1 star out of 5 (could've been 0). Here's why:

A guy named NATE wants to go out with CRISTABEL, his childhood crush. She has a rule when it comes to dating: She won't do it unless her ugly best friend JUNE gets a boyfriend. Don't complain, NATE. At least she's not forcing you to get along with her parents, which is a lot more common and harder. I hope the poison I gave those fat *beep* takes effect as I write this.

If you're old enough to read, you're old enough to know how this movie will end, but I'm still obliged to pretend that it's a spoiler (critics' rules). If there's something worse than a movie where you can predict the outcome, it's a movie where you can predict the mistakes it'll make. It was obvious from the start that this would be a comedy built on shallow themes and shallow gags that would fail to teach the audience an anti-shallow message.