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REVIEW FROM COLONELSCRYPT.COM


Before I go on with this review, I must admit that it was difficult to write it, being my current association with the filmmaker and cast and crew of this film. However, after viewing the film last week at the Pioneer Theater and again on DVD, I came to the opinion that even without these associations, I would love this film.

From the opening shot of star Alan Rowe Kelly, a 45 year old man, dressed like Lil Bo Peep, thinking she’s an eleven year old turning 12 very soon, wheeling a piece of roadkill nailed to board, you’re in for one unique experience. THE BLOOD SHED is one of the most twisted films to come out, but also one of the best acted and written. Alan stars as Beefteena Bullion, an oversized man child living with brothers Butternut (Joshua Nelson), Hubcap (Mike Lane), cousin Sno Flakes (Susan Adriensen), all under the watchful eye of Papa Elvis (Terry M. West). Oh yeah, Grandma’s up in the attic too. They comprise the local whacked out inbreds, the jokes of the neighbors and the outcasts of the town. The film is not so much a structured story but a variety of juxtaposed layers that profile the Bullion family in their exploits, some are so outrageous that the laughs very expertly hide the true terror that is really going on.

I like to think of THE BLOOD SHED as a “What if John Waters did TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE and cast Divine as LEATHERFACE,” however that wouldn’t be fair to the excellent script by Kelly, who makes it all a unique fun ride. The bad guys are the protagonists and the depth that each Bullion family member is given is something rarely seen in horror films today. The first twenty minutes of the film establishes this by an inventive game of “Tug O’ War” and an over the top dinner scene nicely balanced by the actors, who take the material seriously. The next part deals mainly with the Bullions encountered by a police officer (Jerry Murdock) that Beefeena has a liking to, culminating in a sequence that every man will wince at. The final part of the film has Beefteena going to a model agency run by the bitchy Miss Faith (Zoe Daelman Chlanda), who greedily takes Beefteena’s money to tease her, which makes the rest of the family angry and Miss Faith and her staff the guests at Beefteena’s birthday party. The dialogue is very sharp, especially by Papa Elvis, who springs out some very inventive one liners to give out advice. For example, Papa’s rule on who to eat goes as follows: “Strangers are tops cause neighbors bring cops."

The performances are what make the film, and Alan Rowe Kelly gives one brave performance as Beefteena, both in the wardrobe choices which border on the absurd to the maniacal way Beefteena gets what she wants. Terry M. West is great as the family head, Papa Elvis, providing love for his family in very, uh, special ways. Joshua Nelson and Mike Lane as brothers Butternut and Hubcap played off each other very well in their different styles. Nelson is the more abrasive of the two, showing his anger towards the victims if need be, while Lane has a low key, subdued performance that balances out the rest of the family perfectly. Susan Adriensen is fun to watch as Sno Cakes, providing great chemistry with Kelly in their scenes together, particularly the lemonade stand scene. Out of the victims, Zoe Daelman Chlanda stands out as Miss Faith, a dolled up, made of plastic, nasty bitch who gets her comeuppance in a climatic dinner scene where her pure terror is portrayed flawlessly. Within the comedy of the scene where the Bullion family banter, there is the horror in Chlanda’s face as the family torment her. It’s not as bloody as seen in other films, but it’s very effective.

The art direction by Kelly and Sandra Schaller are top notch, highlighted by the off the wall, colorful Bullion exteriors and interiors, mainly the dinner scene, with real pieces of roadkill used as decorations along with Christmas lights and odd ornaments. Considering the budget and the cinematography by Bart Mastronardi, it is a remarkable achievement. The special effects by Ken Shupe was decent, however, and the film’s running time of 73 minutes makes the film extremely short, but since THE BLOOD SHED started out as a short film, this is fine but it did leave me wanting more.

In all, THE BLOOD SHED is the perfect film to show someone who tells you “I’ve seen everything there is to see.” With this and I’LL BURY YOU TOMORROW, Alan Rowe Kelly is emerging as one of the most original independent filmmakers of recent times, and certainly one of the most talented. For those just looking for a blood and guts show, you may be disappointed. However, if you’re looking for a solid comedy/horror, then THE BLOOD SHED is for you.

THE BLOOD SHED: 8 Out Of 10 Maggots

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