Is it possible to love this intensely? - Bright Star (2009) Discussion

[–] thebankteller01 14 years ago

I'm not sure where you got that 'love' from. For over half the film's duration, they didn't really much like each other. She only really started to like him when he started getting sick... and even then the romance was really dudish and the obstacles put between them made little sense.

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[–] aGuiltySoul 14 years ago

Love is expressed in many, many different ways. Almost as many ways as there are people who feel love. And the expression of love is also affected by one's culture and time. At one time to hold someone's hand was a great expression of love, just short of a kiss or an embrace. And also at one time to talk quietly alone was regarded as an intimacy. It would be quite clear in those times what holding each other's glance, even across a room, represented, much less a long walk together.

I think you suffer from a lack of perception and imagination. If you want to tell me that you didn't like this film, I could accept that. I can't appreciate it, but I can accept it. But to argue that we didn't witness two people very much is love is incomprehensible to me.

"I'd never ask you to trust me. It's the cry of a guilty soul."

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[–] poppy-angus 12 years ago

i think because it was back then, yes. But the story between Franny and John was definitely real and intense. If you've read the letters he sent to Franny, you'll understand how beautiful it was, i actually makes you believe in love.

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[–] id_11 13 years ago

For over half the film's duration, they didn't really much like each other. She only really started to like him when he started getting sick

how high were you when you watched this movie? it's mind-boggling how you came up with this appraisal

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[–] cine-maum 10 years ago

You said: "how high were you when you watched this movie? it's mind-boggling how you came up with this appraisal"
I completely agree with you. They had their sights on each other from the start.

Its sad, people dont realize anymore how to enjoy & nurture that first beginning stage of attraction. To discover, and grow with each other. To find something deep & meaningful with each other, that will endure a lifetime. An unbreakable trusting bond.
Rather than procreating on the first date

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[–] AwaixJvd 10 years ago

For people like "thebankteller01" love is only the missionary or doggy position and nothing else. Deprived of the senses, lacking the churns of life and abolishing the smells of manna dew. Such people are abundant around us. These today's smart phone users and iPadders.

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[–] kirses_2 14 years ago

I am convinced it is possible to love that much, and that intensely, but I think we are afraid to, because, as you said, the loss would be too great.
I actually think that is the only reason not more people love this way, fear.
It is a shame, really.
It's so beautiful.

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[–] holly-hibbs 14 years ago

Yes, it is beautiful. And I had this love, and I lost it, and I can say from personal experience that the loss is unbearable. Especially since it was completely unnecessary. My boyfriend, who is the love of my life, broke up with me 3 months ago. Suddenly and with no reason that makes ANY sense. He loved me very much; I know that. We were together for nearly 2 years, and we wanted to get married and have kids. We had both waited our whole lives to find each other (I'm almost 37, he's almost 32 now...neither of us had ever been married or had kids). All I've ever wanted is to love and be loved and have a family of my own, and it hasn't happened. But with him, it was amazing. We were just right for each other. He was my best friend, and I was his, and we would have done anything to make each other happy. So at the time, it was worth it, and even now I can't bring myself to completely wish I hadn't met him. I just still feel like we belong together, and this makes no sense, and stranger things have happened than people changing their minds. Coming to their senses. I cannot fathom why he has done what he has done or why he's treated me so cruelly. It was sudden, he wouldn't discuss it, he accused me of things I didn't do, and then wouldn't respond when I countered them. Anyway, it hurts like nothing I've ever felt.

I've had tons of rejections in my life from guys, and I've lost people very close to me to death, including my dad when I was 16 and my grandmother 5 years ago, suddenly, and it killed me, but NOTHING compares to the pain I've felt in the last 3 months. And no one seems to understand. People say things that just make me hurt more. Like how I need to accept it. How I need to move on and that there's probably someone else out there for me. Someone better. They don't get it. HE is the love of my life. I can't love anyone else like that. I don't want to. It wouldn't make sense to be with anyone else.

This is where I identify with Fanny in the movie. The things she says are exactly how I feel right now.

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[–] tigerbos 14 years ago

How awful. It is common I believe that sometimes when people get closer to commitments and closer to love, they become fearful because of the dependence they feel towards someone else and so it becomes easier, for them anyway, to just walk away from love then to fall headlong into it. It sounds like he made up excuses in his mind to walk away thus the reason he didn't want to hear what you had to say. Apparently he didn't realize what he had! The loss of a love like this is in fact like grieving. You will go through different stages before you get to the acceptance and moving on stage. Believe me, it will happen but until then, the only thing you can do is live day by day and learn from your experiences. There's no reason to get involved with anyone else until you've healed! Your friends probably mean well but they're not in your shoes and who knows, maybe they don't understand because they've not been there?
Good luck and hang in there!

I think she's the saddest girl ever to hold a martini.

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[–] holly-hibbs 14 years ago

Thank you. Honestly, I have theories, but I don't know what happened. He DID know what he had, so that's what I can't understand. He's accused me of things and talked about me like I'm someone I'm not, and he was supposed to have known me better than anyone.

And yeah, maybe it will get easier. I mean in some ways it already has. But at this moment in time, I still can't imagine him not being the one, and I still have that tiny bit of hope that he'll come around and realize what he gave up. Because no one ever wanted him before, and no one ever wanted me, and we were SO good together. And we loved and accepted each other with all our faults. And as shy as he is, I can't imagine him meeting anyone else. Anyway, I am taking things one day at a time. But when I watched this movie last night, though the situation was different, I identified SO perfectly with Fanny's feelings, I just had to write about that.

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[–] lawlaw86 13 years ago

How sad to watch a movie like this when you are going through such an intense loss of love.
I have been there myself and would just like to offer you my best wishes. I KNOW it doesn't feel like it will get better,.. but it will, I promise. It is a cliche, but so true- time does heal all wounds (or at least makes the pain more barable).

This movie was an absolute joy to watch. I felt the love was believable and beautiful.

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[–] ncmmorris 14 years ago

I feel like your theory is quite similar to the part of the movie one the eve of Keats going to Italy. She begs him to stay but he is quite insistant he has to go. I think he probably knew he was going to die before he saw her again and thought it would be easier to die away from her because it would be easier to let go of this life without the dependency towards her. Does that make sense?

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[–] gossipgirlrockstar 13 years ago

I'm sure one can love this intensely. I think in modern times it would be considered unhealthy. Sort of a dependence on someone. If you're willing to kill yourself because you can't have someone or because you lose them that's considered dangerous. It sort of a "love the way you lie" relationship without the abuse. But it can be seen as obsessive.

Plus the idea of someone else controlling whether or not you're happy is potentially destructive and very miserable I think.

TV taught me how to feel. Now real life has no appeal.

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[–] aGuiltySoul 13 years ago

Still, people even in this modern age go into a decline when someone they love dies or separates from them. Some people never marry again, even today.

When Fanny cuts herself because she doesn't hear from Keats, she is very young and very immature. It allows a contrast between that young infatuated girl and the mature, determined woman in love she becomes.

But as for grief. It is still felt just as intently today as it was then. And some people grieve for a considerable time.

"I'd never ask you to trust me. It's the cry of a guilty soul."

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[–] gossipgirlrockstar 13 years ago

I absolutely agree. I think many people love this intently. Whether it turns stalker/suicidal/abusive or whether you never marry again or date again or go into a deep depression for months when you lose this person. But too feel this way while you're in a relationship is intense. Hopefully if you feel this way about someone hopefully they feel this way about you then it would be lovely.
Especially if it lasts. But if one feels that way and the other doesn't well that could be bad.

TV taught me how to feel. Now real life has no appeal.

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[–] book_1958 13 years ago

So hey, here I am again. Just wanna say I am doing better, although the other day I had a really bad day & cried & cried & felt again like I just would never get over him. But before that, there were a few days where I could actually see the possibility of being ok without him. I guess it's just one day at a time, and we'll see how it goes, and I do the best I can. I still want answers,though, and maybe at some point it won't matter so much to me anymore whether I get them or not, but again, it's just wait & see.

And from the last few posts here, I thought of a quote I heard on "Criminal Minds" that is good for what you guys are talking about:

"I have loved to the point of madness; That which is called madness, That which to me, is the only sensible way to love."--Francoise Sagan

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[–] Lofotr 13 years ago

Get over him? Get over yourself! That quote is awful. You'll be okay, just stop looking for another person to adore you in order for you to adore yourself. Get your self confidence in order, THEN maybe consider seeking a relationship. The "love" (more like neediness) seen in this film is NOT something to aspire to. The good kind of love doesn't include that kind of fear and loneliness.

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[–] book_1958 13 years ago

What a jerk! You know NOTHING about me or about him or about our relationship or the circumstances of the breakup or anything. DO NOT presume to know things about me when you don't know me at all.

And that quote was not about me....I said in the post that it fit with what people had been talking about in the thread, before my comment.

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[–] 13 years ago

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[–] au-grad 13 years ago

I did, when I was very young. It was both wonderful and miserable at the same time. I think the fear of losing someone, or of never having them adds to the intensity. It's that intense sense of longing that makes certain romance stories so intoxicating.

"I almost envied them"

I know what you mean. I sometimes miss that intensity, but I'll take boring old married love any day.

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[–] vedrana_a 13 years ago

I think it is, but I didn't like the audience around them all the time. It breaks the moments.
But I like the fact that other people didn't interfere with their love, they actually wanted to help them. They kept leaving rooms to let them be alone etc.
Why people today are not so sensitive? Today people mock you and want to ruin your love. People were more polite back then.
And how her mother was there for her in the moments of her suffering. That was so nice.

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[–] MichaelJacksonsPYT 12 years ago

I was in love with my ex this intensley but he didnt feel the same way...

My Love http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y230/Devenir83/loves.jpg

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[–] Benedict_Cumberbatch 11 years ago

Yes.

"The fundamental things apply, as time goes by."

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[–] Pulpfix08 11 years ago

Yes it's possible to love intensely, although it's not common !it's rare that couples stay together these days..

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