MovieChat Forums > La terza madre (2007) Discussion > List the things you learned from watchin...

List the things you learned from watching Mother of Tears.

posted 11 years ago by smoovasbutter
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Things I've learned from watching Mother of Tears....

1. When someone yells at you over the telephone, instead of hanging up like any sensible human being, you should rip the receiver clean off by the cord. That'll shut 'em up!

2. If someone even remotely stares at you in a bookstore, the first thing you should do is shout "WHATTT!!!!!" at the top of your lungs.

3. When you see the ghost of your long dead mother, telling the person who taught you how to contact your long dead mother to "leave me alone" is a sign of appreciation.

4. After escaping with your life from a perilous situation, start laughing like a maniac.

5. Beware of crazy looking japanese women at the train station.

6. How to kill a witch who is spreading death and destruction in Rome? Easy, just rip off her only piece of clothing.

7. Judging from their wardrobe, all witches work as crack whores during their day jobs.

[–] ddeboer 11 years ago

8. Rome is filled with daily murders and crime but the most dangerous person according to the news is a young woman who happened to witness a murder.

9. It makes sense to blame your mom for abandoning you even though you know she was murdered and it makes even more sense to have that conversation with her as she is telling you to run for your life and you are actually running.

10. Throw your cell phone out the car window so the bad guys don't track you down since they know who you are but then decide it would be safe to actually go home.

11. When your friend's child is missing you should only be 1/3 as upset as he is and urge him to be sensible even though his son's bedroom is covered in blood and demonic script.

12. Go to the library to research that supernatural females usually come in 3's because you wouldn't already know that otherwise. Just make sure you skip the 9 muses while you are looking at these various myths.

13. When you arrive to receive key advice from an alchemist he'd rather watch you read a rather lengthy book rather than telling you what you need to know. At least ask him for an executive summary or have him point you to the most important page.

14. When you consult a key priest, his assistant, an alchemist, and the spirit of your dead mother you can place bets that the best information you are going to get is: one of the three mothers is getting stronger so you better find out where she lives or run like hell for your life.

15. Witches look and act like a pack of obnoxious 80s models and/or drag queens and the best way to kill the leader is to burn her half shirt in a fire.

16. If you kill the head witch you will have to pay the price of being rained upon by heavy sewage but not to worry for you will come out on the other side to a peaceful meadow with the sounds of chirping birds and you will find the experience so funny in retrospect you will not stop laughing.

17. Monkeys are not cute.

18. You should touch ancient artifacts without permission and do it right away and with your own bare hands. If you can't wait for the curator and the anthropologist to handle the materials you will only get what you deserve.

19. If you are an old bum living in the basement of a witches coven you should report the girl who is invading the coven rather than offering her an interview. If you do this you will get yelled at.

20. It is hard to know if Mater Tenebrarum is actually the most cruel when others report that it's actually Mater Lacrimorum who is the most cruel. It is also debatable as to whether Mater Tenebrarum is the mother of shadows or if she is the mother of pain (according to father Johannes). Perhaps it doesn't matter who is in charge of what.

21. The three mothers are also sisters despite the fact that it would actually make the other two mothers your aunts.

[–] Darknessviking 10 years ago

99.wait 20+ years before finishing the trilogy just so that you can put your insanely beautiful daughter in the main role.