Great series... Terrible movie.

Warning. This is long. I rarely post, but when I do, it's wordy. If you want to skip my story and get to my review, scroll down.

Now, I saw the series a year ago and re-watched it recently to refresh myself on it. I was not the biggest fan, but I enjoyed myself.

My friend on the other hand, is a HUGE fan. Watching the series several times and reading the manga.

My boyfriend, never seeing the series, was interested because people have been suggesting it to him for years. Not the biggest anime fan in the world, but he can appreciate a well done film.

All three of us went to see it last night.

The theater was not very packed. I assume because fandango wasn't selling tickets for that theater and that there were 2 other, much larger, places showing it at the same time.

I never looked up what the actual plot of the movie was. I tend to not do that whenever it's a part of a series I like. I put trust in the people who have done a good job in previous work, that I would rather go in blindly than muddle the experience with other peoples opinion. Blank slate.

That was my first mistake.

My second mistake was not investigating the few reviews I did manage to see. Most of them consisted of "I JUST SAW THIS MOVIE FOR THE 10th TIME AND IT WAS MORE AWESOME THAN AWESOME!!!!" and "Greatest EVAR!!!".

One thing that should have set off alarms was that NO ONE actually stated WHAT they liked about the movie. Not a single detail.

My final mistake (something I am also chalking up to a warning from the fates. A warning which I IGNORED), was not taking the silent warning from the projectionist. When 7:30 struck, they began to fast forward the preview/commercials on; what must be, hands DOWN; the WORST DVR in existance. They initially went halfway through the film, before rewinding 30 minutes to BEFORE they started the fast forwarding.

Eventually, they managed to make it about 8 minutes before the start of the movie and let it roll. Causing the movie to begin 15 minutes later than it was supposed to. Giving us ample time to escape.

No one moved.

I would like to take this time to apologize to the projectionist at the Bridge movie theater. I'm sorry for the things I screamed at you during the skimming. I'm sure your mother is a nice lady.

Movie Review
Three things I believe make for an enjoyable viewing experience.

1. Good story
2. Good visuals
3. Good music.

Eureka Seven the series had all of them. Along with good characters and voice acting. Bonuses. The beginning of the series was a bit dull, but it picked up.

Eureka Seven the movie had none.

Let me explain.

First of all, the story was completely different from the original series. Which I had no problem with. In fact, part of me was hoping that this was the case. As the series was 50 episodes long and condensing all of that into a 2 1/2 movie did not seem like a good idea. Lots of key plot points would be lost or mishandled and so would characters. RahXephon managed to do it, but that was only 26 episodes and they slightly altered the ending to fit. An ending with I think worked better than the original ending.

That did not happen here. In fact, the ES movie manage to bring all my fears of plot condensing to life and then some.

Other than Renton and Eureka in the beginning; Locations, terminology, characters, NOTHING was explained. Half an hour (I know, I kept checking) into the movie, my boyfriend turned to me and asked, "Um... is this the end?" And I could not answer him because I was not sure.

A huge battle sequence was taking place. People were saying things I did not understand and I'm pretty sure I was supposed to be feeling sympathy for dying people and some sort of joy in some moments, but all I could think about was that the projectionist was taking revenge on us by skipping to the end of the movie.

And that would not be the last time. There were 5, count 'em, 5 moments that I was sure was the end. Only to look at my watch and realize only 10 minutes passed.

Things happened that weren't explained, things were explained that DIDN'T happen! And people kept repeating things over and over.

And over and over.

And over and over.

And over and over.

Mainly Renton, Eureka and Holland. Or, rather, "Holland", who was not REALLY Holland Novak, but a seven-teen year old who, after terrible experiments from the military was aging 3 times his normal rate, was posing as Holland after... he... killed... him?

...

Was trying to kidnap the robot alien Eureka so she and Renton could help him lead him and the other lost children back to Neverland (which was the original ES universe), by re-enacting the plot for a legend/story/fairy tale book that everyone in the movie seemed to have a copy of, so they would no longer age.

Yeah. I'm am left frustrated, hurt and a little insulted.

This is exactly what is wrong with anime. It is incoherent, pointless and not entertaining to most people and after last night, I understand why. For years, I could never defend anime as a whole, but I've always managed to make people understand why I enjoy it.

I cannot do that right now. I'm not sure I want to.

Nothing made sense. Not WHO people were, not WHAT they were doing, not WHY they were doing it, and DAMN sure not what happened afterwards.

Was Dewey a pedophile? Was that why "Holland" killed him? And were the necklaces supposed to represent something OTHER than they fact that they both had one and thought of each other?

And why all the damn rainbows? I know the subtitle has a pocket full of them, but they weren't even that pretty!

Which leads me to my next point. The visuals. This movie was ugly. In comparison to other works by Bones. In comparison to the original series. Hell, in comparison to some SCENES, the overall movie was ugly.

Animation went from okay to bad regularly and the bad glitching DVR was not helping. The colors all looked dull and washed out, which I initially chalked up to the aforementioned DVR, but after one scene went black and white for NO apparent reason, I had to reassess what I was seeing. I supposed that it was to emphasize the blood at the end of it, but the colors were so dull for most of the movie, I don't think blindness could have made me miss it.

The best animation came at the end. In the final 2 minutes.

I am disappointed in you Bones.

Lastly, the music.

I don't remember it. So I have nothing to say.

Scratch that.

I do remember it. And I remember was the same dull generic battle music the whole movie. It COULD have been different, but I could not tell. I was too busy trying to figure out what was going on. The only good sounding music was what little bit of the ending credits I heard as I ran down the steps and out the theater.

The series had amazing music. To the point where after I watched the first episode, it too me two weeks for find out the name, then track down "Storywriter".

No matter how bad a movie or series is, I can always find some good music SOMEWHERE so that I can say that I walked away enjoying SOMETHING. I could have liked the movies ending theme, but at that point, it would not have been worth it.

Maybe one day I can try and re-watch it, but right now, I don't want to see anything animated.

If someone disagrees with me. Please. Clear up any points I made.

I wanted to like this movie.

It obviously did not feel the same way.