The character loses both parents early on in life and joins the army to fill what he calls a void. He has no other friends or family outside the army that we know of. He lives for the army and nothing else so of course it is easy to understand why the character feels as if something is missing in his life and why he appears sad, add this to the fact that he witnesses the death of a friend and that he spends the movie living a life he knows he will have to eventually give up I understand why the character is played like he is. You call it pathetic I call it human. As for having no personality what about his kindness, his respectfulness, his hard working attitude and loving nature?
I can't agree that the only upgrade as you out it was the looks. Paul is rarely around and as Richard points out as soon as they get close to making commitment he disappears again. He makes huge decisions on Faiths behalf ("she is coming on the road with me" and the whole starting their own family away from Nevada City. Heck he only proposes because he thinks Cody is trying to make a move on Faith. Paul was unwilling to make allowances and sacrifices for Faith to make the relationship work whereas Cody was kind and considerate, he listened to her, he made her smile and laugh and they had much more in common (respect for family and the army etc)
For the record they were not engaged when Cody appeared, they were girlfriend and boyfriend and Faith had detailed the strained nature of the relationship on the card she sent to Cody. Also Cody did try and leave, he never planned to stay past the one night it was the fact that he met Faith and Luke and subsequently saved Luke's life that set him on the path to staying at the Spelmans insistence. He had nowhere to go for the holidays and saw an opportunity to live with a kind family for a couple of weeks while helping them in return. He keeps his distance as much as possible from Faith, respecting Paul many times. He doesn't tell Faith that Paul never helped with the tree cutting, he backs off at the dance when asked, he lets Faith leave the tree lot early with Paul (who was supposed to be there with her all day anyway) and the conversation they have at the church at the end shows that he is not trying to muscle in on someone elses territory. He even leaves on Christmas day without saying anything to not encroach on the family's day.
Of course he is sad about the situation because he can see that Paul and Faith are not right for each other but he knows there is nothing he can do. Wouldn't you be sad? You talk about him doing the right thing but he agrees and even says "the right thing to do is to move on".
You seem to be against the premise of the majority of these hallmark movies but having the main characters other half act like a jerk gives an easy in for the new character, it is all for the ease of story telling. I don't think this movie encourages moving in on someone elses territory I think it shows that you shouldn't just settle on someone when they are clearly not right for you and that people deserve happiness even if they fell that they don't.
"Our critique began as all critiques begin: with doubt"
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