Good morning, Your Honor. May I approach the bench?

My 2nd favorite (which, amazingly enough, comes only seconds after my 1st favorite):

I don't give a damn what anyone thinks.
I stay up all night & I smoke & I drink.

What do YOUR parents think of my protest songs, Mr. TIME MAGAZINE!!

Oh man there's so many hilarious lines in this movie I'll just throw out a few that absolutely creased me:

"Goddamnit, this is a dark *beep* period! "
"And you never once paid for drugs. Not once!"
"He needs more blankets and he needs less blankets."
"You know who's got hands? The devil. And he uses them for holding."
"You ever tried to jerk off with a ghost hand? Nothing!"

but the one that floored me the most was his father with:
"You're not half the boy Nate was. You're not even half the boy that the top half of Nate was after you cut him in half."

classic film, classic.

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The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime

"The wrong kid died" especially when his dad is singing it as he works in the barn , and "You never once paid for drugs! Not once."

Well that was early Dewey this is middle Dewey

My favorite was L'Chaim being unable to get the meaning of the word 'Rehab' across to Dewey in Yiddish says "Rehab' with a deep southern accent. Nearly fell out of my chair laughing (NFOOMCL).

As an apologist turned authority I don't defend my comments because I am always right.

"Beatles, please! Stop fighting here in India!"
"It's okay! I learned to play by ear!"
"You think we don't know what you mean by Take My Hand?
It's a song about holding hands!
You watch your mouth."

I so agree. I love John C. Reilly's timing.