My take

War sucks. Bottom line. As a former soldier, I was conflicted while I watched this movie. We've seen a lot of films depicting soldiers actually being killed in combat, and how it affects the men serving with them - But this is the first movie I've seen that delivered a really nasty reality that most of us don't understand and don't see. A man you don't know, in full dress uniform, knocks on your door. The families must sort of know what this means, but the denial and "maybe it's just..." starts then. When the words are delivered to them in such a stoic manner (which I think is necessary), it shatters them. There aren't anymore what ifs, maybe it's just, or looking forward to their loved one coming home. That's immediately gone. How paralyzing that must be. How painful to just be cooking dinner one evening, and minutes later finding out your son is dead. When watching the scenes of CAS notification, I didn't cry. I couldn't, honestly. I was just paralyzed and trying to process what I am watching. The whole time thinking that all of this is still going on with real families, and I've been pretty much living my now civilian life without thinking about these people. Gut check for me. I feel guilty for not doing really anything to help families who've lost sons, daughters, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and friends. The scenes are painful to watch, and they should be, the scenes make you want to put your fingers in your ears and look away while you see a mother screaming in agony because she has just learned she lost her son. The actor's and directors did an incredible job of making it this way. The fact that they did these scenes without dramatic music, and any flair is what makes this movie special. In real life, you don't hear sad or compelling music in the background. It's just silence, followed by screaming, crying, and complete emotional agony. At the same time, I wonder what the families of insurgents in Iraq, or Taliban fighters in Afghanistan feel when they find out. While I find it hard to empathize with men willing to blow themselves up and kill massive amounts of people without discretion, I think I do need to take a while to reflect and figure out what happens on the other side as families find out their loved one is now gone.

Finding humanity in war is an almost impossible task, and it *beep* sucks.