MovieChat Forums > Trapped Ashes (2007) Discussion > This movie was TERRIBLE.

This movie was TERRIBLE.

posted 18 years ago by articus
13 replies | jump to latest

I spent 20 bucks of my hard-earned money to see this movie last night at the Toronto International Film Festival and it was a complete waste of my money.

Not only were the stories stupid with horrible acting, but it was boring as hell!

I'm generally an easy guy to please -- I love B movies -- but this just didn't make it.

The Director of one of the segments went up proudly before the movie to introduce it and confessed that he had not yet seen the movie and this screening would be his first time. I can almost guarantee that he walked out of that theater fuming that everything he had accomplished in his career was just shot to hell.

The movie's premise sounds decent enough -- particularly from a filmmaker's perspective -- Five different directors each direct a horror segment of a horror movie. Sounds decent, right? Five directors should pull off some good frights!

But this movie...with FIVE different horror stories? NOTHING. They weren't scary. Only one of them was vaguely creepy. All the other ones were just down-right retarded.

***SPOILERS***
For example, the first segment/story depicted a failing actress who decided to get a boob-job to boost her career. The Doctor guy she meets with explains that he won't be using the usual methods like sylicone or gel or whatever -- no, he uses boobs donated from
cadavers -- Dead bodies -- .... ooooo .... --

So, she goes through with it (cuz it's Hollywood afterall) and next we see her, she's showering with her valuptuous boobs and havin' a good ol' time -- But of course, her boobs being from a dead body and all, there are side effects -- and this particular side-effect just so happens to be that her boobs are VAMPIRE boobs -- They suck the blood of people and she stays eternally youthful. They get these little mouths much like a leech with little fangs and everything. It was retarded.
***SPOILERS END***

Sure, there are all kinds of boobies in this flick. But I didn't go see a horror movie directed by five horror directors to see boobs --

No, I went to see a horrifying masterpiece that just might've potentially had boobs in it, seeing as how topless ladies is a horror convention and all.

They were basically five REALLY DUMB "Tales from the Crypt" Episodes. If these were handed to the producers of "Tales from the Crypt", they probably would've been thrown into the reject pile.

I wish I had enjoyed it --
It was quite a disappointment.

[–] suttercane 18 years ago

Yeah, it was awful. I don't blame the director's though, i blame the script.... it was all written by the same guy... I guess you can get anything made by Japanese financing.

To add insult to injury the film was too long (definitely needs a tighter edit) which resulted in all the subways being closed when it let out.... which means I had to pay for a cab home. So overall I paid $50 to see a film I'd turn off had I rented it.

It was so bad that I'm actually tempted to not go see S&MAN tonight because I don't know if I can afford another expensive disappointment (though I hear S&MAN is very good).... might just eat the ticket.

[–] articus 18 years ago

Can't offer you any advice there, brother -- I'm not going to see S&MAN tonight -- I might see SEVERANCE tomorrow -- haven't decided yet.

At least PRINCESS on Friday should be pretty solid.

[–] suttercane 18 years ago

Go see Severence... i watched a DVD screener of it last week (twice) and it's absolutely great.

[–] Holden-17 18 years ago

I completely agree that the problem was with the script, which was written by the film's producer. If the directors had more to work with, the segments could have been a lot better. As mentioned above, the Ken Russell vampire boobs segment was aweful, but at least it illicited some laughs. Sean Cunningham's section was atmospheric, but boring. The Kubrick thing in Monte Hellman's segment was weird. They weren't really disrespectful towards him, but there was something not quite right about it even though it was the only aspect of it that kept my interest. The best segment of the entire film was definitely John Gaeta's, which is odd because he's a relative newbie when it comes to directing. That segment starts with an interesting concept that's a little creepy and gross, but it didn't really go anywhere. The idea didn't reach its full potential. But what was there was pulled off pretty well, but the disappointment of th previous segments made it pretty hard to enjoy it. And Joe Dante did a pretty good job of directing the framing story of the film, it's too bad the acting wasn't any better there and that the story wasn't more interesting. It came off is being very forced. Overall, it was a waste of money for the ticket and cab ride for me also. But that's what it's like at the festival.... they can't all be great.

[–] mike4life_sk8 18 years ago

a few of the stories were pretty good but the yea the

*SPOILERS*

vampire tits things were just ridiculous. no scare factor at all, just plain stupid. i also didnt like the fact that a 1/3 of the move is a softcore porn. its alrite if theres a little bit as there are in your average horror movie but pretty much every 10-15mins there was tits here and there. it was hawt and all but i came to enjoy a decent HORROR movie.

[–] murrayboyer 17 years ago

This movie wasn't bad, it was SOOOOOOOO Bad. I saw it when it ran at our festival here in Calgary. I thought it would be campy fun, like Evil Dead. Or even scary, like The Grudge or something like that. It had none of that. I can see how it was supposed to be a "Twilight Zones" or "Tales from the Crypt" kinda thing, but it failed pretty bad there too. I used to watch Tales from the Crypt all the time, and this movie didn't even come close to that..

**SPOILERS**

I'm not opposed to a little T&A in the right places, but it was SO out of place here. The vampire boob thing was disturbing, I couldn't even watch the operation scene. It was funny to see the actor from Neon Rider/Adderly though, smoking a cigar and drinking a scotch while operating!!

The Japanese scene was disturbing on so many levels. Sex with a corpse, the rape scenes, it all pretty much sucked. Plus, it was way too long..

The Stanley Kubrick stuff I didn't get, frankly. Ok, she was a vampire. But it was so subtle that you could miss it entirely if you weren't looking for it. The fact that it was supposed to be about a famous director didn't save it at all. The girl was hot though, and ironically the only one that didn't get naked in this movie. My friend actually fell asleep during this part.

The tapeworm segment was slightly amusing, but mostly boring. It was nice to see Deanna Milligan, but other than that it was pretty lame.

It's too bad, I was actually looking forward to this one. I like Joe Dante, and the premise seemed intriguing. From what I hear about the other movie that was playing(After Sex), I picked the wrong damn movie..

[–] berniegrim 16 years ago

This movie IS horrible. Down right horrible. It's not the least bit entertaining. It's not scary. It's not funny. It's bad. bad. bad. bad.

I was interested in this because of Sean S. Cunningham's participation, but it was awful. There's nothing good about it at all. Just bad.

1 star out of 10. And that's too much.

[–] totalfailure 16 years ago

it was awful - i skipped from the first story to the second, and popped the dvd out before the second story even finished. the intro alone to the story telling should have alerted me to how horrible it was going to be

[–] MrBelette 13 years ago

The horror was the movie in itself , not the stories it contained

[–] olsh666 13 years ago

sorry about your 20 bucks man. saw this on netflix, was expecting a fun anthology horror movie...i am VERY easy to please when it comes to this kind of stuff and even expected it to be kinda dumb, but enjoyable. wow. just horrible. gives "bad" horror movies a bad name.

[–] YankeeDood 12 years ago

Yeah, everything sucked in this movie, especially the characters.
It's a wannabe Creepshow, but doesn't come close.

Miss the old USA Network?
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/oldusanetwork

[–] Wierd_1 12 years ago

What I would like to know is, what was the scene with the pregnant woman like? Did she give birth, or was she killed?

Visit this link while you can: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTM1C2m7J_Q

[–] jt1999 11 years ago

Terrible, yes... but could have been worse...

After all, it did have tits in it, let's not forget that... even though they were vampire tits.

As I always say, vampire tits are better than none at all.