This movie sucks, here’s why...

1. Almost every character is ruined from the original film. Mari is now a Goody Two Shoes, Krug isn’t intimidating and spends most the movie being way too polite, John is overly serious, Jr is no longer a junkie and is made out to be too sympathetic.

2. This movie runs 30 minutes longer than the original and it’s almost all pointless crap that we don’t need. John at the hospital treating patients, Mari at swimming practice, a focus on the storm and rain.

3. Everything about this remake just reeks of blandness. Gone is the memorable soundtrack of the 1972 film and is replaced with generic and forgettable music. Gone is the rustic and earthy feel of the original and replaced with a sanitized and generic look.

4. Every character looks like a super model this time around. Why do the bad guys have perfect white teeth and clean clothes? The parents in the original film looked like average and ordinary people.....Monica Potter and Tony Goldwyn look like magazine models for Christ’s sakes. Krug has a Hollywood haircut and doesn’t even act like a criminal.

5. This movie is more tame than the 1972 film. Mari’s friend isn’t forced to
Piss herself, her clothes never come off, and her arm isn’t cut off. She just gets stabbed like 2 times and dies real fast without hardly suffering lol. The mom doesn’t bite any dicks off this time around, and Mari and Jr end up living at the end.....excuse me? Why water down a movie like this?

6. No Chainsaw? No ‘Home Alone’ traps? Why even remake the classic 1972 film if you’re just gonna go extra generic at the end?

7. The seedy apartment is now a generic hotel room, the unique 70’s house is now a summer home straight out of cottage GQ magazine. This didn’t enhance the movie at all, it made it worse.

8. Who the hell is Dennis Iliadis? The guy literally has nothing else on his resume lol. Wes Craven is a 100 times better director than this hack.

What else am I forgetting?