hard to take criticism at times but I know that I am not a perfect writer. It does good to hear it when it is needed.

That being said, I’m sending you my first chapter. I think that if I share it with you it will keep me more on track as far as taking my time to write. Some things I want you to know about the story….it is very crass at the get go. My character starts the story out in a state of despair. She swears, threatens, and is unsavory. The story goes from there to the past and then back to the present so the reader gets an idea of how she became that way but also to measure the change that takes place in her.

So, I really hope you enjoy it. I hope it makes you want to see chapter 2! Lol. And I won’t take it to heart if you don’t like it. My style in this story is a little different than others I have written.

Please feel free to read it when you have time. I’ll send it to your e-mail after I get this post up.


About the post-

America is violent. It is growing and spreading like the plague. I live in a very rural area. Minnesota is known for it’s “Minnesota Nice” attitude. But every place has its losers and from choices I’ve made in my life, and the relationship I moved in to, I seem to be acquainted with them all! Lol. As I said, the situation has dissipated, mostly because I won’t stand for it.

It’s a lot to do with drugs. Powders have taken over my ex-friends brains. It is sad and there isn’t much a person can do to help. I, myself, have to stay away because I don’t want to fall into that hole again!

About Sarah’s Key, it was a beautiful and harsh movie. The book was wonderful. The actress who played little Sarah was tremendous. And I like Kristen Scott Thomas, too. She is so good she can be in different language films and look like a natural. She’s great!

As with your story, Nevaeh (my title) has room for more stories to follow. So when it is over, I won’t have to say goodbye to her either. She will be different, though. She won’t be the same girl you’ll meet in the first story.

Chewing my nails! I really hope you like it!

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Lol. I actually think that the title name was the reason my mom probably picked up "Sarah's Key" to look at. She buys books all the time and passes them on to me. It's a really cool tradition. She has great taste! Some of the books I read, I know she wouldn't. Sometimes I share with my dad. Sometimes I share with my best friend. I just kind of judge who would enjoy it. Me...I'll read just about anything I can get my hands on. I think I mentioned before, when my mom and I have read the novel and it is adapted into a movie we go see it together and have dinner or lunch after to talk about it.

I love this tradition! Sarah's Key didn't come to a lot of theaters around me. I would have had to travel over 2 hours to see it. Luckily, about 30 minutes away, they opened a new age theater. It plays some of the big ticket movies, but emphasizes foreign films and documentaries. I hope that it stays in business. It is so wonderful to finally have access to these films.

My library has a large section of foreign movies. I try to grab one at least once a month. It is hard for me to watch sometimes because I do so much while I'm watching movies. I'm cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, playing cards online.....no time to read subtitles! I usually end up watching them in spurts. Probably not the ideal way to watch but it's what I can do!

I have a small notebook that I write all your recommendations down in. Just in case I can find them!

I'm still nervous about you reading my story...but I want you to. Does that make sense?

I sent you an e-mail to reply to your e-mail. I want to use this space to post about another subject.

I had a job interview 30 minutes away and hardly made it. My Jeep just about overheated. Luckily I made it, with plenty of time to spare and by the time I came out of the interview it was much improved. However, I didn’t want to trek uphill home until it had cooled down.

So, I bounced over to the big city library and spent some time there. I found a ton of movies to borrow. I have been shamefully watching a whole skew of movies again, lately. I watched “The Secret of Kells” which I really liked. It was a beautiful work of art. However, I can agree with others on IMDB, it is more pretty than it is good. I watch “Portiche” a French movie which was funny but not the best I have seen.

Question? Is Gerard Dipardeau in every French movie. Lol. Seems like it sometimes. I like him, though.

Anyway, I watched Doris Day and Rock Hudson in “Come Back Lover” which was cute. And a few others, but I’m way off the subject.

I almost missed it.

As I scanned the small section of graphic novels, which is still 10 times greater than my local library, for Eisner.

I found a Constantine I haven’t read yet. A new Stephan King one, that I’m skeptical about but willing to try. A Philip K. Dick adaptation, which I am excited about. (I love A Scanner Darkly as a novel) I’m sure this will be good!

I nearly gave up, my friend, and then there it was. One Eisner book waiting for me. The Plot.

Got home, safe!

Today is cold. Typical October drizzle. I sat down and lazily curled up with your recommendation. I was skeptical, at first. I don’t often appreciate historical works. Not that I have anything against them. I get caught up in dates, names, and the information just doesn’t stick.

I was not disappointed for long. I see why you like him. From what I can tell, this was different from his other works. Again, as with Huxley, I guess I am starting with the last book of the author. What a way to go though! I wonder if he sensed that this would be his last work. Very impressive statement. Amazing political, philosophical, hard to put into the right words statement.

Thanks for the recommendation! I’ll keep you posted. Now I’m gonna soak up some gore with one of my favorite characters, Constantine!

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No, no hostility. I like your comments and have been "digesting" them. I think they are good comments and have really made me start to look at some of the parts of my novel I need to think harder about.

The dialogue comes easily to me, the technicalities, not so much.

I did think at first, boring, when I started to read "The Plot." But it didn't take me too long to get over it. It is different from other graphic novels I have read, but I like to experience different artists and views so that is not a bad thing. I read a lot yesterday. I finished the novel I've been reading since I finished "Island." It is not a book I would recommend to you, but my mom probably will like it.

I read the 4th "Scalped" book, a Constantine, an Eisner and today started on Stephan King's "N." which seems a bit familiar so far. King is an author that I can take or leave. It really depends. I do think that some of his lines are gorgeous in description. Some of the plots are too predictable, though.

Got my errands done already and now working on my eBay store. Sometimes it can be a lot of work! I am hoping some of the higher end items go before XMas or I'll be giving out little presents!

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My life recently has been such a rollercoaster. I wanted to write you many times, but there was a lack of time and when I did have time, I didn’t want to think about it.

A couple weeks ago I had an interview, then was called back for another. It was a great job, seemingly. I had to drive 20 miles each way each day to get to the interviews and rearrange my life to do so. I was hired and told to go down to the cities to train the following week. It was a two hour drive. Something in my gut told me this position was too good to be true. After much research I found that it was a scam. I never drove down to the cities. I felt like an idiot and was disappointed.

About the same time I had brought my dog in to the vet for what turned out to be allergies. Easy enough to help her out there. Some eye drop type stuff and in a couple days she was gravy again.

Unfortunately the vet told me she has breast cancer. The surgery would run me $1000. A lot of my friends told me to shoot her. I was livid. If 1000 would fix her, it was worth it to me. I love her like a daughter. She is about 10 but the vet said her breed can live 20 years.

My boyfriend was all in. He wasn’t about to let her go either. We scheduled surgery. So, last week I drop her off. It was so hard to leave her there, but that is how it is done. I would get a call when she was ready to be picked up, but I requested to be kept updated when she got out of surgery.

I got a call very early. After a pre-surgery blood test they would not do the surgery. She is diabetic. The vet said it has to be in her genes because she is a very healthy weight. Treatment for diabetes is not expensive. About $25 a month for meds and syringes. She gets a shot twice a day.

I will take her in later this week to have her dose checked to make sure she is doing okay. She will develop cataracts and be blind within a year unless there is more surgery. Another $1000.

I’ve decided to request that they x-ray her for her cancer. If it has spread and is not able to be removed I will make the tougher decision.

You know how I feel, I am sure. She’s my baby girl. I love her too much. And I can’t stand people telling me to shoot her. I yell “WOULD YOU SHOOT YOUR KID? COULD YOU SHOOT YOUR KID?”

okay….now that that is out let’s get to happier stuff.

I got a temporary job with good pay and benefits. It’s a bummer that it is temporary but I plan to shine so that maybe they will keep me :) I’ll be able to get back on unemployment afterward if not. The job will help us get through the winter….and the vet bills!

I read “New York” by Will Eisner and loved it. I understand why you like him. He was quite an observationalist. Not a word, but that is my word for him. He notices the small things that are part of a larger meaning. Some of the comics were hilarious, some were sad, all were well constructed.

I’m not reading “A Contract with God.” It is ok, but I liked “New York” much better.

I turn 30 on Thursday. Boo hiss! Not excited about that at all. I lost my last dog on my birthday a few years back and I am afraid it will happen again.

I know you are not really religious, but if you can say a prayer for my little Sadie I would appreciate it. She means the world to me.

Hope you are doing well. Any progress on your writing?

Hope so!

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Thank you for listening and understanding about my dog. I just got back from the vet. They are keeping her for the day to do glucose readings. It was still really high even though she's been on insulin for a week. So she will probably need a larger dose.

It is really hard to leave her there. Not as hard as when I thought she was going to have surgery. You never know what might happen during surgery and I was afraid. This time I did not cry :) But it was still hard because they just don't understand.

I do have a good vet that my family has used for years. He is a little more expensive but he is so good with dogs and their owners, too. It is also only a mile from my home so I could run there if something did go wrong. He has taken care of all the dogs I've had in my life to the point of putting them down. I know that she will have to leave me eventually but I'm hoping to stave that for awhile.

We have an unusual bond. From the get go she was mine. She won't leave my bedroom until I get up,unless my boyfriend lets her out and then she comes right back in. When I left her for a week at my mom's to go to a wedding in NYC my mom said she just stare out the window the whole time and cried. Not whined, but actual tears!
She can read me and sometimes I think that she is not a dog at all but a person trapped in a dog's body! Lol. Make sense?

It is my 30th birthday today! I don't like it one bit. Cliche I know, but of course I didn't think my life would be the way it is at 30. I thought I'd be published, maybe living in Paris....lol. But I know everyone can say this. I am lucky because I am relatively healthy and relatively happy. Would I like to go back and change parts of my life? OF COURSE!

I'm glad you are wrapping up on your novel. It must feel good to finish one! Or do you then feel a sense of loss? I have not finished many of my many novels. The one that I did a few years back I felt lost. I had been involved in another world for so long I didn't know what to do. It ended so sadly it made me depressed! It isn't one that I would consider publishing at any time. It was actually a very personal story and I didn't share it with anyone. I wrote it in a frenzy and didn't even talk to my best friend in a week. Someday I will reread it and see if I am ready to divulge that much of my soul to the world. Right now I'm thinking NO WAY!

Snow is flying this morning. There is always snow by my birthday. My boyfriend is like a little kid at Christmas. He loves snowmobiling. He checks the weather like 6 times a day! Lol. I bet you don't get snow in SE ASIA, did you in Belgium?

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Thanks for the birthday wishes...yes it could have been happier without learning about my dog's health. I am hoping she will be okay. I've decided she's worth a million dollars but that is it! Lol.

It is so cool about your book! I hope they publish it in English. Or else you will just have to translate it for me....LOLOLOL.

I'm at work right now waiting to get started. Yes, work! I am in training and so far very confused. Hopefully it will get better. Just wish it wasn't so damn far from my home. It took me an hour to get home last night because I got stuck by a train for over 20 minutes. I used to love trains but I am beginning to hate them.

Haven't had any chance to read or watch movies or write or anything lately! I am planning on relaxing this weekend but I think I have to be a lumberjack. We heat with wood and it is really expensive unless we cut it ourselves!

Snow is flying! Work is starting! Bye!

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Remember what you told me! You will always feel that you could have done better with a novel. I am sure it is just fine. I know you take great care in your work.

It snows in Minnesota quite a bit. Winter feels about 6 months a year. We usually start getting it in November and maybe it ends in April or May. Ridicoulous! Lol.

I start working today officially...I've been in training all week. Yes, still confused. It is working with insurance which is very confusing!

Well, gotta go. Have a good weekend. Good luck in the wrapping up!

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OOOO a puppy! They are a lot of work, but worth it if you love dogs. Plus, it is nice to raise one on your own. That way you can try to make it the dog you want. My dog was six months old when I got her which was plenty of time to develop bad habits! Working with her she is the most well behaved dog I've ever had.

I always say the best dogs find you and not the other way around. I'm sure that you will regret agreeing to take the puppy sometimes, but mostly you will not.

Yes, insurance is confusing! So far I'm doing okay because I have had a lot of help from coworkers. Things are starting to click into place. My concern was I never understood my insurance how would I explain it to someone else? I will work on "cracking the code" :) Gots to get to it!

Give the pup a kiss from me! And what's his/her name?

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I'm so excited for you! It must be such a great feeling of accomplishment to have completed a novel. It sounds really exciting and I am very hopeful for you! I think you did the right thing with the technical problem you were having. I have noticed this in movies and novels before. It does not always take away from the story. I am a reader who skims through and gets bored when things get real technical. Probably because I don't get it and I don't really care. If it were me, I would have made it sound phony and it would have wrecked the story.

I have a lot of trouble with action scenes. I usually ask for help. As I mentioned before, even with weapon choices I have to find resources to help me. I could just say "gun" but doesn't "sawed off" sound more threatening?

Hopefully Nami is a quick learner! Is that pronounced like Amy or more like mommy?

It is Thanksgiving today in the states. I'm sure you don't celebrate it but I'm also sure you know it involves stuffing oneself with turkey. My mom and sister in law fight over who will cook but my sister and law always wins because she is so stingy with her kids. It's a long story. Anyhow, my sister in law is due in two weeks with her third child. So she ended up in the hospital last night. I think she is going to be okay and everything but that means no Thanksgiving feast for me today. Not a huge deal, but a little disappointing because I'm hungry...lol. At least her cooking isn't too desirable. Lol.

Glad to have a long weekend. New jobs are always so freaking exhausting. I tried to sleep in but didn't make it too far. Oh well, I'm going to stay in my pjs all day! Been writing a lot lately...of course not finishing anything I start. Had a new idea again and am running with it because it is flowing easily. Trouble is I had another idea in between so I'm going back in forth. Writing in waves!

Talk to you soon!

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How does Nami sound like salsa? Lol.

No, I never heard back on my short story. That's okay. It was good to be accepted once, even if they never ended up printing it. Rereading it, I see there are a lot of small things I would want to fix before I send it out again. I'm not to down about it. It's not my best work. My best work is in the process ;)

I've been reading lately (well always) but I'm starting to really become critical about some writers. I sometimes think, how the hell did these people get published? Maybe it is egotistical, but I know I could do better than some of these clowns.

I slept for 12 hours! I don't remember the last time I did that. It was good sleep, too. But now I'm kind of out of it.

Thanksgiving was a bit messed up but my mom through a spread together while my sister in law had a baby. Their third who is donned "Phineas". Hope that he doesn't get beat up on the playground. :)

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Cool script.

LOL. Yes quite a convo we had going. Now we communicate via email.:)

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