Statement from the last third of the game
*earlier, Carla and her partner Tyler*
Carla: "This case is strange."
Tyler: "This case is ****ed up"
*Enter Tyler's wife, Sam*
Tyler: "Hey sam, what's happening?"
Sam: "**** your ****ing job. I have a ticket to Buffalo or some ****ing place like that, and the train leaves in an hour. if you dont come with me you dont love me."
Tyler: "Ok. Lets go. Hey Carla?"
Carla: "Yeah?"
Tyler: "I'm pretty *bleep*ed so i'm just going to cave into my girls ultimatum and quit my job and sell flowers in ****ing Buffallo. All in the period of 2 minutes i decided this"
Carla: "...ok"
*later on*
Helpful Psychic: "Good job Lucas. You've saved the Jade Child. Now hand her over to me so i can protect her."
[you get a choice to say yes or no] either way:
HP: "Hahahaha i'm not really this psychic that's been helping you through two thirds of the game. IM FROM THE INTERNET!!! IM REALLY A HUMAN SHAPED TRANSLUCENT YELLOW THING THAT WAS BORN IN THE 80's WHEN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE WAS UNKNOWNINGLY CREATED!! NOW HAND OVER THE CHILD"
Lucas: "...what the ****?"
Carla: "LUCAS!! OVER HERE!!"
*escapes from AI and runs to Carla*
Carla: "QUICK LUCAS! DONT ASK QUESTIONS! JUST FOLLOW THAT HOMELESS MAN INTO THE SEWER"
*they do so*
Homeless man: "Good we're safe. Hello Lucas, i am a homeless person. Me and other homeless people you see on the street aren't really impovershed people who can't get a job at all! We're called....THE INVISIBLES!! Yes lucas, you guessed correctly. Homeless people have been secretly living underground in the sewers waiting for prophecies!"
Lucas: ".......This is a ****ing joke right? ........Listen, I'm going to go back there and get some sleep. And when i wake up you guys better have sobred up!"
Carla: "I'll come with you. Even though i was a cop trying to convict you for murder during the first 2/3rds of the game, currently suspect that you are a member of the walking dead, and i've really only known you on a personal basis for a few hours: i think it would totally be beneficial if we ****ed right now."
--
No, we dont have polar bears in Finland and Santa doesnt leave in N-Pole damned!