100 things we learned after watching The Hills Have Eyes II

1. Underarchiever National Guard units get assignments in top secret sites.
2. If you spend hours in a latrine pit covered with waste, it's the infection that will kill you.
3. If something doesn't seem right in a camp, leave an undisciplined guy and a woman busy with the radio behind.
4. Assault rifles will do you no good in the mountains, rocks are much more effective.
5. If you have only one magazine, waste bullets with automatic fire.
6. Use your bayonet only if you are out of ammo.
7. If you know that you are stalked by killers, encumber yourself with the lifeless body of your superior.
8. Old explosives have triggers attached to them, it's how they lasted so long.
9. There is always one mutant cannibal who will help you escape for no reason.
10. Brutish mutants can sneak behind your back undetected.
11. Blind mutants shoot better than National Guard soldiers.
12. Mutants are immune to brain damage, but will die instantly if stabbed in the throat.
13. People have no trouble walking after being bounced against rocks.
14. Cannibalistic beasts are perfectly able to operate laptops.
15. Mutants will only steal your rifle, they won't use it against you unless they are visually impaired.
16. You shouldn't let your fellow soldiers know that you are with your pants down on hostile territory, they might rape you.
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