Im sorry message board, but there are a few things that I must get off my chest. I know that it has been nearly two years since I last visited this board to spread my childish hate of this man, but I must say that I have done a lot of growing up in these past two years. To give you guys a little heads up let me share a few stand out moments of the life of FPPEHT: I matured a lot, I went to college and became educated in the humanities, started a grad program this last fall, become a pet owner, dated a girl without knowing it, broke up with a girl that i didnt know i was dating, got harassed by a las vegas pimp, went to a wedding and funeral, lost a close friend of mine to the state of oregon, had minor foot surgery, saw canada, changed my phone number twice, had a run in with willem dafoe, lied about meeting del taco spokesman dan, saw avatar twice, fell in love with natalie portman, became repulsed by natlie portman, thought natlie portman was decent looking, fell back in love with jack in the box tacos, got stung by a bee while telling my neice that bees wont hurt us if we leave them alone, saw transformers 2 and nearly shed a tear, trolled the dark knight board, beat both mass effect games, stayed up for 24 hours playing fallout 3, saw wild hogs, experienced 2 earth quakes, got glasses, woke up to two of my friends fighting over what 'counts as date rape,' learned that in vegas its not what you do -but who you know, met a very cool guy by the name of arone`, realized that sativia is lame, and most importantly i realized that anytime one of your friends sets you up with one of their friends -make sure she doesnt do porn.
As you can tell, i did a lot of growing up these past years and i realized that my hatred of BAM was really just a hatred of myself. The man goes through life living it the way i want to. I had to belittle him to make myself feel better as a person. It didnt really work, but id like to think that it motivated me to go back to school, move out of parents house, finish school, and move back in to my parents house while going to another school. I think I have BAM to thank for that.
Plus I met him at twilight book signing with his wife missy. Very nice couple until someone walked by and said "hey missy, lose the zero and get with the hero!" BAM was immediatly in tears and pulled out two tampons from his man purse and put them near his eyes to soak up the shame that he noticed i saw. He begged me not to write about what i had seen on imdb, but I said "no" and he then cried much harder. Long story short, i went home with missy and made sweet love to her on don vitos bedding. the room had an oily atmosphere and an oder of phily cheesesteak with buffalo wing sauce. it was an enjoyable evening but life changing...because at that single historic moment in time i realized that BAM is a PU55Y and always will be.
In Soviet Russia, movies watch you!
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