MovieChat Forums > Away from Her (2007) Discussion > Grant is not a good husband , not a good...

Grant is not a good husband , not a good man ( spoliers )

posted 11 years ago by ModarNow
22 replies | jump to latest

This could be considered artistically rude . although the story implies that Grant ( Fiona's husband ) was a good husband who stayed with his wife through the years with all her ups & downs ...

But after all he cheated on her when she was young and healthy and then cheated on her again when she is old and ill !! what kind of loyalty is this ? he is not a good husband at all .. just because he didn't leave her it doesn't make him a hero , he is a betrayer who needs her in his life because she makes him feel better about himself ..

Do you agree with any of this ?

[–] lousvr 10 years ago

There's something in what you say... guess it's all how much it is one way or the other.
People are mostly concern about themselves first. Not in an obvious way they can detect..
Life can be difficult.

[–] ziggystar86 10 years ago

I think this very real, I wouldn't call him bad man even if what he does is not so good, he's just human.

[–] ziggystar86 10 years ago

I think this very real, I wouldn't call him bad man even if what he does is not so good, he's just human.

[–] timlin-4 10 years ago

It's only women who can "cheat" by having sex on the side; men have only cheated if they leave.

[–] ModarNow 10 years ago

@ timlin-4 : kidding right ? , what you said is what could be mistakenly understood from the movie and movies like this , but in reality cheating is cheating , the theory you suggest can work in countries like Iran & Saudi Arabia , not US or Europe and what so-called " the first world "!

[–] timlin-4 10 years ago

Here is what our "sophisticated society" looks like: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/04/24/178799235/1-inmate-impregnated-4-guards-at-md-jail-prosecutors-say

[–] LoveGod-2 10 years ago

Dear friend, you are right.

No one who is unfaithful to his wife can be considered a "good" person. God chose to create marriage (Genesis 2) and says that one man and one woman should be faithful until death. Other than that, there is adultery Matthew 19:9).

While we may think that Grant was noble in staying with his wife, in reality, he was unfaithful in the past (apparently) and was faithful toward the end. A "good husband" would have been true to his wife even during her mental problems and struggles with dementia. No excuses and no failures.

[–] ModarNow 10 years ago

true ...

[–] jnorgle 10 years ago

I think he succumbed way too many times for being married...he sucks, but at the same time he's quietly noble, which is a strange combination. Odd feller. No hero, this guy.

http://i61.tinypic.com/2v3j8gp.jpg
http://i39.tinypic.com/2s8mluo.jpg

[–] sallyjrw 10 years ago

She's in a facility and she doesn't recognize him. On top of that, she's in love with another man! What is he supposed to do? Divorce her? No, I know. You seem to think he should just be celibate until she dies. Or hope that one day she will remember him and want to make love. Not even just one hurdle, but two.

It's not like he gave up on her. He's calling the nurse during the 30 days. After 30 days, he's going to visit Fiona (everyday it looks like). And he waited. He waited for her to remember him. When Aubrey left, he went to ask Mirian if Aubrey could visit Fiona. He obviously wants Fiona to be happy. It's not like he started dating and sleeping around the minute she got in there, or the minute she forgot him, or the minute she attached to Aubrey, or the minute she moved to the second floor. Good grief, I should be so lucky to have a man be there for me and do anything to make me happy, including bring me another man that I'm in love with.

Are you married? Would you be celibate in his situation? She's in her 60's. She could live for quite some time.

I bet you like the Notebook better but I doubt you would do what that husband did.

[–] ModarNow 10 years ago

He cheated on her years ago when she was young and stable. And then he did it again when she is old... he is a cheater, he wears a mask of a good man but he is just a fake person... It's not about that she is ill and he's got nothing else to do. We can feel his nature through the movie...

The problem is that she's settled for the less, just like you would do. And we can clearly feel that although she has forgiven him, but she is still deeply hurt, even after she forgot almost everything she can still remember the pain of his unfaithfulness!

I never watched The Notebook.

[–] sallyjrw 10 years ago

Ok, I'm glad I didn't give away the ending to the Notebook.

Anyway, you didn't answer my question. What, exactly, was he supposed to do in the situation? Would it be better if he got a divorce? Or do you expect him to remain celibate until his wife remembers him, which could potentially be never?

[–] ModarNow 10 years ago

I expect him to be clear, honest and not fake... Like I said it's not about the phase of her illness, it's about his lifestyle. Either be with her or be away from her, you can't handle your penis then be clear and tell her!...as simple as that...it doesn't matter if she remembers him or not, it's deeper than that.
There is a reason why the movie is named "Away from her", it refers to this particular dilemma, this moral settlement he has failed to do... and by the way if it's all about sexual needs as you said then he can sleep with her and he did, but he chose to have another woman...

He caused her pain all her life, and he continues to do that through her illness.And sure she had it coming when she stayed with him..

It's really sad that you are actually saying that one should simply sleep with other people when his partner has Alzheimer!

[–] bhoover247 10 years ago

Part of the marriage vows say "In sickness and in health". I would say to Sallyjrw that if you or the husband in this movie is not prepared to do this, you have no buisness getting married.

[–] ModarNow 10 years ago

^Exactly!

[–] spookyrat1 10 years ago

I expect him to be clear, honest and not fake...

Fake???

He caused her pain all her life, and he continues to do that through her illness.

You know this? How, pray tell? Buddy, I think you watched a different movie.

It's really sad that you are actually saying that one shouldn't move on to other relationships, when his Alzheimers affected partner has effectively asked him to do that, as she has done herself.

[–] tywescoat 9 years ago

He's moving on, just as she has. She has given all of her time and affection to aubrey, and sometimes doesn't even know who her husband is. I think it's what she would have wanted actually. It's pretty clear that they are deeply in love and are the loves of each others lives. Fiona herself says that "People want to be in love every single day, what liability." He has a sense of guilt BECAUSE he loves her so much. If he didn't, he wouldn't care about what he had done before. He loves her so much that he convinces Marion to take her husband back to Fiona. How many husbands would willingly step aside and let their wives spend their final years loving another man while becoming completely forgotten themselves? He did it for her, not himself.