100 Things We Learned from The Sweeney

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Police are allowed to smoke indoors and have sex in public toilets.

Pretty 29 year old girls love 55 year old fat greying cockneys.

Nobody goes outside in caravan parks.

Police use Apple computers, presumably to complement their vast minimalist shiny white offices.

Criminals like theatrical red or blue lighting.

That an out of shape copper, who looks like he hasn't exercised for 20 years has a vice like grip of a cyberman.
Same said copper who couldn't hit an elephants arse with a banjo, suddenly develops in the end the aiming accuracy of Robin Hood.

not sure if this one has been used yet but i learned that if you're investigated a man who ends up being responsible--or at least the leader of the unit--for your wife's murder, who's also a posse of said unit, then nobody will find it a conflict of interest if you continue investigating him and give you free rein to do what you want to him.

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"well, stranger. we're feeding them strangers."

ONE Thing I Learned from The Sweeney

Ben Drew is a c**p actor, and he should go back to night school, and take elocution lessons in basic english grammar.



''All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain .... Time to die''.

Some observations:

The police will shoot it out in London against criminals who are armed with military rifles.

The police in the UK apparently can't afford body armor.

You can take .223 rounds to the upper thorax while wearing a Level 1 Bulletproof vest and not be killed outright

Criminals sophisticated enough to rob high-end places like "private banks" don't bypass alarms or create diversions to do so.

The police in the UK apparently have wide ranging jurisdictions as London police arrested criminals in a rural area many miles from the City.

You can steal gold bars successfully from a crime scene where NONE of the crooks who were involved in the robbery got away.

The police in the UK can apparently barge their rude a*ses into homes early in the morning without warrants and search people's rooms.

Filmmakers in England love to make movies with low budget imitation Michael Mann-style shootouts.


Bad films are a crime against humanity.

29 years old girls are attracted to 55 year olds wearing a 70's style tracksuit.

Villains wearing blue boiler suits enjoy driving diggers through walls made of polystyrene.

A character called Lewis had a Dennis Waterman haircut to make him look like a right George.

Watching the film was a humbling experience. If I told anyone I'd watched it - I was humbled.

You're about to bust a massive gold raid being carried out by heavily armed, highly dangerous criminals. Don't focus your mind and your team on the job in hand though, nope you are too much of a double-'ard cockney. Instead, distract your team by making a big issue of your colleague getting hitched to a 6.5/10. Give him lots of grief because you see him as an easy target just 'cause he's not a pr*ck like you and expound your nonsensical cockney theories on why it's a bad idea as if it's the law of the universe. Then drive into the raid getting your colleagues shot up 'cause it "gets resowts you slaaag".

You're the leader of the above Sweeney team in the same raid. Don't appear to drive in with them though. Wait until all the shooting and chasing has gone down, including your team getting shot and injured, then when a foot chase that you could in no way keep up with 'cause you're so unfit, has culminated in the criminal pulling a knife on your colleague, stick your arms through the perfect place in a plaster wall that you can't see through, grab him and spout some cliche coppa line 'cause you are also doubl-'ard.

If you find yourself in a prison room full of hardened criminals who are baying for your blood because you put them there and they are beating the life out of you with full force for a good while before it's stopped, don't worry. Next scene, apart from a mild, already healing cut to your head, you will be fine and walking around like you've had a good night's sleep and a nice cup of rosie.

If you've squeezed a criminal for information so hard that he is divulging anything you need - "Gravesend, Pegasus, wasn't so difficult now was it?" - don't think to ask him anymore questions even though, rather glaringly, you have no idea what Pegasus is. You will probably find this out later by chance from your superior.