'If God didn't exist, would you invent him?' -Gary Houseman - Balls Out: Gary the Tennis Coach (2009) Discussion

[–] azimbkhan 15 years ago

You don't explain whyyou gave it a three... rather you explain why you give it a 3 opposed to a 2. so how about it: why a three? just because "it never found its groove"?

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[–] professor-3 15 years ago

I gave it a three as well, it's just not a very good movie. I Found it lacking and mediocre at best. Bit sad. I wanted to like it but... yeah.

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[–] cinefile1968 15 years ago

i must say that i agree with you to an extent. this film could definitely have been enhanced in the hands of a director of more finese. Writing and editing was flawless but as you said not all the jokes came throught to those not on the same level with the intellect of the film (which may be extremely low in the opinion of some posters) but on the whole i must say i definitely had a heap of fun watching this film.

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[–] NexusP 15 years ago

Parts of this film were very funny. The girl saying she has aids was ridiculous and completely random but still quite funny because i guess it was really unexpected. I also liked to new (even of stereotypical) nerdy couch before is character was horribly misused for flat laughs near the end.

I just don't get why people need to use potty jokes in an attempt to get a laugh. It very amateur especially when it's constantly misused and has no relevance..

I saw where they were going with it but it seems some one decided to wear sunglasses and completely missed all correct stops on the way to the films destination.

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[–] 15 years ago

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[–] vanderghast 15 years ago

That 'line' has been used by Voltaire, long time ago, so I doubt this movie is making it 'not available for any deeper kind of stories anymore'.

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[–] nonsequitous 14 years ago

That 'line' has been used by Voltaire, long time ago

Pardon me, 'used'?

This is why I rarely venture into the IMDb message forums any more, and get ulcers whenever I do. 'Voltaire,' actually the pen name of François-Marie Arouet, didn't 'use' that 'line,' as you so eloquently phrase it; he was the original author of the famous aphorism, "Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer."

I weep for the future of our culture. Its present and recent past too, for that matter.

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[–] NickHoovis 14 years ago

Wow, I bet this guy writes on his MAC at Starbucks. No, thats too easy. I bet its at a local coffee shop because Starbucks isnt "cool" anymore. Love the quote though, it really shows how intelligent you have to be to use Wikipedia.

I weep for people who spend years getting a doctorate in something as useless as philosophy. TBH i should have clicked back as soon as I read your name. Shame on me for reading further.

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[–] vanderghast 14 years ago

... Indeed... Here quotes from Wiki:

François-Marie Arouet (...) better known by the pen name Voltaire, (...) is also known for many memorable aphorisms, such as: "Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer" ("If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him")

are to be compared with what ... used ... "nonsequitous":

'Voltaire,' actually the pen name of François-Marie Arouet, didn't 'use' that 'line,' as you so eloquently phrase it; he was the original author of the famous aphorism, "Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer."

-- Maybe " nonsequitous" is the author of the wiki-article, after all, so I won't judge neither accuse him of plagiarism, but anyhow, I still have a problem to understand about what he was so upset. After all, Voltaire did used that expression (you are technically wrong saying he did not). As far as if he did more that just using it, if he invented it or not, that is not *my* claim, so it is not to be proved by me, neither it was the purpose of the illustration I brought using a reference to Voltaire (itself with indirect reference to "Stifler" character from American Pies), but to show that it was not new to this movie.

Nonsequitous, you missed that and preferred to trip over an irrelevant detail (irrelevant, "non sequitur", to the discussion). Are some ulcers been proven linked to a state of mind? I was about to say that I am sorry for you, but it suspect that you enjoy having ulcers, after all.

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[–] nonsequitous 14 years ago

Nonsequitous, you missed that and preferred to trip over an irrelevant detail (irrelevant, "non sequitur", to the discussion).

Did you really go and research wikipedia to try and demonstrate that I *might* have gotten my information from that source?

"Ti-i-i-ime is on his hands
Yes it is
O yes it is"

Do you imagine that that's the only source online where those two facts are available? Do you think there are no books -offline- with those two facts, the name and the quote in French, in them? What a narrow narrow world you folks live in.

Plagiarism? It's to laugh. How many people footnote or attribute the movie lines in their sigs here? Only me that I've ever seen. How many people footnote any other information they quote or even reference in their posts? You're really grasping at straws in order to flame someone with whom you disagree, in a left-handed sorta way ("Well, I'm *not* going to say that he's still beating his, ah boyfriend ..."). Nice. Sounds more and more Limbaughian in here every day.

You people are so painfully ignorant. I was beating you up because to refer to the author of a famous aphorism as "using the line" is about the worst writing I can imagine, assuming your knowledge of the authorship. But it pretty much proves your ignorance of that fact.

Also, 'non sequitur' does not mean irrelevant. It literally translates as 'it does not follow', or 'it does not make sense', or 'it's illogical', as in, for example, "I love apples, and apples are not oranges, therefore I do not love oranges."

You really should try knowing what you're talking about before you try showing off your knowledge of what you're talking about.

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." - Ancient Chinese proverb

New revised twitter version ( < 140 characters) - "It is better to remain silent than to open your mouth, foo'."

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[–] vanderghast 14 years ago

But still the fact is that Voltaire used 'the line': the OP present it as 'a line', I was, then, replying to the OP, and I kept his mood, rather that pasting parts of an encyclopedia. I even reported the word line in quote.

You are clearly over reacting, and to me, your reaction does not follow, is not justified, by the discussion.

Non sequitur. Voltaire did use the sentence, and you jumped all over the place like a crazy fool about that I am wrong since Voltaire rather crafted the sentence in one of his famous reply! Watch your ulcers. Possible to calm your bird a litte?

You want a piece of me, great, but you just choose the wrong battle.

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[–] nonsequitous 14 years ago

You assume I pasted part of an online encyclopedia. Perhaps I looked it up in a book. Have you ever read a book? Perhaps I had it memorized, having learned French as my first language, living as I do in France.

The proper way to state the case is not to say that Voltaire "used" the sentence; rather is is to say that he authored the sentence, you fool, you semiliterate fool. One is generally said to 'use' a phrase that another has written or spoken. But I imagine that, like most abstract concepts in semantics, is beyond your comprehension.

And the proper course of action for you would have been to ignore an over-reacting 'crazy fool' such as myself, but you can't help yourself, can you? You have to keep coming back and coming back in a vain attempt to prove your superiority to this so-called 'crazy fool.'

Not me, though. I'm tired of this battle of wits with an unarmed combatant, who can't even 'craft' a proper sentence, but rather spews out 'one of his famous reply' (it's 'replies') and 'you just choose the wrong battle.' (it's 'chose'). I write English as a second language better than you ever will as your first one.

My reaction to this nest of marching morons is not an overly alarmed one, as it is only one of many, ubiquitous on the Net, indicative of the massive failure of your culture's educational system, news media, entertainment media, interactive media, and your culture in general.

I rather suspect that if the French had had a crystal ball back during your colonial revoution and could have seen the low cultural estate to which you have brought yourselves, not even to mention the low political estate, with heroes like Limbaugh, Palin, Coulter, Beck, O'Reilly, Bachmann, et al., not to mention losers like Pelosi, Reid, Coakley and that whole crowd of can't-do-squats, they might well have remained neutral and said good luck, friends, but we have problems of our own, we can't help you.

Remember me when you get old and your once-proud republic has devolved into a second-world Balkan confederacy owned by China.

Over-reaction? I don't think so. You won't know about it until they interrupt reruns of South Park on Comedy Central with news bulletins, and you'll be sitting there saying, wait, what? I'm too old to learn to speak, what was it Miranda? Mandarese? And it's now gonna be a re-education series called Far East Park? Holy Sh.... Who's that knocking at my door?

Don't bother replying. You're in my twit filter now. Not because you give me ulcers. Because you bore me bloody senseless.

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[–] vanderghast 14 years ago

That is not a question of semantics, but a question of context. A man is an animal and so, we can speak of an animal, while referring to a man, without being wrong. The context was about 'the movie used a line' and I reply keeping the same context. You jumped in the conversation like a mad dog with no sense and rather to think a second about the matter, you escalate by global insults to anyone you 'imagined' were implied.

Not only you did not make a point, but more, you greatly fail to what you claim to represent.

Mais il faut bien conclure qu'il est marrant de voir un français faire une montée de lait. Par contre, vous n'êtes pas en mesure de donner d'ordres à quiconque, ici.

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[–] Obnoxiously-Adorable 13 years ago

Ah. You're french. That explains it.

´¨*¨)) -:¦:-
¸.•´ .•´¨*¨))
((¸¸.•´ .•´ -:¦:-
-:¦:-Oooh, sparkly!

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[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] nonsequitous 14 years ago

The only thing I learned in college that I still remember, before I dropped out after 3 years, back in the 60s, is that Helen Keller was right: "College isn't the place to go for ideas."

Neither is the IMDb message board swamp. Thank you for reminding me of that truth.

Also, for what it's worth, you you couldn't pay me enough to drink a cup of Starbucks coffee. Or Dunkin Donuts. I buy from locally owned establishments where the owner is likely behind the counter at some point during the day, brewing the beans, and sweeping the floor after the close of business.

"It should be legal to use a cattle prod on anyone in front of you in line who uses more than six words to order a cup of coffee." - Dennis Miller. 'Coffee regular' in Amherst, MA, before all the local coffee shops got yuppified into food boutiques, was cofee with cream and two sugars. That's how God intended it to be.

Wikipedia? I'm fairly drop-dead certain you had to look up the French version of the quote in order to find out that's what it was, so get off your high horse, webcowboy. I hope I'm not telling tales out of schoool, but people who think American culture began and ends in Hollywood might not be aware - the Web and the Internet are international. People do speak other languages besides American and pidgin-webtalktalk, even here on IMDb. No, really, lol :) !!!!!

And for what else it's worth, I also thought the movie stunk. I gave up on it after they killed off Randy Quaid (the only reason I tuned it in, in the first place) deus ex machina, but watched the last few minutes. They should have just put him in the hospital, awaiting a heart transplant or something, too weak to do anything but give the occasional whispered inspirational speech to his protege, the new coach ("I'm sorry, son, you have to leave now, you can't excite him." "Okay, Doctor. Be strong, Coach T!" "Gasp!") instead of that stoopid coach-faced owl. Hoosiers it weren't.

But as bad as it was, the two posts to which I responded were equally as dumb. If you're defending them, that puts you right down there with them, especially if you're making up stuff about me to insult. Hey don't shoot the messenget, I just call 'em as I see 'em. At least I don't set up straw men and then shoot 'em down, like you. That's pretty weak. You a Rush Limbo fan? Is that where you got that weak school of insult? He does that all the time. Not for nuttin, I'm just sayin' it sounds real familiar. I could be wrong. You might be a Democrat - they're just as bad. Or you might not even care, like most people in the USoA.

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[–] dole_bludger89 13 years ago

Nonsequitous, please shut your mouth.
It's painful to listen to someone who comes on IMDB to give posters an english lesson. You're reaction to this is pathetic and shows you way too much time on your hands.
Perhaps you should find a hobby instead of correcting people on their use of quotes. You can pull out all your literally *beep* but it just makes you look like a tool.
And as far as this educational elitist *beep* goes, shove it up your ass.
If getting a good education means going spoiling everyone's fun because you find a mistake then I would rather stay a absent minded peasant.
*beep* you.

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[–] blackofsic 15 years ago

No it doesn't make any sense, none at all.

I hate how a lot of people who gave this movie a bad review and rating seem as though they were expecting all the jokes to be laugh out loud moments, most of the best moments of this movie were the more subtle moments, the touching moments between the characters.

To say you would give a movie a 2 or 3 rating, you must rate this on a par with such atrocities as Epic Movie and Disaster Movie.

Which is ridiculous.

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[–] saveusjeebus 15 years ago

you would give Epic Movie or Disaster Movie a 2 or 3? you are far too generous. Those type of movies get a 0 if im feeling nice

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[–] LittleMatchGirl 15 years ago

I didn't expect it to be a movie with laugh out loud moments. But i did expect a movie that would know what it was and to be true to itself, which this movie was not. It was very lost and for that, it got a 3 from me.

--------------------------
Posting and You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9q2jNjOPdk

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[–] vanderghast 15 years ago

What " a movie that would know what it was " is?

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[–] nonsequitous 14 years ago

idk if that makes sense!?

I'll put your mind at rest so you can sleep at night - it makes none. Zero zilch zip squat nada bupkus. But don't worry - I have the feeling you should be used to that by now.

The only thing dumber than the reply to your post about Voltaire's 'use' of this 'line' is your post itself. 'Samatta, they don't let you use Google and wikipedia because they have sharp edges? Or you can't figure out how to use them because Crayons aren't involved?

The movie quoted in my tagline is the only one you should be allowed to watch, because otherwise you might learn just enough to become a danger to society.

Here's a clue: Modern civilization and wisdom did not begin with the invention of the motion picture camera and the settlement of Hollywood. No, really, I wouldn't kid you!

I weep.

--
Announcer in 2505-Comin up next on The Violence Channel: An all-new "Ow! My Balls!"-"Idiocracy"

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[–] rawkus1167 15 years ago

I agree with ya Starman25. There were scattered laughs throughout and a handful of genuinely funny scenes, but overall it was too dopey and derivative. Scott's performance was committed as usual so it was worth seeing the movie for him.

"Yes, I'd like a cheeseburger, please, large fries and a cosmopolitan!"

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[–] Raimar_Lunardi 15 years ago

Q: "If God didn't exist, would you invent him?"
R: They already did it several thousand years ago...

The movie was not: Oh deserves a Oscar!, but was quite funny... not too much anyways, but I gave it 7
My scale is:
6 or less: levels of disapointment
7 not good, but not bad (most of the movies got this one.)
8 good movie (1/3 of the movies got this one)
9 Great Movie (less than 10% got this one)
10 Masterpiece (I can count in my fingers how many movies got this one.)

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[–] forbidden_pie 15 years ago

i agree, i watched it last night and found myself chuckling pretty consistently at little bits and pieces here and there.

i thought, for a straight to video effort, that it was quit funny.

seann william scott showed that he's still well worth watching in comedies (well, at least those that have a little style of their own) and i honestly got more laughs out of this than i did out of role models.

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[–] boodasak2003 15 years ago

"but i think it kinda sucks that this line was used in this movie, as it now isn't "available" for any deeper kind of stories anymore... idk if that makes sense!?..."

wow, so no one can ever quote voltaire again because of this movie, pssssssshhh, you're a dumbass

"Godamnit Jack Bauer. You really are the man."-Dennis Reynolds

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[–] therealbwell 15 years ago

I actually thought this movie was halarious, it might have helped that I had no expectations for it at all, I found this movie in a previously viewed bin at Blockbuster for a few bucks and thought "oh wow it went straight to dvd so I better not expect too much from it" but I was totally wrong because I was cracking up almost the entire time, I don't usually laugh out loud during movies but this one just caught me off guard and hit me with so many un-expected, random moments that I just couldnt handle it. Best comedy I've seen in a long time.

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[–] 15 years ago

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[–] nonsequitous 14 years ago

look for a movie that made you laugh for gods sake and rate this against your favourite comedy movie. THATS the only way to rate comedy

You're absolutely right. Rated against my favorite laugh-out-loud comedy:

A Clockwork Orange=10
Balls Out=0

"And o me droogs and brothers, I was cured all right." Now, that's funny!!

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[–] nonsequitous 14 years ago

Seriously, I agree with you in part. So do the Golden Globe folks, who award separate awards for comedy and musicals, and for drama. I respectfully disagree with that perspective, but I will defend to a strongly worked up sweat your right to voice it.

Here's my take. I look at production values of a movie/film. Script. Casting. Direction. Acting. Cinematography. Editing. Music. Those are the major ones, roughly in chronological order. Get all of those right, and you've got a classic. Get enough of them right, and you've got something that a lot of people will love. Get a film where all of them click at the same moment again and again, such as Casablanca, and you have a timeless classic.

But please note: Subject matter, genre, style, tone, none are mentioned in my list. To me at least, they don't matter. I'll watch a film about almost anything as long as it's well-to-very-well done, or at least an interesting attempt, even if it fails.

Which is why I don't mind comparing a light romantic comedy (Spanglish) to a dark comedy (The Graduate, Catch-22, Dr. Strangelove) to a great film noir (Chinatown) to a not-so-great film noir attempt (The Way of War) (Oops, I let the cat out of the bag there - it's not supposed to be an action thriller - seriously, go watch it as film noir, it's not bad if that's what you expect it to be - some good performances, such as Mac, and JK Rowlins).

But I digress. Movies is movies. The idea of all art is to elicit a meaningful emotional response. Which is why I personally gave up on this movie after a short while - to me it seemed unimaginative, lacking in decent production values. I'm not arguing with anyone who enjoyed it, saying you were wrong to laugh at it, just adding my own personal reaction.

I just wanted to express the opinion about comparing different types of films.

Think about it this way. The very best actors of all, both genders, have been able to play all kinds of roles. Jack Lemmon. Dustin Hoffman. Shirley MacLaine. Katherine Hepburn. Jackie Gleason - one of the best comic mimes ever, and Minnesota Fats in The Hustler. I could go on, but I think you can see that this sort of demonstrates my point.

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[–] nonsequitous 13 years ago

look for a movie that made you laugh for gods sake and rate this against your favourite comedy movie. THATS the only way to rate comedy

Really seriously, though, compared to Victor Victoria, The Graduate, Dr. Strangelove, Blazing Saddles, those are laugh out loud for me. Balls wasn't.

There's a movie called Noises Off starring Carol Burnett (need I go further into cracking-everyone-up territory?), Michael Caine, Denholm Elliott, Julie Hagerty, Marilu Henner, Mark Linn-Baker, and John Ritter. With that much comedic experience on one set, of course it's a well done comedy. It's about a thespian troupe who take a play on the road to prepare it for New York, and it starts out with a rehearsal which is a hoot, a real warmer upper. Burnett, with her impeccable timing, gives a hint of what's to come when she starts chewing scenery.

But what I had in mind was one extended scene of about fifteen minutes that had me in stitches, unable to breathe. It goes on backstage during the entire first act during a performance onstage. It consists of a fight/argument among several cast/crew (some of whom are on stage actuing during it, others are stage hands/stage manager). It is *supposed* to be silent (Lots of signage everywhere -- SHHH!!!) and a lot of the humor derives from that. Lots of running around doors almost being slammed things almost being dropped, fights being argued, pantomime, interacting with onstage, up and down backstage stairs on the back wall of the set, all at a dizzying pace.

What makes it so tearfully funny is the perfect timing of what can only be called the choreography of the bit, and how long they are able to stretch it out -- that and with it going on that long, they had time for lots of bad jokes to spring on the viewer. Yes, it borders on slapstick, but very well done slapstick. Three Stooges meets a ballet company being arrested by the Keystone Kops.

But back to this Balls thing, even an intentionally bad movie like Airplane! had me laughing out loud more, the first fifty times I saw it.