that was the most beautiful movie I've ever seen

I saw this movie last night at a showing in Austin, TX, and found it to be amazing and beautiful. It was written by Steven Stewart who was born with severe cerebral palsy and gives voice to his life in illustrating his inner thoughts which he is not able to verbally articulate in a way that most can understand.

I thought that, as he has a severe speech impairment, it was especially beautiful that in his fantasy everyone could understand exactly what he said with total clarity (while the audience was left to struggle). And though I know it would not have been possible to do it the other way around, I also liked that in his fantasy people could understand him they way that he spoke rather than that he could speak more clearly.

I also enjoyed the challenge to the audience to watch a movie where it is very difficult to understand the words of the main character. On the whole, I believe that most people can make out some of what he says and for the rest that they can infer it from the context of the situation and the responses of the people he is talking to. I am glad that there were no subtitles. I'm glad that the audience had to concentrate and that nothing was spoon fed.

I also admired the nudity and sex. The nudity, to me, it would seem that being so physically disabled is already a vulnerable position, and that nudity would only add to a possible feeling of vulnerability. Additionally, he shows himself as he is when the inclination in general to hide deformity.

And as for the sex, especially at the end, it felt like it was a statement that he was sexually capable and desirerous where as in life he is thought of as asexual, incapable of sex, and not sexually desirable. He showed himself to be a sexual being, sexually capable, and additionally, well hung.

So, in his fantasy people can understand him, all the ladies want him, he is able to express his anger at being rejected for being a "cripple", and he gets laid left and right, which is framed in both a depicted and implied contrast to his own life.

I realize that this movie is not available in any form beyond a showing by Crispin Glover so that he can recoup the significant amount of personal money that he put into it. However, I strongly, strongly hope that after that point that this becomes available in a format that others with cerebral palsy and (people with different causes for the same symptoms) are able to see it.

There were two physically impaired gentlemen in wheelchairs at my screening who presumably came for its theme and writer. I would think that there are many more who would enjoy and emotionally benefit from seeing it who do not have the means to make it to a movie theater or afford the price of admission who could rent or purchase a dvd if it were eventually made available.

I understand the concerns with pirating before the money is earned to cover the expenses of the film, but I hope that at some point it can ultimately become available for everyone to see.

My thanks to everyone involved and my deepest admiration to Steven Stewart.