This film is amazing. *SPOILERS*
....it's only an hour long.
Don't be fooled by the "71 minutes" on the back of the box; according to my DVD player, the credits start rolling at 61 minutes. That leaves ten minutes of some of the slowest moving credits I've ever seen to pad things out. A sixty minute movie. Wow. What happened?
I was disappointed. It's great to see Full Moon Video back in action. And the first twenty minutes were enjoyable, even inspiring. (How cool would it have been if the kid became -- I hate to say it -- a puppet master? Imagine this: The Samurai frees him, they make friends, one of the boys gets rough with his sister/love interest, so the kid arranges an accident. Then the power starts getting to him, and...)
And nothing. He gets tied up, and the only interesting character disappears for the next twenty minutes (or 1/3rd of the movie!).
THEN, when he finally wakes up... HE TURNS INTO A LITTLE GIRL.
Argh. So frustrating. But not as frustrating as the numerous bloody-screaming-murders that take place in a three bedroom house, completely unnoticed by the people downstairs. Allright, there was that one scene where the Hobgoblins-esque skank is dancing to music (squeak, squeak), but once the music goes off, shouldn't people, like, notice the dying and stuff?
And *where* did the love interest girl go to for ten minutes? She gets pissed at the jock while doing the dishes, wanders off in a modestly sized, doll-filled house, and shows up out of nowhere to untie the kid upstairs. Was she born with polio? Do stares face *that* much of a challenge for her?
Jesus. So, so much wrong with this picture.
Look, I realize Charles was going for something new. Puppet Master had gotten stale, so he wanted to do a posession picture. That's fine. New ideas are always good. But are unfinished ideas really better than unoriginal ones? (Besides, it all boiled down to "German looking drill head guy attacks genitalia" anyway. Not exactly a great departure.)
I've got an idea for Full Moon Video:
Stop making movies. Just stop. They're no good anymore. After this, I'm not even going to give Gingerdead Man a chance. Instead, just release feature-length Full Moon Video specials. They're the best part, anyway! Just film guys in monster makeup, blood-splattered actresses and kids pawing the special FX, all talking about some fictional movie they're never going to make. Because the FMV specials at the end have always been the best part.
In the meantime, there's always the special edition 64 minute Doll Graveyard Director's Cut to look forward to.
Blarg! http://thor.mirtna.org/