Competition #1!!!


I've been thinking to myself lately - this board has too much debating and not enough creative syle. So to keep in the lines with the subject matter, here's what you have to do:

1. See the character and subject line at the bottom of the page
2. Come up with a five or more line scenario (that is funny) to do with the subject and the character.
3. Post it on the board and a wait for your results (from me). The winner will be posted two days aftr the due date (see below).

Rules:

1. You may add only two characters for the subject chracter to interact with. Note that you may make situations bizarre by including other TELEVSION references, for example putting them on a Brandpower ad or on THe Weakest Link.

2. You may not change the character from the sketch series into something entirely different. They must retain they're personality from The Wedge but you can choose your type of humour for them to make them funny. For example, hippy school teacher, Art Cooney has to be politically incorrect.

3. You may also add actions on scenrios but you have to put them in between two *'s.

4. It has to have a script form.

For example:

Character: Pokie girls Subject: Door

LeAnne: How long do I have to push till this door opens?
Sherine: It will. It will.
LeAnne: Can you help me push.
*The two women push for the lives*
Sherine: O! Stop pushing LeAnne someone's come to open it
Shane Bourne: And welcome back to Thank God You're Here ladies and Gentlemen.


Here's your scenraio subject, character and due date for this competition:

Subject: At Kmart deciding what to choose. Character: The Irreverent Priest, Father Inappropriate Due Date: 9th September

reply

Ok, I know the title isn't very exciting but hey, there's got to be some replies. Right? guys?

reply

[deleted]

Yeah. I just thought it'd be something fun to do to lighten up this place.

reply

[deleted]

Why don't you try it out?

reply

[deleted]

[deleted]

As soon as we post our ideas you'll report our posts and then use our sketches on the show... no evidence that someone else wrote them.

reply

Why would I do that. I'm only 13.

reply

Everyone knows you work for The Wedge. There can't be a fan of this show as big as you.

reply

[deleted]

"Yeah, only 13 year olds and under would like it.

Granted, I can't say much for myself. I'm only 15.

But I don't care for this show. I prefer Summer Heights High. "

Do you spend your time at high school picking on Year 7's? Just a question.

P.S. I like SHH as well.

reply

[deleted]

"Everyone knows you work for The Wedge. There can't be a fan of this show as big as you."

Wow, If you and Mr. Pirate Wolf over there are everyone, then this world would have ended LOOOOONG ago.

reply

[deleted]

"Mr. Pirate Wolf?

I like that name"

A great piece of comedy eh?

reply

[deleted]

EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND - DAY
A bunch of kids play tig and other assorted games.

(Dslah enters wearing a cravatte and beret.)

DSLAH: hey dudes. I got this really great idea. I'm guna direct a sketch comedy show. its guna b so much beta than the wedge Peww! And NO!!! its not guna b like that other stuff i did that I let people see. I wont make THAT mistake again. This is guna b good. and who knows? Maybe we'll even score some hot chix or sumthin!!!

CHEESIN A BISKIT: Sign me up dude. Anything thats beta than the wedge has gota b coooool!

SHAGGY: Peace brothers. The Wedge has merit. Especially Jason Gann. He is the grouse.

CABBAGE: Did someone say Jason Gann? Where?

(Cabbage puts up his dooks like an old fashioned boxer)

DSLAH: Cool your boots Cabbage. This is guna b beta than anything he did.

CHEESE: THAT wudnt be hard!

(After a moment they get the joke and they all laugh for a very long time)

MALCOM IN THE MID: Are there any chix guna b there?

DSLAH: Hell yeah! Them ones that said they would show up if Jason was here.

(Jason enters)

JASON: Come on little dudes. Everyone just take a deep breath and sip on a Streets Callipo. Cool your engines.

(they take turns sipping on the lemon Callipo. All exept Dslah.)

CHEEESE: Aw man. This is so cool.

JASON: Relax. You will all be successful film makers one day, you can tell by the way you criticise things... then u can have all the Callipos you want.

DLSAH: J-j-j-j-j-jason gann! What are you doin here?

JASON: Well Dslah, I heard you were makin a cutting edge sketch comedy show and I thought "at last" someone who is funny. I know what you write on the message boards isn't funny but that doesnt matter... if you can slag comedy then you are comedy in my book.

DLAH: Holy shhhhhhh... you ARE as cool as they say. Lights, camera, ac- ac- ac- action!

JASON: I was only jokin Dlsah. I'm too everything to be in your show.

ALL: Ha ha ha. We always knew you would come thru with the gold in the end. Three cheers for Jason and the Wedge!

(They end up cheering 6 or 7 times)

JASON: Here kids. Try a WARY-POP!

(Jason hands the kids a 'Mark Wary' ice block. They devour feverishly. All exept Dlah)

DSLAH: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

FADE TO BLACK

LIGHTS UP

(Shaggy sits in a spa with 6 hot babes)

GIRL 1: Do you REALLY know Jason Gann?

SHAGGY: I have one word to say to that... LUCKY!!!!!

(THE WEDGE soundtrack kicks in. All the blog dudes dance by the spa. Some of the cast members enter in costume to sign autographs.. but only the new ones.)

FADE TO BLACK

reply

[deleted]

Hey, Jason.

So, you finally couldn't restrain yourself. Must have been so hard for you all these months, obsessively logging on to see what horrible things these heartless philistines might have been saying about you and your misunderstood work. Wanting desperately to lash out at the cruel bastards, but knowing (because anyone who knows that you do this and has even an ounce more concern for you than you seem to have for yourself would have told you so) that to do so only plays right into their game and makes you look like even more of an idiot.

Congratulations on the script. Did you submit this for The Wedge? I'm surprised they didn't snap it up. But then, it's actually quite funny, so probably would have been rejected on that basis alone. It's important for a TV show to maintain consistency, after all.

Personally, I think it just might be your best work, and that you should feel very proud. That'll teach those 15 year old kids to lock horns with Jason Gann. Such wit, such scathing scorn you poured upon Dslah's paltry creative endeavours. It'll be a long time before he's ever again presumptuous enough to actually post his work on the net. That kind of initiative really needs to be stamped out of the youth of this country, doesn't it, Jason. Hey, but let's not forget that he did have the nerve to actually go onto a public forum about a professionally produced, nationally broadcast TV show and say that he (gasp, horror)DIDN'T LIKE IT!!! So the guy clearly deserves to be ridiculed and slammed. Didn't he realise you were involved in the show? Didn't it occur to him your sensitive feelings might get hurt? What a bastard!

I was rather disappointed that I didn't appear as a character. Can you rectify that in the next episode? Can you make me really skinny with bad skin, and please be sure to make it absolutely clear that I've never been laid. Oh, and I reckon I should be saying really nasty things about you behind your back, but then you show up and I'm completely star-struck and just want to be like you.

Now I'm going to drop the sarcasm and get serious for a minute. I'm going to choose to believe that you are not an intrinsically nasty person. You are just a person who feels very hurt. That is understandable, but seriously, you need to let this go, Jason. For your own sake. It's just fun for these guys to watch you do this to yourself. They want you to keep doing it. The only person you are hurting is yourself. What you are doing is just not healthy. You are angry and bitter about something that is just not worth being angry about. The Wedge is behind you. It is over. It will live out the remainder of its existence quietly racking up those local content quota points in timeslots that make it pretty easy for everyone, including Ten, to ignore. Even the most passionate haters have lost interest (see how little activity there is on this board these days) In a year or two nobody will remember that you had anything to do with it. You have the rest of your life to do better work. The reputation of having been in a stinker of a show is something you can rise above. Arguably, Cal, Kate and Rebel are already doing that.

However, what is going to be harder to rise above is the other reputation you are getting for yourself. You might think that the people who post on this board are just a handful of dudes and who cares what they think of you. And you'd be right. But for every person who posts messages there are countless others who only read, and every one of those people has a life outside of the net where they talk to their friends. And I have to tell you that you make a pretty amusing party anecdote, Jason. And the people who are most likely to be checking out IMDB boards are people in your industry. I know people in your industry, Jason, and this stuff has been noted. If I was a casting director or a commissioning producer thinking of working with you, I'd be hopping onto the Jason Gann, Wilfred and Wedge boards to see what the vibe is. The vibe isn't good, Jason, and it is primarily your own actions that have made it so.

So just let who ever wants to hate the wedge go right ahead and hate it. The best revenge is to be happy, and you are clearly not happy. If you want to believe we're pathetic losers, then do so. That should make it easier to ignore us. What the hell do we know? Maybe you're a genius and we're just not sophisticated enough to see it. Maybe you're ahead of your time and one day we'll realise how wrong we were. But for your own sake, stop torturing yourself, and get a life.

reply

Sorry but I'd never get into your evil brainwashing ways.

reply