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What I learned from Nightmare Man



Lets all share what we learned from Nightmare Man, I'll start:

1) When you know a killer is outside and armed with a crossbow, make sure you stay in the room that has the most windows. Make sure you are visible at all times in front of the windows, and no one should ever even bring up the idea of possibly moving to the basement or a closet, or any other safer room.

2) When someone arrives with a car, don't try to take the car to safety, just wait around until you all get killed.

3) When trying to kill your wife, hire the biggest idiot you can find. He will chase your wife for a long time through the woods, and while having many easy opportunities to kill her he will somehow fail each time, yet somehow manage to kill everyone else with perfect accuracy.

Anyone else learn anything?


You've got the touch! You've got the power!

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1) They made a point of turning off the lights and staying away from the windows. They spent a lot of time hiding behind the sofa. There may not actually have been a safer room, we didn't see much more of the house.

2) Yes, go outside so the armed madman can shoot you. The police had already been called, and were on their way. Staying put was the safest bet.

3) You have a point there. However:

a) He actually said he deliberately played with her a bit as 'foreplay'.

b) I imagine there's an element of 'beggars can't be choosers' when you hire a hitman. I mean, you can't exactly pick up a copy of What Hitman magazine and look at their ratings.


Movies I've Seen: http://imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=25003655

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[deleted]

This looks like fun...

7) When watching your boyfriend take an arrow in the mouth from a crossbow (which is primarily your own fault, being that you provided the killer with said weapon of destruction), it's best to make horrible wisecracks than to show any genuine emotion.

8) Night Court's Richard Moll will do ANYTHING for a few thousand dollars (and based on "Southland Tales", so will John Larroquette).

9) Since the last 15 or so minutes shamelessly rips off the short story "Prey", Richard Matheson deserves compensation.

10) If you purchase a isolated house in the woods, make sure it's in closer proximity to a police station.

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11. Doctors in psych wards routinely discontinue medications to patients in straightjackets and padded rooms.

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12. When there is a killer outside your house, never ever ever call 911. Instead call a phone number on your friend's fridge.

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Wasn't the number to the closest police station? I thought a point was made that 911 was a foolish effort, if the locals couldn't get there sooner then a couple hours.

Ash: "Boomstick: $199.99, Shells: 39.99, Zombies heads blowing off: priceless!!"

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13. While a hitman can murder 4 people with the ease of a serial killer, he turns into a bumbling klutz when confronted 1-on-1 with his intended target.

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14) It's pronounced Afirka, not Afrika. Ah-FUR-ka.
Used in a sentence: I bought the mask from Rome, they imported it from Afirka.

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Africa. Not Afrika.

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[deleted]

15. Make sure that when you get your wife into a secluded wooded area to have a hit man kill her, make sure the hit man wears a goofy costume to make her think she is seeing the devil so she call tell people about it after she's dead.

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