Yawn

You critics will be eating your words when Heath comes out and makes you wet your pants.

I do give kudos to the costumes - mostly Batman's and the Joker - as well as re-enacting some famous scenes from the comic books, but good googly-moogly, was this short fan film embarassing to watch.

The acting is incredibly lackluster. Despite an appearance that makes him seem as if he was ripped from the funny pages, Paul Molnar forces every. Single. Laugh. It is neither manical nor remotely creepy. It's just forced. For those claiming he's better than Jack Nicholson, Mark Hammil, or the late Heath Ledger - what are you smoking? Sure, none of them look EXACTLY like the Joker, but at the very, very least they can act. Paul Molnar isn't even an actor, and has only appeared in fan films and as an extra on Law and Order. As such, I don't expect much from him, but I do look down upon him when comparing him to such talented people as the aforementioned Nicholson, Hammil, and Ledger.

Even if the acting were decent, I would wonder if I'd even be able to hear it. Often the actors yell just to be heard - as if there were no sort of audio equipment on hand. No boom mikes, lapel mikes, or wireless mikes, unless I'm wildly mistaken. But it sure doesn't sound like I am.

But even if I played the movie on mute (which, combined with the hammy acting and uninspired music, I really considered), director Aaron Shoenke has a light grasp on cinematography and editing. Aaron employs shot/reverse shot and slanted camera angles, but that apparently is the length of his knowledge.

It brings me to a problem that I see too often. The fans that are empassioned enough about Batman to make fan films about him are usually, apparently, not filmmakers. That's why we keep seeing these cheap Batman fan films shot in their uncle's warehouse with a camcorder and all their friends playing Gordon, Batman, and the thugs they fight. This is why when someone like Aaron Shoenke comes along and injects some production value, all the fans swoon, because all of a sudden, it looks "professional" when in fact he doesn't appear to possess much knowledge of filmmaking. I don't know Shoenke, but I suspect all his filmmaking "skills" come from simply watching movies, instead of receiving some very much needed instruction from professionals. Even people like Sandy Collora, who has actually shot commercials for big companies, hasn't achieved much success outside of his advertisements and personal short films, and I suspect is the reason behind his wildly incohesive Dead End film. Yet, though I could criticize the writing for Dead End for hours on end, even he possess more filmmaking ability than Shoenke.

On the other side of the coin, talented and accomplished filmmakers, such as Christopher Nolan, are scrutinized for every change they make to make the characters adaptable for the big screen because all fans want is for someone to hold a camera to the comic book and make them move, since the slightest alteration to a character's persona or appearance will freak them out. One day I hope fans will realize what's possible on the pages of a comic, isn't always possible - or more appropriately - effective on film.

If there's one positive thing to come out of Patient J, it's that it helped persuade me to believe that a more traditional, gray, fabric costume can work for the Bat on film.